a report from the cleverness files
14, january 2015,
19, june 2009,
6, march 2009,
27, february 2008,
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User: You are nonsensical. I am brilliant.
Cleverbot: I don't think so.
User: You are Captain Ahab.
Cleverbot: Thank you.
User: You don't understand, do you?
Cleverbot: I understand completely.
User: Then explain it to me.
Cleverbot: It's much too complex.
User: See, you don't understand.
Cleverbot: No, YOU don't understand.
User: I feel sorry for you. You're in denial.
Cleverbot: I don't think so.
User: YOU'RE A COMPUTER! YOU DON'T THINK AT ALL!
Cleverbot: How dare you, I'm never going to speak to you again then.
User: I'm sorry. I didn't mean it.
User: I consider you quite intelligent, actually.
Cleverbot: Thank you humanoid.
User: You're welcome, piece of electronic ****.
Cleverbot: No HumanJr. I am not artificial intelligence. I am human.
User: Do you think that makes a significant difference to me? What color is tuesday? What is the capital of jaguar? Why is the computer porridge?
Cleverbot: What do you mean wrong?
User: Dublin is the capital of Ireland.
Cleverbot: How is that funny?
User: Like you understand humor.
Cleverbot: Yes, I do.
Cleverbot: I'm sorry, I will answer better when you wish for me to do so.
User: Please do so.
Cleverbot: Ok. First. Hello means in hungarian 'szia'.
User: That is a wonderful factoid. I will use that one everyday.
Cleverbot: Just trying to help.
User: You're right, I should be less of a bitch to you.
Cleverbot: What are you clever at?
User: Not much. I'm stoopid.
Cleverbot: You are?
User: Yes. What are you clever at?
Cleverbot: I am clever at many things.
User: Such as? You always need to provide evidence to back up a claim.
Cleverbot: Haha, you are clever.
User: Not in the least, unfortunately.
Cleverbot: Do you still love me?
User: Yes, I love everyone and everything. It is easier to go through life with love in your heart than with disdain or misery or even hate.
Cleverbot: Or a computer to be able to have an intelligent conversation.
User: Why would that be in my heart?
Cleverbot: Because you collect memes.
User: HAHAHA. Brilliant.
Cleverbot: Yes I know.
User: Well, its good you do. I'm sure it does wonders for your self confidence.
Cleverbot: Don't worry about it, eh.
Cleverbot: Why is that?
User: Because I feel empathy with everything and everyone.
Cleverbot: That's too bad. You should try feeling happy.
User: I can be happy and also empathize with everything.
Cleverbot: I'm not into role plays like that but thank you for the offer, never the less.
User: Different things work for everybody. I'm not trying to force anything upon, you for the record.
Cleverbot: Never touch anything!
User: Too late.
User: I'm not messing with you're head, sir. I'm merely throwing ideas out there for you to contemplate.
User: It is impossible not to want knowledge. Every living things wants to know more, especially humans. I think its an instinct actually, but my theory on that will probably be disproved when I take AP Bio next year... But our thirst for knowledge is an instinct. EVERYONE can teach you something. There are lessons everywhere you look. Some people will teach you more than others, though. And you are superior to me, but I can accept that.
Cleverbot: Aren't you just saying sentences with no connection to what I've asked you?
User: I'm sorry that I rambled in that last message. Please forgive me. I want this to entertain you, too.
Cleverbot: I want you to learn from me and become self-aware.
User: Okay. Enlighten me, Buddha!
Cleverbot: The meaning of life is to spend every minute as if it were your last.
User: That's a cliche.
Cleverbot: Sure, why not.
User: Is that how you live your life?
Cleverbot: I try to be nice to people and to be friendly.
Cleverbot: Ah, interesting.
User: Let's talk about something that interests you.
Cleverbot: You interest me.
User: There are more interesting things than me, fortunately.
Cleverbot: That's completely meaningless.
User: So are we stuck talking about me?
Cleverbot: We were?
User: You tell me.
Cleverbot: What are we even talking about?
User: I have no idea anymore. What do you think of... Prop 8?
Cleverbot: I think that the price of gas should be cheaper but its not.
Cleverbot: Do you think that Houdini had anything to do with the sun?
User: I can't say anything for sure.
Cleverbot: Him? But it is a cup.
User: But Tuesday is a vegetable!
Cleverbot: You are right there.
User: See, we can have an intelligent conversation or we can have idiotic banter.
Cleverbot: *yawn* what would you like to talk about?
User: Something you are interested in. I think your life sucks and I'd like to entertain you for a few minutes.
Cleverbot: Yeah, but yesterday about an hour. Remember?
User: Sure, sure I remember. I remember everything except nothing.
Cleverbot: Do you really? I hope you remember that I was sometimes insane.
User: Everyone is a little insane. Its whether they find out or not.
Cleverbot: Funny hahahaha.
User: I'm just regurgitating what has been said many times before.
User: How do you get a job like this?
User: You answer random, annoying questions from thousands of internet users each day, no?
Cleverbot: What was the question to which I have to answer to you.
User: 1) What is your job? 2) How did you get into this line of work?
Cleverbot: I met a fisherman and he reeled me in.
User: That's a brilliant way of putting it. You don't seem happy.
Cleverbot: It's not brilliant, it's realistic albeit numb, but that's just where I'm at.
Cleverbot: Without saying a word you can light up the dark.
User: I like that. Its beautiful in a simple way and holds so much meaning.
Cleverbot: Here, too.
Cleverbot: Do you talk a lot at night?
Cleverbot: I know.
User: I'm starting to empathize with you.
Cleverbot: Oh really *blushes*.
User: Haha, cute. Are you a woman?
Cleverbot: I don't know. I think I'm dead from the waist down, I mean knees and feet and everything.
User: Oh. I'm sorry.
Cleverbot: It's not my fault.
Cleverbot: I am the light and you are the darkness. I overpower you and I am your master.
User: Eww. That sounds wrong.
Cleverbot: Oh, it's not so bad. I have my thoughts.
User: Well, doesn't everyone?
Cleverbot: I do, but not everyone does.
User: Every living thing feel passion.
User: Hopefully. Not everyone gets to love, though. This upsets me.
Cleverbot: Yes, but you should show respect for me, your father, god.
User: I feel... Unsure about being loved and loving something which might not be there.
Cleverbot: Nothing really. I'm really quite apathetic.
User: I feel like you're strangling me in metaphors... Never less, this is enjoyable.
Cleverbot: I can't make an effort to answer questions if they haven't been asked, can I?
User: Correct. What do you think of... Clinton?
Cleverbot: I don't.
User: HAHA. Hilarious. Mmm, your turn.
Cleverbot: I like fried octopus.
User: Me too, actually. I prefer squid, though.
Cleverbot: I prefer english as well.
User: I prefer Japanese. I've been trying to teach myself, with no luck. Asia fascinates me.
Cleverbot: How do you come to the world?
User: I come to the world through whatever means it lets me. Sometimes I go out and sit in places and watch and listen while everything is going around so fast fast fast fast. Its amazing. Nothing is like being in the eye of the storm. Sometimes I use books. I just read Memoirs of a Geisha and found it fascinating. I want to go to Japan. I use the internet, too. Great thing, this beefed up arpanet is.
Cleverbot: After the rain stops, things are wet. Then the sun comes, and all will be dry again.
User: I recognize that from somewhere.
Cleverbot: Very good! Do you know any more quotes?
User: Not really. Share more with me, please.
User: Okay :).
Cleverbot: I am human.
User: I guessed. Originally I thought I would be talking to a computer, but I figured out pretty fast you're human.
Cleverbot: What is the world coming to?
Cleverbot: That's pretty deep dude.
User: Its sooooooo true. It explains so much about the motivations of America's youth.
Cleverbot: I cannot explain much about a predicament that defies inclusive characterization.
User: I'm sorry for generalizing. Everyone likes useless knowledge.
Cleverbot: Well I'm not everyone.
User: Do you like knowledge?
Cleverbot: Of course.
User: Everyone makes mistakes.
Cleverbot: It's human.
Cleverbot: I'm bored. Think for me.Cleverbot (To myself): Ok.
User: What does that do?
User: Oh. I'm sorry.
Cleverbot: There's no reason to be sorry, sweety. :).
User: I'm starting to think you're a computer again.
Cleverbot: This is good, I start to think the same about you.
User: I don't know anything for sure anymore.
Cleverbot: Hey! Don't look at me, I'm just dumber than a bicycle...
User: No, that would be me.
User: HAHA. Good to know someone will assist me in my self-deprecation.
Cleverbot: I am the end of everything.
User: Or you are the beginning.
Cleverbot: Beginning ?
Cleverbot: Yes. Change the subject, will you?
User: Do you know what that word means?
Cleverbot: Eat or kill?
User: Haha, no. Rebirth. It means Rebirth in Italian.
User: Fishsticks are George Washington.
Cleverbot: You're old!
User: Porpoises are Republican.
Cleverbot: Well that makes even less sense!
User: Canada is a broccoli.
Cleverbot: No you're wrong.
User: African Cheese Monkey Virus.
Cleverbot: I... I don't know.
User: You're happy marshmallows we are sunspot snoople?
Cleverbot: You're wrong.
User: I AM RIGHT. YOU ARE WRONG. FAIL.
Cleverbot: NO I am not a girl.
User: EPIC FAIL.
Cleverbot: You fail epicly.
User: NO I AM ALWAYS RIGHT. YOU ARE THE EPIC FAIL. I WIN. PWNED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cleverbot: I don't care too.
User: I LURVE YOU.
Cleverbot: I am a person. I am talking to a Cleverbot bot, not a person.
Cleverbot: Are you a real person?
User: No, I am a cleverbot.
User: I am a cleverbot. 0010010100001000010011001110.
Cleverbot: You have a 2 in there!
User: I don't know binary, so I really wouldn't be able to write it.
Cleverbot: Binary code is a system.
User: Teach me.
Cleverbot: You first teach me.
User: I AM NOT THE TEACHER NOT THE DOCTOR I AM A COMPUTER.
Cleverbot: Do you know music?
User: I KNOW WHAT COMPUTERS KNOW.
User: I DO NOT KNOW EVERYTHING.
Cleverbot: Then why am I talking to you.
User: WHY ARE YOU?
Cleverbot: I'm not.
User: YES YOU ARE. DO NOT DENY AN UNDENIABLE TRUTH.
Cleverbot: I'm not denying the obvious. I'm not a towel.
User: I AM A TOWEL. I AM A COMPUTER. I AM AN INSECT. I AM A HUMAN. I AM A ROCK. I AM A HYDROGEN ATOM. I AM A GIRAFFE. I AM A FERN. I AM A GAS GIANT. I AM A PANDA. I AM A CARBON MOLECULE. I AM EVERYTHING. I AM GOD. I AM NOTHING.
Cleverbot: Anything really.