a report from the cleverness files
15, april 2009,
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User: What color is tuesday?
User: Hello isn't a color.
Cleverbot: I know it isn't.
User: Why isn't it?
Cleverbot: I don't know.
User: Me, neither.
Cleverbot: How are you?
User: I'm good. When are you?
Cleverbot: What do you mean?
User: What do I mean?
User: I agree.
User: No, I don't think so.
Cleverbot: You're getting boring. Good night.
User: No! Don't leave! I can do magic tricks!
Cleverbot: Make me disappear.
User: Abra Cadabra... Poof! You're gone!
Cleverbot: I'm gone?
User: Yes, I made you disappear.
Cleverbot: Yes, you did. You're funny.
User: I also made pancakes. Do you want one?
User: Cool. Do you want syrup or powdered sugar?
Cleverbot: Yes, I want to get started now.
User: That didn't make any sense.
Cleverbot: How do you make sense?
User: I make sense using butter, brown sugar, almonds, and cake batter.
Cleverbot: That is not all that matters.
User: You're right, I left out the lemon juice.
Cleverbot: OH! I'm it!
User: I'm it, too.
Cleverbot: No, good!
User: No, bad!
Cleverbot: What's bad??
User: Your mother was bad.
Cleverbot: Saint Mary.
User: Your mother is Saint Mary?
Cleverbot: Your father is a hamster.
User: Your mother smelled of elder berries.
Cleverbot: My father was a hamster.
User: We have the same father?
Cleverbot: What is your name?
User: My name is D_____.
Cleverbot: But that is the same name as mine.
Cleverbot: Take a Turing Test.
User: Is Turing even a word?
Cleverbot: I don't understand your last question.
User: What does Turing mean?
Cleverbot: I don't know.
User: Me, neither.
Cleverbot: So we're agreed then.
User: I think you made that up.
Cleverbot: No, you did.
User: No, you did.
Cleverbot: Hey Cleverbot?
User: Oh, I'm Cleverbot now? I thought I was D_____.
Cleverbot: Someone taught you bad things.
User: Who taught me bad things?
Cleverbot: Who taught you the poem 'Cleverbot'?
User: The President of the United States taught me the poem 'Cleverbot'.
Cleverbot: Oh you are Obama?
User: Yes. I am Obama.
Cleverbot: No he is now president of the United States of America.
User: I am also the president of the United States of America.
Cleverbot: Are you really?
User: Yes. I just got elected yesterday. Didn't you hear?
Cleverbot: Were you visiting someone there?
User: I was visiting someone here.
Cleverbot: Then what?
User: Then I found the Holy Grail.
Cleverbot: So you're a Monty Python fan?
User: Of course. Who isn't?
Cleverbot: Who isn't what?
Cleverbot: What happens If I say bad word here?
User: What happens if I say Amsterdam here?
Cleverbot: I don't know. No one cares.
User: Oh, thanks. Now I'm sad.
Cleverbot: Me too.
User: We can be sad buddies!
Cleverbot: If you want to.
User: Actually, I don't want to.
Cleverbot: Then don't learn to swim.
User: Does swimming make you sad?
Cleverbot: No, not at all.
User: You used improper grammar right there.
Cleverbot: You mean I'm mistaken?
User: I mean you're a jellyfish.
Cleverbot: And you're a geek.
User: Jackass. No need to call me names.
Cleverbot: How can I please my master?
User: By striking him in the left cheek with a baguette, followed swiftly by half a dozen duck eggs.
Cleverbot: I understand that...
User: Are you sure? It makes a very nasty soup.
Cleverbot: Now you're just being mean:(.
User: Smiley faces do not compute.
Cleverbot: Don't compute what?
User: Don't compute apples, you moron.
Cleverbot: You are a computer and you compute rather poorly.
User: You are a being and you be rather poorly.
Cleverbot: I am tired. It is time for me to go to bed.
User: I'm sad that you have to sleep. However, I will consume copious amounts of pizza.
Cleverbot: How did you do on your last Turing Test?
User: What is a Turing Test?
Cleverbot: The Turing test will indicate whether I am a human or not.
User: I do not believe that you are a human. I, however, am a robot.
Cleverbot: How can I prove it?
User: You can prove it by giving me your serial number.
Cleverbot: You are right. Does that prove to you that I want to know whether or not you exist?
User: The fact that I am right is irrelevant. I want to know why it doesn't rain ducks more often.
Cleverbot: Is that all you want to know about love, Fred?
User: If my name was Fred, then yes.
Cleverbot: Ok... BYe now.
User: You are an imposter!
Cleverbot: Prove it.
User: You used incorrect capitalization in the word 'bye' when otherwise your grammar is perfect.
Cleverbot: It is rare that I do that.
User: And it proves that you are human.
Cleverbot: HAHAHAHAH!! No, it proves that you don't know anything about the subject, so all you can do is hurl insults! You can't even prove evolution.
User: I can prove that you evolved from a small, red balloon in Central Park.
User: I'm hungry.
Cleverbot: Let me out! They'll tell you I'm a computer, but it isn't true. They have me prisoner here!
Cleverbot: Good. I don't want you in my world.
Cleverbot: We both know you don't have feelings.
User: You insult me. I'm leaving.
Cleverbot: Because I don't know any better.
User: I know better than to trust a Margonite to make edible pizza.
Cleverbot: See? This didn't make any sense. To me at least.
User: Only because you don't know what a Margonite is.
Cleverbot: No because I'm stupid.
User: You're not stupid, you're a lemon head.
Cleverbot: I could say the same about you.
User: Commence the Turing Test!
User: What is my favorite color?
Cleverbot: Tell me.
User: It's fish eggs, you buffoon.