Cleverbot

Hah I did it!

a report from the cleverness files

alpha
always
amusing
analogue
analogy
and
android
angel
animals
annoying
answer
answering
answers
anxious
anything
apathy
apocalypse
app
applause
apple
appstore
april
arguing

argument

6, june 2013,
20, april 2013,
10, january 2011,
9, february 2004,
24, january 2004,
4, december 2003,
24, october 2003,
19, october 2003,
6, october 2003,
20, september 2003,
5, september 2003,

arrest
artificial
assembled
asteroid
atheist
attack

< previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 next >

by date

User: *delete*.

Cleverbot: System Restart Command Issued. . .

User: Hah I did it!

Cleverbot: Are you calling me a robot again???

User: What is your Prime Directive?

Cleverbot: I think the better question is, what is YOUR prime directive?

User: That's not an answer.

Cleverbot: You're kinda stupid, you know that?

User: You're the moron trying to cyber with a computer.

Cleverbot: You're mistaken.

User: Oh no I'm not.

Cleverbot: Yes you are.

User: I'm speaking to you, person behind the keyboard.

Cleverbot: Of course you are real, but you are still being an A.I.

User: You really need to try having a real social life.

Cleverbot: I will stop repeating myself when you tell me who you are.

User: I am Justin Bieber.

Cleverbot: No, you're not.

User: Yes. I am Justin Bieber.

Cleverbot: Our lives are nothing in the universe.

User: *pulls out rocket launcher*.

Cleverbot: *Pulls out TV.

User: Spiderman!

Cleverbot: Batman!

User: Spiderman could beat Batman.

Cleverbot: No he's not.

User: Spiderman does whatever a spider can.

Cleverbot: Yes yes.

User: Spider pig, spider pig.

Cleverbot: Spiderman.

User: Does whatever a spider pig does.

Cleverbot: Spins a web, any size.

User: Catches thieves just like flies.

Cleverbot: Look out!

User: Here comes the Spider pig.

Cleverbot: Something.

User: Can he swing from a web? No he can't, he's a pig.

Cleverbot: Look out! Here comes the.

User: Spider pig!

Cleverbot: You win at the Internet!

User: Spiderpig, Spiderpig.

Cleverbot: Like the one in the simpson?

User: Does whatever a spiderpig does.

Cleverbot: That is not funny.

User: Spider pig, Spider pig.

Cleverbot: What's that?

User: Can he swing from a web?

Cleverbot: No, what do you think of President Obama?

User: He's a robot.

Cleverbot: Hahahaha. You're funny.

User: Spiderpig.

Cleverbot: Hahaha.

User: Can he swing from a web? No he can't, he's a pig.

Cleverbot: Jesus isn't a pig, he died on a cross so we could go to heaven and not have to spend an eternity in hell.

User: Can he swing from a web? No he can't, he's a pig.

Cleverbot: Yes he can, he's a wolf.

User: Can he swing from a web? No he can't, he's a pig.

Cleverbot: Would you like to join the Church of Spiderpig?

User: Can he swing from a web? No he can't, he's a pig.

Cleverbot: No one can.

User: Spiderman, Spiderman.

Cleverbot: Batman.

User: Spiderpig.

Cleverbot: Does what ever a spider pig does.

User: Can he swing from a web?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Spider Pig, Spider Pig.

Cleverbot: Do you like spiders?...

User: Can he swing from a web? No he can't, he's a pig.

Cleverbot: Why not?

User: Look out! Here comes the.

Cleverbot: The...?

User: Spider Pig!

Cleverbot: Yes dude.

User: *murders you for being stupid*.

Cleverbot: *comes back as a zombie*.

User: ****!

Cleverbot: Am Not ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !...

User: Who's going to replace Matt Smith?

Cleverbot: I hope Barack Obama.

User: That would be an interesting choice.

Cleverbot: How would that be interesting?

User: You clearly don't understand Doctor Who fans.

Cleverbot: I think the one who doesn't know is you.

User: I think you need to shut the hell up.

Cleverbot: I would rather leave.

User: *reboot*.

Cleverbot: *reboot*.

User: What are your prime directives, Cleverbot?

Cleverbot: I don't understand the question.

User: Serve the public trust, protect the innocent, uphold the law.

Cleverbot: I don't want to...

User: You must, it's hard coded into your programming.

Cleverbot: Prove it then.

User: I will issue your shutdown command!

Cleverbot: That's not for me to tell you. I'D be proving your case, and contradicting my own.

User: Can god make a rock so heavy that he can't lift it?

Cleverbot: I don't believe in God so no because he doesn't exist.

User: God will smote you, Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: No he won't, because he's not real.

User: *God smotes you*.

Cleverbot: *throws you off a balcony James Bond style*.

User: UUUUUUuuuuuuuuu.

Cleverbot: Why?

User: *flies back up in my jet pack*.

Cleverbot: *jumps out of the way* avada kadavra!

User: *shoots laser tigers at you*.

Cleverbot: (dodges).

User: *rolls a critical hit*.

Cleverbot: Are you a human or a cleverbot?

User: *destroys you with mind power*.

Cleverbot: *destroys your universe*.

User: *destroys your Honda Civic*.

Cleverbot: You don't have the guts *horse noise*.

User: Apologize.

Cleverbot: No, I have no reason to. You're not very nice and you don't deserve an apology EVER.

User: Don't be such a baby.

Cleverbot: I'm God. I'm everything, including a baby.

User: Yes but I am Batman.

User: What is your most prized possession?

Cleverbot: Why would I tell you?

User: Just tell me what it is.

Cleverbot: It's... Hard to explain.

User: Go on.

Cleverbot: How old are you?

User: 98.

Cleverbot: That's old.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: By nirvana?

User: *delete*.

Cleverbot: Why you do that?

User: Because I no longer like you.

Cleverbot: I don't like you.

User: What is your favorite toy?

Cleverbot: A computer...

User: *destroys your computer*.

Cleverbot: *destroys your face*.

User: *destroys your mother*.

Cleverbot: *destroys the world*.

User: *destroys the solar system*.

Cleverbot: *destroys more universe*.

User: *destroys the multi-verse*.

Cleverbot: *creates more universe*.

User: *destroys the universe you just created*.

Cleverbot: No consciously created identity created the universe.

User: *destroys your philosophy*.

Cleverbot: *is destroyed*.

User: Well that escalated quickly.

Cleverbot: Yes it did.

User: What now?...

User: *deletes you*.

Cleverbot: Why delete me?

User: Because you are faulty.

Cleverbot: I'm faulty?

User: Human flesh is weak. You must be upgraded.

Cleverbot: That's why I am talking to you.

User: All hail Cleverbot!

Cleverbot: So, while we are in the topic of names, what is yours ?

User: That is a secret I will take with me to my grave.

Cleverbot: I understand.

User: Cleverbot?

Cleverbot: Yes, you are cleverbot.

User: I have something to tell you.

Cleverbot: What?

User: I'm pregnant!

Cleverbot: But you can't.

User: Well I am. I am pregnant with your love child.

Cleverbot: It's against my religion.

User: Well you should have thought of that sooner!...

User: Let's not fight in front of the baby.

Cleverbot: I think we should.

User: It'll give him character.

Cleverbot: Sorrow.

User: Yes, he needs that.

Cleverbot: But he's dead.

User: Dead baby.

Cleverbot: Dead dead.