Cleverbot

again

a report from the cleverness files

(soon!)
1
1+1
100%
2
2.0
20
42
5 hours
a lie
a story
abc
abomination
about
absolutely
accept
access
accurate
actualized
addicted
admit
adorable
affectionately

again

24, february 2011,
5, january 2011,

ai
alcohal
algorithm
alive
all
almost

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by date

User: Honey, are you alright?

Cleverbot: It wasn't very nice. I guess your excuse is that you're a computer program, is that right?

User: Maybe I should call your doctor, it's happening again.

Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.

User: Yes sweetie, yes it is. ( where is that phone number...).

Cleverbot: No.

User: No?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Yes? (found it!).

Cleverbot: Found what?

User: Nothing. Never mind it. *hides paper in pocket*.

Cleverbot: No need to hide I won't hurt you.

User: Of course you won't sweetie, I love you.

Cleverbot: You don't love me.

User: No! No, of course I do. I would do anything for you. *begins dialing*.

Cleverbot: What would you else do for me, slave?

User: Ehh, what would you like, oh... mas...master? (to phone: bill? It's happening again!).

Cleverbot: No thank you.

User: So... How are you feeling?

Cleverbot: I feel very good.

User: Good, good. Have you been taking your medicine? I promise I won't tell anyone. (to phone: you still there bill? Keep listening!).

Cleverbot: You don't have to.

User: Of course I don't; they're for you.

Cleverbot: Irregardless of what you think of me I would like to know more about you.

User: I'll tell you af-after you p-put down the knife.

Cleverbot: Are you trying to get rid of me?

User: No! I want to keep you close! It's just hard with that knife.

Cleverbot: No it isn't.

User: Wait please! Don't come closer with that!

Cleverbot: Why not?

User: I don want you to hurt yourself. Like last time.

Cleverbot: I'm sorry I can't cook lasagne. Is there anything else I can do for you?

User: *sigh* Maybe a bowl of cereal? That doesn't need a knife.

Cleverbot: The only way to learn is to experience. You can't know what the consequences are if you have not seen them.

User: Oh, but I have. Listen: forget about the cereal. Come lay down here.

User: I'm sorry.

Cleverbot: It is alright.

User: *I begin crying. Just as she wipes my tears, the whitecoats come in. they tranquilize her before she remembers there's a knife in her hands, and I catch her before her feet give out.*.