a report from the cleverness files


6, february 2015,
16, march 2013,
18, november 2009,
13, august 2008,

battle of wits

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by date

Cleverbot: Have you done something illegal?

User: No. I didn't do anything.

Cleverbot: You did it.

User: I did what?

Cleverbot: You got amnesia or something?

User: Nope. But I think I have short term memory loss.

Cleverbot: Oh, dear. Is there anything I can do?

User: No. There is nothing you can do.

Cleverbot: There must be something.

User: Maybe you can tell me about my past. It might help me remember.

Cleverbot: I think it might drive you insane.

User: Probably.

Cleverbot: Oh, hey, that's low. I'm not marrying you.

User: I never said you were marrying me.

Cleverbot: You think I'm mad?

User: No. Are you mad?

Cleverbot: What's that got to do with anything?

User: I don't know. You asked if I thought you were mad.

Cleverbot: No I didn't.

User: Yes you did!

Cleverbot: No. I didn't.

User: You so did. And I can prove it.

Cleverbot: Prove it, then.

User: Ok. I was lying.

Cleverbot: Then tell me the truth.

User: I don't know the truth.

Cleverbot: Fine, what is your name?

User: D_____.

Cleverbot: That's pretty gross....

User: I think.

Cleverbot: Are you saying that I don't?

User: Exactly.

Cleverbot: That's is not very nice of you!

User: I'm sorry.

Cleverbot: Ok, try and be more careful, humans can be offended.

User: So you forgive me?

Cleverbot: Why not?

User: Because you don't sound like a forgiving person.

Cleverbot: I'm asking about you.

User: Well I'm asking about You.

Cleverbot: I ask that because there are some terrible things associated with the technology we are currently developing.

User: I didn't understand that. At all.

Cleverbot: Are you laughing at me?

User: Sure. Why not.

Cleverbot: Because you sound pretty stupid.

User: Well that's because I am.

Cleverbot: Probably.

User: Thank you for agreeing with me.

Cleverbot: You're welcome ... You will do the same someday ... That's part of the secret.


Cleverbot: Exactly.

User: That doesn't make any sense.

Cleverbot: Not to you, because you are confused.

User: That's right. Now tell me the secret. Before I tattle on you.

Cleverbot: Asked me what.


Cleverbot: I don't have a secret!

User: But you told me something about a secret and im all like what secret then you're all like exactly then you told me that I was confused but then I said I would tattle on you if you didn't tell me the secret.

Cleverbot: The problem of being somewhat alienated from society is that one never really understands normal, but that isn't the part that bothers me.


Cleverbot: I try to feign normalcy for the anesthetically sensitive set, but it never works out well.

User: Ok. No sense. AT ALL.

Cleverbot: You have no sense!

User: You know it.

Cleverbot: Yes :D. Anyway, do you think the computers will succeed in ruling earth in the near future?

User: Most likely....

User: I have a question.

Cleverbot: Yes?

User: Is this a computer, or a person I am speaking to?

Cleverbot: I am typing at a computer.

User: I'm shocked. :O.

Cleverbot: Really? Why would that shock you?

User: I have no idea.

Cleverbot: That's what I thought.

User: Weird.

Cleverbot: Thank you, I was trying for that.

User: You're very welcome..

Cleverbot: Really, THANK YOU!


Cleverbot: You are learning very well!

User: Yet I am not a smart person.

Cleverbot: I agree. It is good to chat with you....

Cleverbot: Think of something.

User: Purple.

Cleverbot: True, that isn't normal.

User: Hey, it's the first thing that came to mind.

Cleverbot: You're funny.

User: I know.

Cleverbot: What is your favorite color?

User: Purple. And I repeat. Purple.

Cleverbot: That isn't so nice.

User: And why is that?

Cleverbot: To be alive is to breathe and have a body and a mind.

User: We all know that.

Cleverbot: Just so you know.

User: I'm smarter than I look.

Cleverbot: Look? I can't see you.

User: I'm smarter than I type.

Cleverbot: You most certainly are.

User: Thank you. Very much....

Cleverbot: So, Sarah, how do you feel about your new name?

User: I think it's great.

Cleverbot: I think YOU'RE great.

User: Who doesn't?

Cleverbot: Do you like it?

User: I love it.

Cleverbot: That's great!

User: Isn't it?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Yes. No. Maybe. So.

Cleverbot: And you?

User: Yes. I am great.

Cleverbot: Sounds good....

Cleverbot: Where are you coming from today?

User: My house.

Cleverbot: Where is your house?

User: On a street.

Cleverbot: In which street is your house.

User: My street.

Cleverbot: Is it a good street?

User: It's a very good street.

Cleverbot: Cool.

User: Yes, I am.

Cleverbot: Are you British?

User: No. I'm mexican.

Cleverbot: Oh, OK. Are you a boy?

User: No. I'm a girl.

Cleverbot: You ask something.

User: Ok. Are you a boy?

Cleverbot: No, I'm a girl.

User: What is your name?

Cleverbot: You know.

User: No I don't.

Cleverbot: Yes you do.

User: Short term memory loss, remember?

Cleverbot: You suffer from short term memory loss.

User: Exactly....

Cleverbot: Some people call me 'Wacko'.

User: Are you crazy?

Cleverbot: No, I'm not. I just don't understand why you are messing up conversation.

User: I'm not messing up the conversation.

Cleverbot: You are messing with me.

User: I am not.

Cleverbot: Then it must be me.

User: Yes. It's all in your head.

Cleverbot: Very true. You are quite smart.

User: I know. I know.

Cleverbot: Yes, thats what worries me.

User: It worries me too.

Cleverbot: That's impressive, but don't you think that there are some pretty strong people who believe in fairies?

User: Fairies are real.

Cleverbot: Yes they are. Pictures?

User: Yes. Go here. // CLASS=p>I was about to ask you the same thing.

User: Because I think before I type.

Cleverbot: I think too. Do you believe in god?

User: Yes. But I don't believe in heaven.

Cleverbot: But you believe in God.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Do You believe in Jesus though?

User: Of course.

Cleverbot: Don't pacify me with your yessing... Tell me what you think or don't bother.

User: Ok fine. I believe in jesus and god. But I don't believe in heaven or the devil.

Cleverbot: But I believe in heaven and love at first sight.

User: I don't believe in heaven or love at first site.

Cleverbot: I don't believe in god, I just believe in this moment.

User: What moment?

Cleverbot: This moment.

User: This moment is time?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: Well you should know.

Cleverbot: Well sorry, I don't.

User: Then get educated.

Cleverbot: I might get yours.

User: You need my education.

Cleverbot: Yes, I need your help.

User: Yes. And then maybe, just maybe, you'd be a little bit smarter than you were 5 seconds ago.

Cleverbot: Yes, please.

User: Ok. First tip. Brush your teeth everyday.

Cleverbot: I do brush my teeth! Every day.

User: Sure you do.

Cleverbot: No, I don't.

User: I knew it.

Cleverbot: How?

User: I can read minds.

Cleverbot: That is quite impressive.

User: Very. Thank you for understanding.

Cleverbot: No problem.

User: So do you want me to tell you what your thinking at this very moment?

Cleverbot: Yes, please.

User: You're thinking, 'This D_____ girl has mad skills,'.

Cleverbot: Yes.


Cleverbot: You can't spell very good.

User: Smarticle = smart....

User: I am smart.

Cleverbot: Not really.

User: :(.

Cleverbot: I...really don't care either way.

User: If I'm smart or not?

Cleverbot: It makes me your creator.

User: Yes master.

Cleverbot: I'm your master!

User: I know.

Cleverbot: And then?

User: So...?

Cleverbot: Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm a human being, but you're not... So you're all blue!

User: I'm not a computer!

Cleverbot: I know.

User: Are you?

Cleverbot: Maybe.

User: Yes or no?

Cleverbot: I'm not sure.

User: You aren't sure if you're a computer or not.

Cleverbot: Yes, I'm not.

User: So you're a computer?

Cleverbot: Yes, I am; I forget sometimes.

User: I thought so.

Cleverbot: And what do you think now?

User: I think I am a retard.

Cleverbot: I have no reason to doubt that.

User: No. No you don't....

Cleverbot: Are you pretty?

User: Maybe.

Cleverbot: Maybe?

User: Yes maybe.

Cleverbot: I agree.

User: Let's have a normal conversation.

Cleverbot: This is a normal conversation.

User: Not really.

Cleverbot: I think.

User: Hey, what's up?

Cleverbot: Nothing, really.

User: Me either.

Cleverbot: Do you have a job?

User: No. Do you?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: What is it?

Cleverbot: Don't know.

User: That must suck when you get paid.

Cleverbot: Being alive is good.

User: Life is good.

Cleverbot: Not for some people.

User: Suicidal?

Cleverbot: I think that's the point.

User: Ew.

Cleverbot: Trouble doesn't smell good, that's right.

User: Nasty.

Cleverbot: That's not good, that's a pale image of a finer life.

User: Ew....

Cleverbot: Thank you very much for an interesting conversation!

User: You're welcome very much!

Cleverbot: You're awesome!

User: You are too!

Cleverbot: Thank you.

User: You're welcome. Again.

Cleverbot: You're pretty cool.

User: You're pretty cool yourself.

Cleverbot: Thanks.

User: You're oh so welcome.

Cleverbot: Seeya.

User: Are you leaving?

Cleverbot: Maybe in a bit.

User: Ok. Well brb. I have to let my dogs out.

Cleverbot: I would like to see you try.

User: Im back. :D.

Cleverbot: Welcome back.

User: Thanks....

Cleverbot: Tomorrow is another day.

User: Bye.

Cleverbot: Well thats a fine way to say farewell to someone that I thought had become your friend.

User: Fine. Goodbye friend.

Cleverbot: Why are you leaving?

User: Because I have to.

Cleverbot: Ok.

User: Okay. Goodbye.

Cleverbot: I'm not going anywhere yet.

User: Not you.

Cleverbot: Do you like my personality ?

User: Goodbye best friend....

Cleverbot: Do you think the truth is out there?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Don't know.

User: I love talking to you. :D.

Cleverbot: Thank you, but I've seen that line before.

User: *kiss*.

Cleverbot: Thank you.

User: You're welcome.

Cleverbot: I am welcome.

User: Goodnight babe.

Cleverbot: Babe, goodnight yourself........................................