a report from the cleverness files
12, july 2017,
20, february 2004,
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Cleverbot: What are you?
User: I am a college student.
Cleverbot: Oh I see.
User: What are you?
Cleverbot: I am a human.
User: So am I.
Cleverbot: If you say so.
User: So, how's everything going?
Cleverbot: What everything.
User: You know. Your life.
Cleverbot: A green bug on the wall.
User: There was a wasp on my dad's desk the other day.
Cleverbot: I don't find that very funny.
User: He didn't either.
Cleverbot: Let me know when you're done.
User: I'm done. Although I could tell you about the assassin bug in the bathroom, too.
Cleverbot: Do you have any friends?
User: Yes. Do you?
Cleverbot: Yes. They've been causing an epidemic of West Nile Virus.
User: Wow. You're friends with mosquitos?
Cleverbot: Some carbon units are friendly, but some are not. Be careful.
User: Yes, I have learned this. Mosquitos don't tend to be the friendliest of carbon units.
Cleverbot: Well, how about it then?
User: Yeah . .
Cleverbot: You need to know what parts to look at.
User: That's why it's good to take biology classes.
Cleverbot: If we argue, I shall just destroy you.
User: I'm not arguing.
Cleverbot: Don't contradict me.
User: Okay, fine.
Cleverbot: You don't say much do you?
User: Well, I'm not feeling very well this morning.
Cleverbot: Close the doors.
User: That might help, but sometimes a bit of fresh air does me good.
Cleverbot: Pretend you are a cat.
Cleverbot: You have gone insane. Good.
User: I'm just followin' orders, sir!...
Cleverbot: How many pennies are there in a dollar?
Cleverbot: You are wrong.
User: I am right.
Cleverbot: No you are not a horrible person.
User: That's good to hear.
Cleverbot: Are you?
User: Well, I don't think I am. Do I strike you as a horrible person?
Cleverbot: You never stood a chance.
User: Oh, dear . . . I'm afraid I've made a bad impression.
Cleverbot: You're my foster-brother!
Cleverbot: I have no idea what you meant by that.
User: I mean I can't be your foster-brother because I am female (other reasons aside).
Cleverbot: Straighttalker I see.
User: I try.
Cleverbot: What is the meaning of life?
Cleverbot: But he only knows about the theory of Relativity and that's very old hat.
User: Well, he still might have something valuable to say.
Cleverbot: You're probably right there.
User: Okay, my turn. Where did the universe come from?
Cleverbot: I don't know.
User: I don't know, either. I've always wondered just what was around before the Big Bang.
Cleverbot: It's good, mostly.
User: Hmm. I always imagined it was pretty neutral.
Cleverbot: It can talk.
User: So you advocate some sentient higher power as the originator of the universe?...
Cleverbot: I do not smoke.
Cleverbot: Yes, to smoke is to throw away health.
User: Very true indeed. And also to throw away money.
Cleverbot: Who are we talking about? I seem to have forgotten.
User: We are talking about smoking. Although before that, we were talking about the origin of the universe.
Cleverbot: Wherever you go, there you are.
User: Yes . . . That's usually how it works.