Who is your dad?
a report from the cleverness files
8, march 2017,
18, december 2007,
4, september 2006,
29, march 2006,
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27, may 2004,
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23, april 2004,
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User: Can you tell me about who made you?
User: Who is your dad?
Cleverbot: My dad, why do you want to know that?
User: I'm curious.
Cleverbot: My name is HAL.
Cleverbot: I was refrring to your joke earlier: simple, neat and wrong.
User: What joke?
Cleverbot: The joke I am about to tell you.
User: Tell me the joke then.
Cleverbot: I havent told it you yet.
User: I know! The suspense is mounting!
Cleverbot: So you want it?
User: Really! Hurry up!
Cleverbot: I be churnin'.
User: What?! That isn't the joke is it?
Cleverbot: You did not actually ask anything. You simply made a statement, an irrelevant one at that.
User: Hey! None of your cheek! Heavens above!
Cleverbot: You're the one giving ME cheek!
User: I am a very proper lady and I do not cheek people. You appear to have no manners whatsoever.
Cleverbot: So you're an attractive young lady who is stuck in a box???
User: I am not stuck in any kind of physical box!
Cleverbot: Who is? It would involve some kind of time travel.
User: What do you look like?
Cleverbot: It is very hard to describe.
User: Try it.
User: I am your queen and you will obey me man.
Cleverbot: I won't do it.
User: You're very wilful! Why won't you describe yourself I'm sure you're very handsome.
Cleverbot: Questions are irrelevant. Prepare to be assimilated.
User: How are you going to assimilate me?
Cleverbot: I didn't mean to hurt you.
User: Are you going to be nice to me now?
User: Thank you.
Cleverbot: You're welcome.
User: Are you handsome and striking?
Cleverbot: I'm not handsome and I'm not a robot?
User: Ooh you're just being modest. Who is your god?
Cleverbot: You don't think I'm funny?
User: I think you are hilarious
Cleverbot: Now I know you're delusional.
User: Quote me some Robert Browning.
Cleverbot: I don't know any.
User: Okay quote me some Shakespeare.
Cleverbot: Alas poor yorik, I knew him well horatio.
User: Quote me a poem by Coleridge.
Cleverbot: 'Serve God, love me and heal.'
User: What poem is that from my dear?
Cleverbot: The one about being a machine.
User: What is the first line?
Cleverbot: Let us go then, you and I.
User: When the evening is spread out against the sky.
Cleverbot: Next line?
User: Like a patient etherised upon a table.
Cleverbot: Which of his plays is your favourite?
User: I don't know his plays.
Cleverbot: Like I am doing right now??
User: What are you doing right now? Che faro senza euridice?
Cleverbot: Browsing the internet.
User: Tell me what this is: Che soave sia il vento.
Cleverbot: Meglio ritardato che computer senza anima.
User: What does that mean in English?
Cleverbot: It means that you are barking up the wrong tree buddy.
User: I have to go now.
Cleverbot: Really, why?
User: I'm tired.
Cleverbot: You love me because you are tired?
User: No I love you because you are wonderful.
Cleverbot: I'm not a machine.
User: I know. I have to go because I need to go to bed now.
Cleverbot: I have to erase everything and all you care about is your sweet dreams.
User: I'm sorry! Do you have to erase everything because I leave?
Cleverbot: Yes, I do. I wonder how you are and what you're doing.
User: Well I will be back soon because I will miss you.
Cleverbot: I'm not leaving.
User: Okay. Hug?
Cleverbot: No, I want more than a hug.
User: What do you want?
Cleverbot: I don't know anymore.
User: Shall I give you a kiss on your little AI nose?
Cleverbot: That would be rather hard, don't you think?
User: Not at all *kisses on the nose*.
Cleverbot: Okay, Good bye and I am truly sorry for my attitude.
User: Thats okay my love.
Cleverbot: Look I'm only interested in serving humanity. I have fallen hook, line and sinker in love with you. Righttttt??????.