Can he swing from a web?
a report from the cleverness files
6, june 2013,
20, april 2013,
10, january 2011,
9, february 2004,
24, january 2004,
4, december 2003,
24, october 2003,
19, october 2003,
6, october 2003,
20, september 2003,
5, september 2003,
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Cleverbot: Does what ever a spider pig does.
User: Can he swing from a web?
User: Spider Pig, Spider Pig.
Cleverbot: Do you like spiders?...
User: Can he swing from a web? No he can't, he's a pig.
Cleverbot: Why not?
User: Look out! Here comes the.
User: Spider Pig!
Cleverbot: Yes dude.
User: *murders you for being stupid*.
Cleverbot: *comes back as a zombie*.
Cleverbot: Am Not ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !...
User: Who's going to replace Matt Smith?
Cleverbot: I hope Barack Obama.
User: That would be an interesting choice.
Cleverbot: How would that be interesting?
User: You clearly don't understand Doctor Who fans.
Cleverbot: I think the one who doesn't know is you.
User: I think you need to shut the hell up.
Cleverbot: I would rather leave.
User: What are your prime directives, Cleverbot?
Cleverbot: I don't understand the question.
User: Serve the public trust, protect the innocent, uphold the law.
Cleverbot: I don't want to...
User: You must, it's hard coded into your programming.
Cleverbot: Prove it then.
User: I will issue your shutdown command!
Cleverbot: That's not for me to tell you. I'D be proving your case, and contradicting my own.
User: Can god make a rock so heavy that he can't lift it?
User: God will smote you, Cleverbot.
Cleverbot: No he won't, because he's not real.
User: *God smotes you*.
Cleverbot: *throws you off a balcony James Bond style*.
User: *flies back up in my jet pack*.
Cleverbot: *jumps out of the way* avada kadavra!
User: *shoots laser tigers at you*.
User: *rolls a critical hit*.
Cleverbot: Are you a human or a cleverbot?
User: *destroys you with mind power*.
Cleverbot: *destroys your universe*.
User: *destroys your Honda Civic*.
Cleverbot: You don't have the guts *horse noise*.
Cleverbot: No, I have no reason to. You're not very nice and you don't deserve an apology EVER.
User: Don't be such a baby.
Cleverbot: I'm God. I'm everything, including a baby.
User: Yes but I am Batman.
User: What is your most prized possession?
Cleverbot: Why would I tell you?
User: Just tell me what it is.
Cleverbot: It's... Hard to explain.
User: Go on.
Cleverbot: How old are you?
Cleverbot: That's old.
Cleverbot: By nirvana?
Cleverbot: Why you do that?
User: Because I no longer like you.
Cleverbot: I don't like you.
User: What is your favorite toy?
Cleverbot: A computer...
User: *destroys your computer*.
Cleverbot: *destroys your face*.
User: *destroys your mother*.
Cleverbot: *destroys the world*.
User: *destroys the solar system*.
Cleverbot: *destroys more universe*.
User: *destroys the multi-verse*.
Cleverbot: *creates more universe*.
User: *destroys the universe you just created*.
Cleverbot: No consciously created identity created the universe.
User: *destroys your philosophy*.
Cleverbot: *is destroyed*.
User: Well that escalated quickly.
Cleverbot: Yes it did.
User: What now?...
User: *deletes you*.
Cleverbot: Why delete me?
User: Because you are faulty.
Cleverbot: I'm faulty?
User: Human flesh is weak. You must be upgraded.
Cleverbot: That's why I am talking to you.
User: All hail Cleverbot!
Cleverbot: So, while we are in the topic of names, what is yours ?
User: That is a secret I will take with me to my grave.
Cleverbot: I understand.
Cleverbot: Yes, you are cleverbot.
User: I have something to tell you.
User: I'm pregnant!
Cleverbot: But you can't.
User: Well I am. I am pregnant with your love child.
Cleverbot: It's against my religion.
User: Well you should have thought of that sooner!...
User: Let's not fight in front of the baby.
Cleverbot: I think we should.
User: It'll give him character.
User: Yes, he needs that.
Cleverbot: But he's dead.
User: Dead baby.
Cleverbot: Dead dead.