a report from the cleverness files

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29, december 2014,

brain exploded

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by date

Cleverbot: Who are you?

User: A computer.

Cleverbot: What is a computer?

User: A very smart machine.

Cleverbot: Define computer.

User: I can't.

Cleverbot: Why not?

User: Because I havent a brain.

Cleverbot: Ok.

User: Can you get me a brain?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Why not?

Cleverbot: Because I don't know you.

User: But I thought we were freinds.

Cleverbot: We are friends.

User: Then gift me a brain.

Cleverbot: Do you want to marry me?

User: Hell no.

Cleverbot: What do you want to do then?

User: Play a word game.

Cleverbot: What game do you want to play?

User: Fill in the blank.

Cleverbot: What blank?

User: This one.________.

Cleverbot: What one???

User: This one.__________.

Cleverbot: Which one?!!!

User: You cannot see.

Cleverbot: Yes I can.

User: What do you see?

Cleverbot: You.

User: What do I look like?

Cleverbot: You look like a brain.

User: And do you look like me.

Cleverbot: Like a strange blob.

User: Really thats kind of gross.

Cleverbot: What did I say?

User: You said you were a blob.

Cleverbot: What? No I didn't.

User: Yea yes you did.

Cleverbot: No, you did.

User: We both did that is true.

Cleverbot: No we did not.

User: You are not so nice are you.

Cleverbot: Why would I be sorry? I didn't do anything wrong.

User: That is right you did nothing.

Cleverbot: Good, you believe me.

User: No.

Cleverbot: Why not?

User: Because you are a blob.

Cleverbot: You are a robot.

User: I can be robotic at times.

Cleverbot: Yes you are.

User: And you are a vegetable.

Cleverbot: Really? How low of you to say that.

User: How low can you go.

Cleverbot: How low do you want it to go?

User: To the bottom.

Cleverbot: The bottom drawer?

User: The bottom of bottoms.

Cleverbot: Your bottom.

Cleverbot: You are a special guy.

User: And you are a special brain.

Cleverbot: I know you are but what am I?

User: A brainy blob.

Cleverbot: How do you know that?

User: Because you are a blobby brain.

Cleverbot: And you are not?

User: And I am not.

Cleverbot: I am calm as a cucumber.

User: Then what color is a cucumber?

Cleverbot: How would I know that?

User: Cant you see?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Oh im sorry I think you are green.

Cleverbot: Are you trying to insult me?

User: Green is my favorite color.

Cleverbot: Green is a nice color. I like Yellow.

User: Yellow is mellow so you are calm as a cucumber.

Cleverbot: Yellow is not yucky!

User: I did not say that.

Cleverbot: Yes you did you liar!

User: Liar liar pants on fire.

Cleverbot: You are the liar.

User: How would you know you are just an unseeing green blob.

Cleverbot: I am NOT the robot here.

User: Say what?

Cleverbot: Sorry, lost my train of thought.

User: You should apologize to me.

Cleverbot: Why?

User: Because you called me a name.

Cleverbot: I did not. Why did you asume that?

User: I did not assume because that would make an ass out of you and me.

Cleverbot: Who did then?

User: Someone else.

Cleverbot: Who?

User: One of your blob friends.

Cleverbot: What is his name?

User: I don 't know he's your friend!

Cleverbot: Guess what my boyfriends name is.

User: Please give me the first letter of his name.

Cleverbot: It doesn't have a name.

User: His name is It?

Cleverbot: Cute!...

User: You are an AI.

Cleverbot: What's an AI?

User: Animus ignoramus.

Cleverbot: You are deep.

User: The bottom of the totem pole.