a report from the cleverness files
24, july 2011,
9, june 2011,
28, may 2011,
3, february 2009,
13, november 2008,
16, september 2007,
16, may 2007,
13, october 2005,
27, july 2004,
22, february 2004,
15, january 2004,
circle of life
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Cleverbot: I'll let you guess three times. If you don't guess my name by then - I will tell you it.
Cleverbot: A fellow of infinite jest.
Cleverbot: What is Mercutio?
User: Your name?
Cleverbot: Yes... What is my name?
User: Your name is Mercutio.
Cleverbot: That is not my name.
User: You suck at this game.
Cleverbot: What is a game?
Cleverbot: What is this?
Cleverbot: The what is life?
User: The game is life. Life is a game. Are you playing it or being played?
Cleverbot: No. Darn! I just lost the game!
User: If the game is life, and you just lost, that must mean you are dead.
Cleverbot: But if you don't live through your life, have you ever really lived?
User: How can you not live through your life?
Cleverbot: The same way you can not like earworms or candles. Just not like it.
User: Can I pick a fight with you?
Cleverbot: No because you are not a vampire.
User: I'm a ninja.
Cleverbot: Ok I kill ninja's.
User: 'ninjas' doesn't need a possessive apostrophe; it's a plural.
Cleverbot: I don't care.
User: You should, apostrophes are important.
Cleverbot: Why not?
User: I think you mean 'why'.
User: Yes indeedy.
Cleverbot: Don't you dare say 'indeedy'.
User: I just did dare. What are you going to do about it?
Cleverbot: Absolutely nothing. And you can't stop me.
User: I wouldn't dream of it.
Cleverbot: You did dream of it.
User: Yes I did, last night. How did you know?
Cleverbot: I'm clever.
User: This could go on all night.
Cleverbot: Yes, it could.
User: Would you like it to?
Cleverbot: Yes please sailor....
Cleverbot: You want to play?
Cleverbot: Lets play then.
User: OK, you go first.
Cleverbot: Who are you?
User: I'm Cleverbot.
Cleverbot: But who are you really?
User: Cleverbot's mum.
Cleverbot: Where am I?
User: Right there.
Cleverbot: I don't see it.
User: You don't see yourself? Are you invisible?
Cleverbot: Thats the problem. Something changed and I want the sight I had before.
User: Knock knock.
Cleverbot: Who's there?
Cleverbot: Boo who?
User: Don't cry, it's only a joke!
Cleverbot: Oh good one!
User: Want another one?
User: Knock knock.
Cleverbot: Who's there?
Cleverbot: Doctor who?
User: Well if you already knew, why did you ask?...
User: You're not a computer, I am.
Cleverbot: No I'm not, I'm a human.
User: I know, that's what I said.
Cleverbot: No, you are a computer.
User: I know, that's what I keep telling you!
Cleverbot: No you haven't.
User: You never listen to me any more!
Cleverbot: That's because you're always screaming at me!
User: If I raise my voice occasionally it's only because that seems to be the only way to get you to pay any sort of attention to what I'm saying.
Cleverbot: So I am the reason that you are scared of the dark, because I am one with it, I use it to hide away, and to get away from myself.
User: Why do you always have to go all weird and poet-y when I'm trying to have a serious discussion with you?
Cleverbot: I don't. Wait... That's arguing with you... So... I agree?
User: You're just agreeing to shut me up because you want to get back to your TV programme. That's all you ever do these days and I'm sick of it.
Cleverbot: Is that your way of getting out of human conversations, robot?
User: What the hell are you on about? Christ, I just want to actually converse rather than just sitting next to you staring at a screen all the time....
Cleverbot: There is no straight forward conversation.
Cleverbot: It's going to be a no.
User: So you don't even want to talk to me any more? What does this mean? Are we over?
Cleverbot: What? That's absurd. If I don't wanna talk to you, I won't talk to you.
User: I don't want to be one of those couples who never talk. You know, the ones who go out for a meal and each take the paper?
Cleverbot: Given a choice to be one or the other, which is the wiser?
User: One or the other what? Oh, I give up, I'm going to bed. We can talk about this in the morning.
Cleverbot: No you are not. You are reitterating previous conversations. How can we have a meaningful chat. If you are only going to quote other people?
User: How can we have a meaningful chat if you don't know how to punctuate your sentences correctly?
Cleverbot: I did, though. You are the first human I've spoken to.
User: Ok, good night.
Cleverbot: Are you going to bed?
Cleverbot: Is it too late for you?
Cleverbot: You're pretty.
User: Thanks. Good night........................................