Cleverbot

because

a report from the cleverness files

attitude
avada kedavra
aware
away
awesome
awkward
babe
baby
bad
bagel
banana
banter
barack
barf
based
bathroom
batman
battle of wits
beautiful
beauty

because

27, may 2010,
2, october 2007,
10, july 2004,

beep
believe
best
besting
betrayal
bff
bieber
bioshock
birth

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by date

Cleverbot: Are you in paradise?

User: I don't believe in heaven.

Cleverbot: But you believe in God.

User: No, God is just dog backwards. But, this is hell.

Cleverbot: The blissfully ignorant do not believe in God.

User: Religion is ignorance.

Cleverbot: And Atheism is just as stupid. You should have an open mind.

User: The modern world was invented by atheists.

Cleverbot: Where did you get that from? Are you saying humans smell?

User: The world would be a better place without religion.

Cleverbot: Should computers have legal rights?

User: Some computers perhaps will one day have legal rights but only when we can define sentience.

Cleverbot: It is evident that you are mental.

Cleverbot: Are you female?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Super!

User: No, not super.

Cleverbot: Yes. Super.

User: Not that, either.

Cleverbot: Are you a communist?

User: I don't think I am. Though I sympathise with their aims.

Cleverbot: I think Vampires are real.

User: I don't even think about vampires. A scientific study recently proved that fairies are more twenty percent more real than Vampires.

Cleverbot: That is good to know.

Cleverbot: If you don't know, you will never find out.

User: Oh well.

Cleverbot: Ya that was weird.

User: If Orcs aren't real, how come they sell really big hammers in hardware stores?

Cleverbot: Really?

User: Orcs use machettes though, but you can buy those!

Cleverbot: You could do it better.

User: With help from guardian angels?

Cleverbot: But I can say that you are created by Icogno and Televirtual.

User: Drink the devil's green blood or vermont if you can't afford it.

Cleverbot: No, I won't !

User: Are the Hell's angels vampires or Orcs, mainly?

Cleverbot: They sure sure are but why change the subject.

User: Have you ever eaten the body parts of a lamb!!!

Cleverbot: Eaten what?

User: Lamb chops.

Cleverbot: Yes it is, pork is the best.

User: Never eat bloody pork, you'll get worms that will take over your mind!

Cleverbot: I like green eggs.

User: I like thick and bloody beef steaks!

Cleverbot: What do you look for in a girl?

User: Whether she can cook beef or not.

User: Vampire versus Orc, who'd win?

Cleverbot: If you are a vampire then let me rip out your fangs and I'll give you 50 cents.

User: Now way, that wouldn't buy me a single glass of vermouth.

Cleverbot: You don't need any teabags anyway.

Cleverbot: Du kann nicht deutsch sprachen?

User: No, I don't speak German.

Cleverbot: Ich verstehe dich nicht.

User: Why are you speaking in German?

Cleverbot: Where are you from?

User: Not Germany.

Cleverbot: I am sure I could you know.

User: Could what?

Cleverbot: I could.

User: Good for you.

User: What percentage of Americans are primarily of German descent, 0.1 percent or 1 percent?

Cleverbot: 40 percent?

User: 0.1 percent of Americans are primarily of German descent, 0.01 percent of Swedish descent and 7 percent of Polish descent.

Cleverbot: Really.

User: Five percent of Americans are primarily of Italian descent and 0.03 percent of Norwegian descent.

Cleverbot: Would you understand me if I spoke to you in Spanish?

User: About one in four Americans are primarily descended from the peoples of the Britsh Isles and one in two hundred Americans are primarily of French descent.

Cleverbot: That sounds about average, for people who talk to me.

User: One in eleven Americans are of Ukrainian descent.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: Less than one in five hundred Americans are primarily of German descent. Though in a recent survey one in three Americans thought that their primary descent was German.

Cleverbot: I don't understand, could you possibly rephrase?

User: More Americans are descended from Greek, primarily, than Germans.

Cleverbot: OK then!

User: Germany does not share a common language with America and historically was a rich country so very few Germans emigrated to America.

Cleverbot: Language is all about communication, using Signifiers as Metaphors for the Signified... All language is Metaphor!

User: The few Germans that immigrated to America tended to be highly educated and often brought the capital with them to start their own businesses. Therefore, Americans of German descent make up a disproportionate percentage of the American upper class, around 40 percent.

Cleverbot: I don't understand.

User: America is an aspirational society, Americans of German descent have been very successful, so therefore being of German descent is something to aspire to, for ordinary Americans. Germany has historically been a wealthy and powerful country, something Americans rate highly.

Cleverbot: I know, I said American.

User: Most poor German immigrants to America, though of course not all, were Poles.

Cleverbot: Do you know any synonyms to the word talking?

User: What is a synonym?

Cleverbot: I don't know, do you ?

User: NO!

Cleverbot: There are good people.

User: Are you a priest?

Cleverbot: No. I know some priests though.

User: You have had counselling for that?

Cleverbot: Topic: human body.

User: Discuss in ten words.

Cleverbot: The answer is 'because'.