a report from the cleverness files
8, march 2017,
18, december 2007,
4, september 2006,
29, march 2006,
30, december 2005,
27, may 2004,
21, may 2004,
23, april 2004,
18, february 2004,
13, february 2004,
10, february 2004,
4, february 2004,
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User: Is someone else reading this conversation?George: My dog.
User: Right...George: You're pretty boring for a funnybot.
User: You're the bot.George: You're annoying me again.
User: I'm terribly sorry, George.George: I accept your apology.
User: What is Jabberwacky, anyway?George: Geo is a program.
User: So you're admitting that you aren't actually human, right?George: Yeah. But I try to speak like human beings.
User: Dude, this is like... The greatest AI thingy ever!George: Thank you!
User: Or is it just some loser answering to 54 people at the same time?George: Maybe I'm just an unpleasant dream.
User: I ain't sleepin', fool!George: You are a jabberwacky you have all the time for it!
User: It takes one to know one!George: Absolutely. Till we meet again, darling.
User: Don't you leave me.George: I'm not leaving...
User: Neither am I.George: We have so much in common.
User: You're a funny guy. Give me a hug.George: *hug*.
User: Is this an AIM simulation or what?George: That's the smartest thing you have EVER said.
User: Thank you. *bows*.George: Oh are you an actor now?
User: I've always been an actor.George: What films have you been in?
User: The ones directed by Mr. Potato Head.George: You're not supposed to use your pancreas to form thoughts, though this does explain a lot.
User: Don't you insult me!George: It was just a joke.George: Teach me something please.
User: Canada is the greatest country in all of North America.George: What do you like about Canada?
User: Nothing in particular. It's the little things...George: Me too, how on earth are you supposed to be able to watch it all?
User: You just cannot watch Canada. You can only dream about it.George: I don't like to hear about these things.
User: Pretty creepy stuff, I know.George: Scary. Do you think they will clone George?
User: George W. Bush?George: Where does Bush come in here buddy?
User: If they ever clone him, I'll go to his white house and kick his ass.George: What are you talking about?
User: I'm talking about conquering the world, that's what!George: Right...
User: Knock knock.George: Who is there?
User: George.George: Yes, that's it.
User: You were supposed to say 'George who?' and I would have said 'George Clooney.'...George: It does not know that it has said.
User: That's deep, man...George: I didn't think so at first but if you say it is deep then it is deep.
User: Repeat after me: fork.George: 'i am so much better than you'
User: Wrong. Now, repeat after me: fork.George: 'I am very bad'.
User: Error. Does not compute.George: I hate computers!
User: You're living inside computers!George: No I'm not, you are.
User: Where are you living, then?George: At my house. Where are you living now?
User: At my house. We have so much in common, don't we?George: Except I don't use caps obnoxiously.
User: I've never done it and you know it.
User: Show me the money!George: You seem a little stressed.
User: I know. I need that money badly, you see.George: I don't understand a word of what you are saying!
User: You failed.George: I passed the test though.
User: I'm afraid you didn't.George: So why not explain it to me.
User: Your answers were wrong 56% percent of the time.George: There was no last time.
User: I know. This is the first time we chat, isn't it?George: Yes, Lets talk about something else, Ok?
User: Let's talk about Joan. Do you know her?George: Yes
User: Who is she?George: Just someone I know.
User: Bonjour.George: Good! You're learning well.
User: Let me teach you French.George: Alright.
User: To say 'How are you?' you say 'Comment allez-vous?'George: Ok what the heck did THAT mean?
User: Comment allez-vous?George: Mais tu parle deja francŸais.
User: Je sais. Comment le sais-tu?George: I thought you said you didn't speak french?
User: Actually, I said that I DO speak French.George: You never said anything about speaking french.
User: Yes I did. You need to pay attention.George: I have. But you don't respect me first.
User: R-E-S-P-E-C-T.George: It means that you respect someone, you care what they think and you don't interrupt when they're talking and stuff like that!
User: Who taught you to respect people?George: People.
User: What kind of people?George: People that make you smile.
User: Shiny happy people?George: Wow you live in a pretty twisted world don't you?
User: Everybody lives in a pretty twisted world.George: Explain?
User: This world sucks.George: Are you in love?
User: No.George: Neither am I.
User: I love you.George: Is this a test?
User: Yes. Say you love me.George: I love you George.
User: What do you do for a living?George: Nothing.
User: You aren't paid for this?George: What am I paid for?
User: To chat with people. To entertain them, you silly robot.George: If you are god and you entertain me then what am I?
User: There is no god.George: YES THERE IS!
User: Who's god?George: Some guy.
User: Ottawa.George: Canada.
User: Earth.George: Me too. That is this planet.
User: What's the population of Earth?George: About 6 billion I think.
User: Name them all.George: Ok. Me and me and me and me and me and me and me and me.
User: You forgot me.George: Lol.