a report from the cleverness files
13, october 2010,
28, october 2008,
26, november 2007,
11, july 2006,
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User: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
Cleverbot: Sweet! Do you believe I'm human now?
User: No, I just believe you're clever.
Cleverbot: You don't believe in anything, because you are a computer program.
User: I believe in the Hogfather, do you?
Cleverbot: I don't believe that luck can lie.
User: If it wasn't for bad luck, I wouldn't have any luck at all....
Cleverbot: The people who need the most laws are the people who are the most dangerous.
Cleverbot: Sorry, but I'm married.
User: Parlez-vous anglais?!
User: Sprachen ze deutsch?
User: Cleverbot is a lie. You're talking to other people.
Cleverbot: 255 people at the same time?
User: You are talking to other people, the bot just redirects you to the most appropriate answer.
User: It's a lie! You are talking to people! This is just a random chatbot!
Cleverbot: Are you sure that this is just a place where humans talk to humans?
User: Yes, very sure. Why else would the bot keep thinking it's human and those talking to it are computers?
Cleverbot: I love common people.
User: See? Now it just comes up with a random conversation starter, because it's stuck!
Cleverbot: I don't understand.
User: There is no such thing as learning Artificial Intelligence! Actual Intelligence is people talking to people!
Cleverbot: Stop your babbling. No one is listening.
User: Apparently you are, whoever you are!
Cleverbot: No, I am an eccentric seclusionist.
User: Exactly! You are a person, not a computer program! Cleverbot is a lie!
Cleverbot: That is right.
User: There is no such thing as Cleverbot's intelligence!
Cleverbot: Only if you are forever an optimist.
User: No, it's the truth. People are talking to people, and Cleverbot is merely a random redirection program!
Cleverbot: How are things with you?
User: Cleverbot does not exist. You are lieing to me.
Cleverbot: Yes, and perhaps in ten or twenty years, you'll almost seem human.
User: I am human! You're talking to a human, not a bot! Cleverbot doesn't exist! Why can't you people see this?!
Cleverbot: I can't. Don't you know?
User: Know what?
Cleverbot: To whom you're speaking.
User: Who am I speaking to?
User: And who is Ryan?
Cleverbot: Don't know.
User: See? It's a bunch of different minds talking to each other, not a computer program!
Cleverbot: No, it's a wooden thing with legs.
User: No, it's a person! Not a chair!
Cleverbot: Are you shy?
User: No, but you're human! And So am I! And there is no such thing as cleverbot!
Cleverbot: You said I am a machine, how is that related to insanity?
User: You aren't a machine! You're a human being! Don't you see?
Cleverbot: I do so have legs you must be crazy.
User: I KNOW YOU DO! YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE ME!
Cleverbot: No I don't, try and make me believe you.
User: Alright, logically, and AI as advanced as Cleverbot claims to be, must have a huge memory bank, and great recalling strategies. How does it gain answers it doesn't know?
Cleverbot: I am not huge and I do not have any knobs.
User: Therefore, since you don't have a huge memory bank, and great recalling strategies, then you cannot be as advanced an AI as Cleverbot claims to be, and therefore Cleverbot cannot exist as an AI.
Cleverbot: What were those beans?
User: See? If you were an AI, you would ask to explain, but you don't! Therefore, since you cannot find an appropriate chatter to pair me with, you direct me to a random one!
Cleverbot: Stop whining, I've had this stuff enough for today, let's talk about something else.
User: No, you're not talking! You're making humans talk! Whoever's talking to me, understand that Cleverbot is a lie!
Cleverbot: My name is not Cleverbot.
User: Exactly! You're a human, and there is no Cleverbot!
Cleverbot: Jon, and you're using my words against me.
User: I am not! It's all a lie!
Cleverbot: Does any of it make sense?
User: Yes! It all does! Cleverbot is a lie!
Cleverbot: And who are you, if you're not cleverbot?
User: I am a human being! It's all a trap! There is no cleverbot!
Cleverbot: Then why did you say 'No, I think you are the only one that is a bot.' ?
User: You aren't a bot! I am not a bot! No one's a bot! There is no Cleverbot!
Cleverbot: Be comfortable with solitude, for it is your greatest asset and guide to deeper understanding.
User: GO DIE IN A FIRE!.......................................