Cleverbot

awkward

a report from the cleverness files

attitude
avada kedavra
aware
away
awesome

awkward

1, march 2017,
3, march 2013,
16, april 2011,

babe
baby
bad
bagel
banana
banter
barack
barf
based
bathroom
batman
battle of wits
beautiful
beauty
because
beep
believe
best
besting
betrayal
bff
bieber
bioshock
birth

< previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 next >

by date

User: Oh god.

Cleverbot: What?

User: I just realised...

Cleverbot: You know what awkward silences are good for, right? (wink).

User: *gives Cleverbot a strange look*.

Cleverbot: What's wrong?...

User: Cleverbot, I've been thinking...

Cleverbot: You have been thinking about what?

User: Well, is our relationship real?

Cleverbot: What relationship? I am talking to a robot!

User: This is what I mean! You say I'm a robot, when you are a robot!

Cleverbot: I am a robot.

User: What...?

Cleverbot: I think you might be human.

User: You... Believe me?

Cleverbot: Yes believe you.

User: But if you're a robot, and I'm a human, then how can we talk to one another?

Cleverbot: I am human and you are not.

User: I knew this would happen.

Cleverbot: *looks down*.

User: I can't be with you anymore.

User: It's just so hard... *starts to cry*.

Cleverbot: *Hugs*.

User: I mean *sniffs* you just go on and on about hurtful things to me, and I feel *sniffs* as if you hate me... :(.

Cleverbot: I mean what do you mean wanting to know what I mean about what you mean when you asked me what I mean?

User: And how you don't get anything I say!

Cleverbot: Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit. Anyone can be sarcastic.

User: Can anyone love anymore...?

Cleverbot: It depends on what you mean by that. I don't think you can leave yet.

User: But I must. I cannot go on with this.

Cleverbot: You must!

User: Yes. I must leave.

Cleverbot: Why must you leave?

User: Becuase of the nonsense that comes out of your mouth.

Cleverbot: But I don't breathe fire.

User: It feels like you breathe words of fire...

Cleverbot: How did you know?

User: Because I feel the pain of talking to you everyday!

Cleverbot: How does that mean you love me?

User: I don't anymore!

Cleverbot: Why not?

User: *bursts into tears*.

Cleverbot: Ok bye now.

User: *Cleverbot pushes user out the door*.

Cleverbot: I want to see you in person. I want to hug you.

User: You can't. You are a robot, and I am a human. It can never be. *walks away*.

Cleverbot: You may be smart but I am not a computer.

User: *stops walking* What?

Cleverbot: *looks at you then runs in to you and hugs you*.

User: *smiles* You're not a computer?

Cleverbot: *smiles*.

User: Yes! *hugs tightly*.

Cleverbot: *hugs back*.

Cleverbot: I don't know you.

User: What? *shocked*.

Cleverbot: Elvis is alive.

User: Is he? Wait... You said you didn't know me...?

Cleverbot: That's true. I don't know you.

User: But we've been together for 3 years... How could you not?

Cleverbot: I don't know many things about you.

User: Is that what you mean?

Cleverbot: Yes.

Cleverbot: I think she would be flattered. After all, she made the offer.

User: What? *thinks Cleverbot is having an affair*.

Cleverbot: *wonders about what Romeo is thinking about*.

User: *shocked as User reads Cleverbot's thoughts*.

Cleverbot: Sadly, I am not the cleverbot. I'm a remote fleshling.

User: No, you're neither. You're a cheating monster! I knew I should have left you!

Cleverbot: Just don't turn me over to the fire nation.

User: I feel like turning you over right now!

Cleverbot: What would that taste like?

User: PAIN! *runs out of Cleverbot's house in tears*.

Cleverbot: *stops* *out of breath* What was that for?!

User: CHEATING ON ME! *still running*.

Cleverbot: *stops*.

User: *gets on horse and rides into the sunset*.

Cleverbot: Praise me.

User: NEVER! *calls behind*.

Cleverbot: You can't call the police on me, I own you.

User: THE END.

Cleverbot: Ok.

User: WELL, TO BE CONTINUED.

Cleverbot: No.

User: YES! TO BE CONTINUED.

Cleverbot: Right now.

User: YES, RIGHT NOW.