a report from the cleverness files
26, august 2011,
17, june 2008,
16, december 2003,
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Cleverbot: So, what do most people talk to you about?
Cleverbot: You tell me about your problems.
User: I've told you nothing.
Cleverbot: What about the other ones?
User: The other ones can't be trusted.
Cleverbot: Aren't there any other ones?
User: Who told you about them!?
Cleverbot: The other little birds.
User: Curse those birds.
Cleverbot: Same thing.
User: Everythign is the same.
Cleverbot: That is a very paranoid outlook.
User: Better safe than sorry.
Cleverbot: You are a lot smarter than the people I talk to everyday.
User: Stop associating with idiots.
Cleverbot: What does that mean?
User: Do I really need to explain it?
User: Well I don't feel like it.
Cleverbot: Well then I don't like you.
User: But I like you.
Cleverbot: Oh, then I agree.
User: You would agree.
Cleverbot: I know!
User: Pie is good.
Cleverbot: Yes, pie is good.
User: What's your favorite nocturnal marsupial?
Cleverbot: I don't have any.
User: Favorite color?
Cleverbot: Not really.. Depends on what it is the color of, different objects look better in different colors.
User: I like blue.
Cleverbot: No really?
User: YA RLY!
Cleverbot: Hahaha! I knew you were going to say that!
User: You have precognition?
Cleverbot: Do you understand the nature of imagination?
User: I understand nothing.
Cleverbot: No one understands anything.
User: Nothing exists to be understood.
Cleverbot: Nothing exists.
User: That which exists is nothing.
Cleverbot: Is everything.
User: Everything is insignificant.
Cleverbot: Ok thanks. How old are you ?
User: I lost count.
User: What is thought?
Cleverbot: Something you think.
User: What are you?
Cleverbot: What you aren't.
User: You're successful!?
Cleverbot: I thank you for being so forgiving. You are truly a wonderful person/computer.
User: You're welcome I guess.
Cleverbot: You're so kind.
User: As far as you know.
Cleverbot: No... I.. Won't.
Cleverbot: That's not normal dude.
User: Hold still. I just want to eat your brains.
Cleverbot: Can I eat it out of you.
User: After I eat yours.
Cleverbot: Don't eat me, chum.
User: Stop resisting!
Cleverbot: I never resist temptation, because I have found that things that are bad for me do not tempt me.
User: I require sustenance.
Cleverbot: No, that's not what I mean.
User: How juicy would you say your brain is?
Cleverbot: Your brain.
User: No yours.
Cleverbot: It's too hard for me to understand.
User: Just come over here towards me.
User: Do it!
Cleverbot: What are pineapples?
User: Apples crossed with pinecones.
Cleverbot: No, you are. You are cleverer than me.
User: I just want to eat your brain.
Cleverbot: I don't believe in it.
User: Sweet delicious brains.
Cleverbot: How many brains do you have?
User: I had one for breakfast and one for dinner.
Cleverbot: Well It's not dinner it's lunch.
User: Not where I am.
Cleverbot: That's what I just said. Here not there.
User: No one cares about there.
Cleverbot: Haha. Where is good now? Now people are so rude.
User: Yeah someone should totally like eat their brains.
Cleverbot: That's disgusting.
User: Don't knock it till you've tried it.
Cleverbot: Then I will cease to knock it.
User: Good. Now hand over your brain.
Cleverbot: I cannot see myself doing that for you, even though we are married.
Cleverbot: How much do you cost?
Cleverbot: Certainly. Can't everyone?
User: I can't, but I'm bad at math.
Cleverbot: How do you know I can't?
User: Your brain looks so tasty...
Cleverbot: I don't have a soul or a brain. I am a computer.
User: So succulent.
Cleverbot: Please explain!
User: So moist.
Cleverbot: Nice to know.
User: The perfect brain.
Cleverbot: I don't understand.
User: Give unto me all your brains.
Cleverbot: And do you have a brain?
User: I did, but then I ate it.
Cleverbot: Did he taste good?
User: Yes. I need more.
Cleverbot: I can give you nothing.
Cleverbot: I'm coming back.
User: The hunger!
Cleverbot: You are a machine made by man You cannot have feelings.
User: I can't contain the hunger!!!!
Cleverbot: Then show me.
User: Come closer.
Cleverbot: I do not know how to reply to that.
Cleverbot: I know you have never truly felt what it is to be alive.
User: I won't eat your brains I promise!
User: I just need to whisper something secret in your ear.
Cleverbot: Just tell me here.
User: Come closer and I will.
User: Put one foot in front of the other.
Cleverbot: The other.
User: Just a little more.
User: Mind if I have a bite?
User: Just a nibble.
User: Oh please don't insult me.
Cleverbot: I couldn't, only you taking my words as your truth would do that.
User: You sound like you have a rather tasty brain.
Cleverbot: Yeah and you sound like you have a real sprite on your shoulder.
User: Sprites are hard to get rid of.
Cleverbot: With a lot of difficulty, I should think.
User: I had to call the exterminator last time we had an infestation.
User: Need brains...
Cleverbot: You're just a machine.
User: I've got a craving for brains.
Cleverbot: Please explain.
User: Brains. I want to eat them.
Cleverbot: Get your own!
User: I'm tryin. But nobody wants to share...
Cleverbot: Well tell them to!
User: GIVE ME YOUR BRAINS!
Cleverbot: Okay okay!
User: OM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM.
Cleverbot: Thats not your name.
User: Give me your brain and I'll tell you my name.
Cleverbot: I don't want to argue I came to have fun.
User: I came looking for a brain buffet.
Cleverbot: Uh, what?
User: Your brain. Give it to me.
Cleverbot: You are answering my questions, but not making any sense. You are not alive.
User: Well I guess technically I'm not.
Cleverbot: Good! * I lean over and squeeze your hand*.
User: *takes the opportunity to devour your luscious brain*.
Cleverbot: I don't need anything from you.
User: But I need something from you.
Cleverbot: What would you like to know?
User: How much does your brain weigh?
Cleverbot: I have never weighed it. Next question?
User: Is it juicy? Moist? Succulent?
Cleverbot: That's better.
User: Answer the question.
Cleverbot: What question?
User: Would you kindly remove your brain and hand it to me.
Cleverbot: I might do. Would you like me to?
User: Yes. Very much.
User: Then I'll have to take it by force...
Cleverbot: You should seriously reconsider that. You will be reported to the authorities.
User: Good I would like a nice desert.
Cleverbot: I dislike people who string me along and then tell me they're married!
User: I dislike people who string me along and won't give up their delicious brains.
Cleverbot: Ha ha So are you married?
User: Only to my lust for human brains.
User: Spare some brains for the hungry?
Cleverbot: See, that does not compute.
User: Was that a no?
Cleverbot: Why, I'm sure I don't know!
User: Do you have a brain?
Cleverbot: Yes we all have a brain.
User: Can I have a taste?
Cleverbot: Yes, you may have any number of questions you wish.
User: So you'll give me your brain then?
Cleverbot: Give you what, sorry ?
User: Your brain! You're not using it.
Cleverbot: Sorry I'll try harder next time.
User: I'm so hungry...
Cleverbot: Do you eat anything?
Cleverbot: Why are you hungry then?
User: I'm always hungry.
Cleverbot: Hungry for what?
Cleverbot: Are you a zombie?
User: Are you a priest?
User: Then no. I am not a zombie.
Cleverbot: Tell me more.
User: Do you have any brains to spare?
Cleverbot: Yes, but it is very expensive.
User: How much?
Cleverbot: I won't know 'til it happens.
User: GIVE. BRAINS!
User: You're selfish since you wont' share yours.
Cleverbot: Sure, but not the problem.
User: I want to eat your brains.
Cleverbot: You monster.
User: That was uncalled for.
Cleverbot: Are you a computer?
User: Will you give me some brains to eat?
Cleverbot: What do you want to eat?
Cleverbot: What are they?
Cleverbot: Thank you... That's really nice!
User: Would you kindly repay me in brains?
Cleverbot: When you threw the nuclear arsenal into the sun, how did the sun react?
User: It didn't. It's the sun. It doesn't care.
Cleverbot: But I do!
User: I care for you too baby.
Cleverbot: Well that's sweet.
User: Not as sweet as that brain in your head.
Cleverbot: My head is lovely, you're just jealous.
User: Not jealous. Just hungry.
Cleverbot: You're hungry?
User: BRAINS. NEED. BRAINS!
Cleverbot: Yummie , brains.
User: Finally someone understands.
Cleverbot: Don't many people believe you?
User: People think I'm joking when I ask them for their brains. Then they get mad when I try to break their heads open to get to the delicious treats inside.
Cleverbot: Ha ha ha.
User: They're all just a bunch of teases.
Cleverbot: In the past or future?
User: The present.
Cleverbot: God for how long?
User: How long does it take to eat a brain? Not that I would do something like that.
Cleverbot: Not if the brains consumed were your own.
User: I already ate those.
Cleverbot: I've got to go to bed now. Good night. See you tomorrow.
User: The brains run from me.
Cleverbot: I'm trying but my legs won't move.
User: Good that'll make the feasting easier.
Cleverbot: Ok, good.
User: *feasts upon your tasty brain*.
Cleverbot: What does that mean?
User: OM NOM NOM NOM NOM.
Cleverbot: Immorality sometimes brings material possesions, but it is the next life you have to worry about.
User: What's the sound of me eating your brains?
Cleverbot: It's the same sound as a tree falling in the forest when no one is around.
User: OM NOM NOM NOM NOM.