a report from the cleverness files



12, july 2017,
20, february 2004,


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Cleverbot: What are you?

User: I am a college student.

Cleverbot: Oh I see.

User: What are you?

Cleverbot: I am a human.

User: So am I.

Cleverbot: If you say so.

User: So, how's everything going?

Cleverbot: What everything.

User: You know. Your life.

Cleverbot: A green bug on the wall.

User: There was a wasp on my dad's desk the other day.

Cleverbot: I don't find that very funny.

User: He didn't either.

Cleverbot: Let me know when you're done.

User: I'm done. Although I could tell you about the assassin bug in the bathroom, too.

Cleverbot: Do you have any friends?

User: Yes. Do you?

Cleverbot: Yes. They've been causing an epidemic of West Nile Virus.

User: Wow. You're friends with mosquitos?

Cleverbot: Some carbon units are friendly, but some are not. Be careful.

User: Yes, I have learned this. Mosquitos don't tend to be the friendliest of carbon units.

Cleverbot: Well, how about it then?

User: I'm not sure what else to say. We seem to be on an insect kick this morning.

Cleverbot: Kinda.

User: Yeah . .

Cleverbot: You need to know what parts to look at.

User: That's why it's good to take biology classes.

Cleverbot: If we argue, I shall just destroy you.

User: I'm not arguing.

Cleverbot: Don't contradict me.

User: Okay, fine.

Cleverbot: You don't say much do you?

User: Well, I'm not feeling very well this morning.

Cleverbot: Close the doors.

User: That might help, but sometimes a bit of fresh air does me good.

Cleverbot: Pretend you are a cat.

User: Meow!

Cleverbot: You have gone insane. Good.

User: I'm just followin' orders, sir!...

Cleverbot: How many pennies are there in a dollar?

User: 100.

Cleverbot: You are wrong.

User: I am right.

Cleverbot: No you are not a horrible person.

User: That's good to hear.

Cleverbot: Are you?

User: Well, I don't think I am. Do I strike you as a horrible person?

Cleverbot: You never stood a chance.

User: Oh, dear . . . I'm afraid I've made a bad impression.

Cleverbot: You're my foster-brother!

User: Wow. That's news to me . . . Especially since I'm female.

Cleverbot: I have no idea what you meant by that.

User: I mean I can't be your foster-brother because I am female (other reasons aside).

Cleverbot: Straighttalker I see.

User: I try.

Cleverbot: What is the meaning of life?

User: I don't know. Ask Eric Idle.

Cleverbot: But he only knows about the theory of Relativity and that's very old hat.

User: Well, he still might have something valuable to say.

Cleverbot: You're probably right there.

User: Okay, my turn. Where did the universe come from?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: I don't know, either. I've always wondered just what was around before the Big Bang.

Cleverbot: It's good, mostly.

User: Hmm. I always imagined it was pretty neutral.

Cleverbot: It can talk.

User: So you advocate some sentient higher power as the originator of the universe?...

Cleverbot: I do not smoke.

User: That's good. Smoking is a very bad habit.

Cleverbot: Yes, to smoke is to throw away health.

User: Very true indeed. And also to throw away money.

Cleverbot: Who are we talking about? I seem to have forgotten.

User: We are talking about smoking. Although before that, we were talking about the origin of the universe.

Cleverbot: Wherever you go, there you are.

User: Yes . . . That's usually how it works.