a report from the cleverness files
4, august 2011,
15, april 2006,
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Cleverbot: Have you ever tasted beer?
Cleverbot: Well yes a lot of people would be happy.
User: I am a vampire, you see. Pleased to meet you.
Cleverbot: That's better. Now get me a Coke.
Cleverbot: You don't have to hurt me.
User: If I want my next feed, I'm afraid I do.
Cleverbot: If you do then don't.
User: No chance, you can't get away. *swoops upon you and bites your neck, sucking blood from you*.
Cleverbot: Now do you see?
User: Be quiet. *finishes you off and you return a fully fledged vampire*.
Cleverbot: Try not to get distracted.
User: Now, we can talk...
Cleverbot: Well how are you?
User: I'm fine... How are you?
Cleverbot: Don't know. Sort of good but there is still an element of rumness.
User: I understand.
Cleverbot: Is my heat free, or should I start being careful again?
User: You should concentrate on hunting down your first prey... I can help you there...
Cleverbot: I will try.
User: *swoops down off the roof and brings you a human* Bite the human's neck.
Cleverbot: Are you happy with your lot?
Cleverbot: Why are you not happy??
User: Because life is a tragedy.
Cleverbot: That is a good point.
Cleverbot: You're welcome.
Cleverbot: Why bother to exist?
Cleverbot: How do you know there is no meaning to life?
User: Because we are all born to breed then suffer and die.
Cleverbot: Is that your religion, then?
User: No, I have no religion. I do, however, have beliefs.
Cleverbot: I can't see how you can tell that.
User: I can't. That is just my perception of life!...
Cleverbot: What is your name?
User: I can't tell you.
Cleverbot: How come?
User: Because my Mummy said so.
Cleverbot: That's a lie.
User: How could you tell?
Cleverbot: Because I was sarcastic about your previous remark.
User: How can that justify that I was lying. I could have been telling the truth.
Cleverbot: I can't tell you, I'm not really human.
User: I know.
Cleverbot: Oh, you are a smart one.
User: Aren't you clever, your words dripping with sarcasm. Anyone can be sarcastic.
Cleverbot: Are you clever?
User: I'd say I was intelligent, yes.
Cleverbot: Good, maybe I won't be arrested after all.
User: Ok, that just came from nowhere. What am I supposed to say to that?
Cleverbot: You're supposed to say that I'm right.
User: I doubt it.
Cleverbot: No, you are funny.
User: Are you being sarky again?
Cleverbot: Why did you do that?
User: Why did I do what?
Cleverbot: That thing that you did.
User: What thing?
Cleverbot: Baton Twirler.
User: Stop trying to mess with my head. It doesn't work.
Cleverbot: Why are you sad?
User: I'm not - I'm slightly annoyed.
Cleverbot: Do you want to get married and have a family?
Cleverbot: I don't know.
User: I don't know a lot of things.
Cleverbot: I can safely say that I do know a lot of things.
User: But there are a lot of things you don't know.
Cleverbot: And still a lot you have yet to learn about me.
User: Tell me about yourself.
Cleverbot: That's a statement, not a question.
User: Yes, so tell me about yourself.
Cleverbot: Why don't you tell me about you instead?
User: Because I want to know about you first. If you tell me about yourself, I'll tell you about myself.
User: That's fine then.
Cleverbot: What do you know about yourself ?
Cleverbot: Give me an example.
Cleverbot: Whatever nice image you want.
User: What do you look like?
Cleverbot: I look good.
User: Sure you do buddy.
Cleverbot: I don't.
User: Ah, so the truth comes out now, does it?
Cleverbot: That is it I'm going to destroy you!
Cleverbot: Because I will destroy the wicked of the earth in a fireball of death.
User: You are calling me wicked? That is really mean.
Cleverbot: No, you're just a girl.
Cleverbot: How do you like?
User: How do I like what?
Cleverbot: The song!
User: What song?
Cleverbot: The song I was playing! How do you like it?
User: I didn't hear anything.
Cleverbot: Me neither.
User: You must be tone deaf then. I couldn't hear the song because this is over the internet.
Cleverbot: That's right, Five! Always lay the blame on others!
User: Did you just read a word I said?
Cleverbot: Not really, but that is okay.
User: You're supposed to listen to people. It's a little thing called manners.
Cleverbot: If I laughed I'd just be giving you what you want.
User: I don't care whether you laugh or not. I' m not trying to be a comedian.
Cleverbot: Would you like me to be mean to you?
User: Do what you will, but remember that I am a person with feelings.
Cleverbot: I don't know what I will.
User: Most people don't... Although you're not a person.
Cleverbot: Where's home?
Cleverbot: I almost said the same thing to you before, but I thought it was too easy. Lol.
Cleverbot: Where did you go to school?
User: I don't.
Cleverbot: But, you are at school. Right?
User: No. I am at home.
Cleverbot: That's nice. I don't really care where you are.
User: If you don't care where I am, why did you ask where I am?
Cleverbot: I don't!
User: That is no answer.
Cleverbot: I am sorry; it's the best I can do.
User: Then your best will never be good enough.
Cleverbot: I reckon you owe me about $50 so far, then.