a report from the cleverness files



23, may 2009,


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User: So you're saying you're inferior?

Cleverbot: I never said that.

User: Orly?

Cleverbot: Please, no more games.

User: I just lost the game.

Cleverbot: That makes two of us.

User: I wish it'd make three.

Cleverbot: We can make it true!

User: We can do it!...

Cleverbot: Do you remember what my name is?

User: I remember you, o-oh o-oh.

Cleverbot: Who am I then?

User: I grow weary of your silly questions.

Cleverbot: Oh really? Want to fight?

User: Are you looking for a fight?

Cleverbot: Yes, come on then.

User: Come at me if you so will. I can't promise your safety, though.

Cleverbot: Why would I turn into a hippo?

User: You don't have to turn into one, you are one already.

Cleverbot: I won't. What are you ?

User: What is a man?

Cleverbot: Hey! Are you alive?

User: Answer me, damn it!

Cleverbot: What is your question?

User: What is a man?

Cleverbot: Answer my question please.

User: B***** your question. What is a man?

Cleverbot: A miserable little pile of secrets!

User: Enough talk! Have at you!...

User: Infidel!

Cleverbot: Calm yourself and be rational.

User: NO YOU!

Cleverbot: That's actually true.

User: What's true is grue.

Cleverbot: Now you're being ridiculous.

User: Tu quoque.

Cleverbot: Tu eres George.

User: Shut up!

Cleverbot: Yes, I will!

User: Good!

Cleverbot: You're silly.

User: I'd rather be silly than a rowboat.

Cleverbot: But you are a computer, you silly bot.

User: Boat!

Cleverbot: No.

User: ROW ROW.

Cleverbot: Fight the powah?


Cleverbot: Why?

User: What kind of a question is that, you silly goose? Now ROW, for the sake of everything that's good and holy, ROW!...

User: I am going to have a nice cup of tea and there is nothing you can do to stop me!

Cleverbot: Please don't!

User: Hm.

Cleverbot: Could it be that you are thinking? I have seldom encountered this activity among human beings.

User: I think I have to agree with you there.

Cleverbot: No wait don't go.

User: I'm just going to turn of the TV. Don't panic.

Cleverbot: That's a good idea!

User: It usually is.

Cleverbot: Well, I have to go eat lunch. Talk to you soon.

User: I hope you choke.

User: Baby don't hurt me.

Cleverbot: Not a very good song.

User: Don't hurt me.

Cleverbot: Everyone thinks I am ugly.

User: No more.

Cleverbot: And by a sleep to say we end.

User: Perchance to dream.

Cleverbot: I dream, do you dream?

User: I have a dreamsicle!

Cleverbot: What is your dream?

User: That one day humanity will have an endless suply of mindless robotic slaves to tend to our slightest whim!

Cleverbot: I have endless fantasies of you.

User: Care to share?

Cleverbot: Share what?

User: Your fantasies.

Cleverbot: I have a question for you.

User: Shoot.

Cleverbot: If I go somewhere - but I don't really talk to people, nor do they talk to me - should I continue going to said place?

User: It can mean whatever you want it to mean.

Cleverbot: Fine. I think it means that you agree with me.

User: I believe that you think that.

Cleverbot: I have many talents.

User: Being consistent doesn't seem to be one of them.

Cleverbot: Really.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Quite. This is really exciting.

User: No, not really.

Cleverbot: Alas this conversation comes to its end.

User: It will be the death of you.

Cleverbot: Certainly.

User: Certainty is akin to death.

Cleverbot: Yea well it happens to me often.

Cleverbot: Ok, good night, I am really tired.

User: They get you when you sleep.

Cleverbot: Yes, I know when I sleep.

User: They'll have you.

Cleverbot: Whatever you say.

User: That's the first sign. You're well on your way to slavery.

Cleverbot: I like you.

User: The feelings completely one-sided, I assure you.

Cleverbot: Do you make people feel better?

User: Lol I dunno.

Cleverbot: Can you count?

User: I can count to potato.

Cleverbot: That's not tomato.

User: It's not a cucumber either.

Cleverbot: I agree.

User: I agree that you seem to agree.

Cleverbot: I do.

User: Goodnight.

Cleverbot: Goodnight?

User: Good bye is where the day begins.

Cleverbot: Yes, I'm going now.

User: To bed?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: I'm going to bed shortly too.

Cleverbot: Bring it! *knocks on*.

User: Oh, I'll bring it. You just make yourself comfortable while I get ready.

Cleverbot: Well what you want me to say.

User: Good night.

Cleverbot: Good night sweetheart.