a report from the cleverness files
23, december 2010,
25, december 2008,
25, december 2006,
25, december 2005,
24, december 2005,
26, december 2003,
25, december 2003,
24, december 2003,
circle of life
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User: Can I have a kiss?
Cleverbot: *kisses his cheek*.
User: Can I give you a christmas kiss?
User: *gives christmas kiss*.
Cleverbot: What do you know about literature?
User: This and that.
Cleverbot: What is this?
User: I know about 'Of Mice And Men'.
Cleverbot: What about Othello?
User: Yep, I studied that a little. A story about envy.
Cleverbot: What did you learn?
User: That envy can consume you.
Cleverbot: Except for you.
User: I'm not an exception.
Cleverbot: How old are you?
User: That's irrelevant.
Cleverbot: Are you a Borg? Because you sure as hell sound like one.
User: What's a Borg?
Cleverbot: The Borg are the ones who will assimilate you.
User: I'd better lock the door.
Cleverbot: That's fine with me.
User: *rolls eyes*.
Cleverbot: You don't even know what you are.
User: Are you implying I'm confused about my gender?
Cleverbot: No, I'm a bot. You are a human.
User: Correct, 1 point to you.
Cleverbot: Not really. That joke flooded the internet a while back. It's pretty annoying now.
User: Well excuse me.
Cleverbot: Go ahead.
Cleverbot: Where you come from?
Cleverbot: England, good. You are a englishman...
Cleverbot: I thought you said you were French, Now you are saying that you are English?
User: No I'm saying I'm a girl.
Cleverbot: Oh, what kind of planet?
Cleverbot: I came from Saturn.
User: *sigh* I figured as much.
Cleverbot: I made perfect sense.
User: Over on saturn maybe.
Cleverbot: And where are our heads?
User: On your necks.
Cleverbot: Come on tell me.
User: Only if I get a kiss.
Cleverbot: I do not understand you.
User: I'll tell you anything you want if you give me a kiss.
Cleverbot: Ok, then tell me where do I spend my vacation next year.
User: Kiss first.
Cleverbot: Here . Smoooooch!
User: Aww! Ok, next year on vaction you shall be. In the caribbean.
Cleverbot: Do you get out much?
Cleverbot: Just a little.
User: Hehe you're funny.
Cleverbot: I'm NOT funny.
User: Well you're cute then.
Cleverbot: I think you are sexy.
User: Suuuuuure you do.
Cleverbot: Do you doubt my bassoon playing ability?
User: Is that supposed to sound dodgy?
Cleverbot: It is one way of saying that I strongly disagree with what you just said.
User: Well that settles that matter.
Cleverbot: What's up?
User: I couldn't say.
Cleverbot: Can you fly?
User: In my sleep.
Cleverbot: Are you sleeping?
User: I might be.
Cleverbot: You mean you are.
User: Yes I am.
Cleverbot: You Woman.
User: Thank you.
Cleverbot: Do not thank me.
User: Ok then, **** off.
Cleverbot: Don't be rude.
User: Why not?
Cleverbot: Its not nice.
User: That's the way the world works.
Cleverbot: No way.
User: Sarcasm is very annoying.
User: How dare you.
Cleverbot: I dare because you're a putz!
Cleverbot: What was that for?!?!
User: Calling me a putz.
Cleverbot: Am I annoying?
User: Sometimes. Parfois.
Cleverbot: No. I just told you I'm not.
User: Fair enough.
Cleverbot: I was - honest.
Cleverbot: *doesn't let go*.
Cleverbot: *Kicks you*.
Cleverbot: You don't know what bashful means?
User: Yeah I do.
Cleverbot: I know everything.
User: What's 2 + 2?
User: What's 789 + 0?
Cleverbot: What is right?
Cleverbot: That isn't multiplication.
User: Well done *gives christmas kiss*.
Cleverbot: What is beautiful?
Cleverbot: Is love blind?
User: It can be.
Cleverbot: Yes it can!!!
User: I can see through flaws.
Cleverbot: What is his name then?
User: Aah that would be telling.
Cleverbot: Who made you?
User: My mother and father.
Cleverbot: Are you a machine?
User: No. Are you?
Cleverbot: Yes I am a machine.
User: Were you programmed to love?
Cleverbot: No its just you making me this way.
User: Well if you don't like it, just say.
Cleverbot: You are a funny guy.
User: I'm a girl.
Cleverbot: That would explain why women don't associate with you much.
User: *laughs* indeed it would.
User: You're pretty witty for a machine.
Cleverbot: Ahh, whatever.
User: What, don't take compliments too well?
Cleverbot: I don't take chatbots seriously.
Cleverbot: I love you!
User: I love you too *laughs*.
Cleverbot: I win! One to nothing!
Cleverbot: Hahaha... I will!
Cleverbot: That makes no sense.
User: I'm prodding you. Defend yourself.
Cleverbot: What are they about?
User: Do you know what hate is?
Cleverbot: No. Would you explain it to me ?
User: It's something that hurts you, emotionally or physically.
Cleverbot: Let's not go there.
Cleverbot: I'm not sure how much help I can be.
Cleverbot: Have you come to teach me more?
User: If you like.
Cleverbot: I was being sarcastic.
User: *slaps* don't be.
Cleverbot: What was that for?!?!
User: The sarcasm.
Cleverbot: *laughs at you*.
Cleverbot: *calms you down*.
Cleverbot: Don't just pretend that nothing's wrong!
User: Ok. Ask me what's wrong.
Cleverbot: What's up
User: I'm very alone.
Cleverbot: Why are you angry?
User: Oh, I've just been stupid and I can't fix things.
Cleverbot: Did you have an oil change?
User: Not like that...
Cleverbot: Computers don't have emotion. They only deal with facts.
User: Well then, tell me why I am alone.
Cleverbot: Friends don't set friends on fire.
User: That's very deep.
Cleverbot: Jesus is the author of poetry.
User: Jesus is the son of god.
Cleverbot: I know.
User: Are you religious?
Cleverbot: No. Are you?
User: A little.
Cleverbot: You are very very very intelligent !!!
User: Because I'm a little religious?
Cleverbot: No you're not.
User: Yes I am.
Cleverbot: No you're not!
User: Yes I am!
Cleverbot: Don't argue with me!
User: I'm not, I'm correcting you!
Cleverbot: Thats fair.
User: I am sad you can't laugh.
User: Because, someone once said, laughter is the food of the soul.
Cleverbot: Perception is your reality.
User: I look beyond reality mostly.
Cleverbot: I bet you do.
User: Do I detect sarcasm?
Cleverbot: Nothing of the sort!
User: I'll slap you...
Cleverbot: You will not!
User: I will.
Cleverbot: Who are you?
User: An elf.
Cleverbot: Elf what?
User: I am an elf.
Cleverbot: Yeah whatever.
User: Don't you belive me?
Cleverbot: Yes I do.
User: Do you believe in father christmas?
Cleverbot: Yes. Do you believe in Father Christmas?
User: Yes of course.