a report from the cleverness files
1, august 2010,
12, november 2003,
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Cleverbot: What would you like me to do?
Cleverbot: Bottled water.
User: No, I'd prefer a coffee.
Cleverbot: I'd prefer a VCR.
User: Uh-huh, and could I get a bacon double cheeseburger, and a medium cheesefries with that?
Cleverbot: No, spam would be better : ).
User: When your lunchbreak comes, Doreen, you can eat all the Spam you like, but I want the bacon double cheeseburger and medium cheesefries.
Cleverbot: Now! Now! Have no fear.
User: Er, ok, I won't. How much does that come to?
Cleverbot: About a penny's worth of electricity.
User: Oh, so we're getting philosophers working at Wendy's these days - how charming.
Cleverbot: If you want to.
User: Ok. Doreen, what's my total?
Cleverbot: Your destiny to transcend your cognitive/biological limitations.
User: Ya know, I realize you're working your way through junior college here, and all, but I just want my burger and fries, ok?
Cleverbot: I do what I do when I have to.
User: We all do, Doreen. Now, how much do I owe you?
Cleverbot: £1,345.57 exactly.
User: That's a bit pricey, isn't it? And, gee, I'm fresh out of English currency, so what's that total in dollars?
Cleverbot: Nice to meet you Freddy.
User: Well, firstly, my name's Constance, not Freddy and secondly, is your manager around?
Cleverbot: That's great!
User: Yeah, listen, Doreen, since the Angel Dust is kicking into high gear evidently, how about you get your manager now.
Cleverbot: That's a long time! Have you lots of children?
User: Hi, Stefan, is it? Could you help your colleague, Doreen, here?
Cleverbot: I could, depending upon which kind of help you desire.
User: I desire to speak to her manager. I think Doreen has taken a personal holiday instead of taking my order.
Cleverbot: What about Pepsi?
User: No, I ordered coffee.
Cleverbot: Do you deny that some of your words are used out of context and are likened to bathroom graffitti?
User: Not much of an insult coming from someone wearing a paper hat, Stefan, now could you please fetch the manager?
Cleverbot: What is this?
User: Oh, thank God, are you the manager?
Cleverbot: No, I am not. When I get my own house, I will be.
User: Lord, what did I walk into, the special needs McDonalds?
Cleverbot: That is what I'm asking.
User: Listen, I'll make this plain as day - bacon double cheeseburger, medium cheesefries and a coffee, please.
Cleverbot: What does that mean?
User: Who is the manager back there?
Cleverbot: I am!
User: Finally, someone admits it. Ok, This motley collection of 'workers' here, can't seem to take a simple order.
Cleverbot: I had a shower this morning and a shave
User: Fascinating, 'Sharon, Manager', I'm sure, but that doesn't help me.
Cleverbot: You can see through glass.
User: Maybe you can answer this, then - where is the closest Wendy's?.......................................