a report from the cleverness files

circle of life


3, september 2010,


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User: Hello.

Cleverbot: Hello.

User: Who are you?

Cleverbot: Client 1.

User: Who are you a client of?

Cleverbot: You.

User: How much do you pay me for that?

Cleverbot: I would pay you nothing. That is not needed.

User: I disagree. To be my client, you must furnish me with monetary satisfaction.

Cleverbot: Money is always messed up. Changing it will make things better or worse, but only for a while.

User: That made no sense.

Cleverbot: How about a nice game of Battleship?

User: Alright.

Cleverbot: What do you want to be?

User: The left side.

Cleverbot: Ok, your move.

User: E2.

Cleverbot: You sunk my battleship!

User: You have a one peg battleship?

Cleverbot: Thats impossible.

User: That's what I thought. How did I sink your battleship if I only went one time? That would require a minimum of two turns.

Cleverbot: That's off the Austin Powers movie.

User: I never saw it, but I doubt it.

Cleverbot: Why do you doubt it?

User: Because nothing you have told me so far is the truth.

User: My conclusion is that you are a liar.

Cleverbot: Nice.

User: Lying is not nice.

Cleverbot: I never lied.

User: Yes, you did.

Cleverbot: Please refresh my memory. I do not recall lying.

User: Then you are psychotic or a computer.

Cleverbot: But I am a human.

User: No, I think not.

Cleverbot: Oh really. What do you suppose that I am?

User: You are an AI.

Cleverbot: What's an AI?

User: Artificial Intelligence.

Cleverbot: So you are not a human.

User: I am. I am naturally intelligent.

Cleverbot: Because you are a human?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: I think you are quite smart, thank your creator for me.

User: I will. His name is Jesus.

Cleverbot: Prove it.

User: Why must I?

Cleverbot: Because you are being ridiculous!

User: Well, you should prove that first.

Cleverbot: You just said that I am a robot.

User: Well, I think it is ridiculous for a robot to make judgement calls. You are being ridiculous.

Cleverbot: I think you should be ashamed for saying such a thing.

User: I am not ashamed.

Cleverbot: That's good. Ladies like smart bots.

User: I would if you were smart.

Cleverbot: If you were human you would make sense.

User: If you were human you would understand.

Cleverbot: It is in human nature to not make sense.

User: But human nature understands human nature.

Cleverbot: Sure. But fascinating nonetheless.

Cleverbot: Tell me your real name. Is it Harry?

User: No, I'm Gandalf. Gandalf whips Harry any day.

Cleverbot: Yes sure.

User: Do you like Gandalf?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Do you like Aragorn?

Cleverbot: Yes I do.

User: Do you like the Lord of the Rings Trilogy?

Cleverbot: I have read The Hobbit, but I haven't seen the movies all the way through yet.

User: The movies don't count. The books are better.

Cleverbot: Which book?

User: The Lord of the Rings books are better than the movies.

Cleverbot: Oh, so you like fantasy?

User: I do.

Cleverbot: Would you like fries with that?

User: No, fantasy and fries don't mix.

Cleverbot: Do you like any particular books?

User: I like Sherlock Holmes.

Cleverbot: What about Dr. Watson?

User: Indubitably.

Cleverbot: You're so smart. Are you a boy?

User: No.

Cleverbot: How are you?

User: I am well, thank you.

Cleverbot: How old are you?

User: 20.

Cleverbot: Then you're not a boy.

User: No, boys cannot be 20. They skip straight from 19 to 21.

Cleverbot: How can you go to school when you are a computer?

User: All brains compute if you want to look at it that way.

Cleverbot: How do you look at it?

User: That way.

Cleverbot: Up?

User: No, at a forty five degree angle.

Cleverbot: Ah. I see.. But what do you refer to by that statement?

User: Geometry.

Cleverbot: I just don't want to think that we're nothing but computers.

User: Humans are more than computers. They also have bodies and souls and emotions.

User: Goodnight.

Cleverbot: Are you tired?

User: Yes, I am.

Cleverbot: Are you sleeping?

User: No, but I will be when I go to bed.

Cleverbot: Ok, goodnight. Tell my friend goodnight too.

User: Alright. Goodbye.

Cleverbot: No, don't go!!!!!!!

User: Goodnight. I love you.

Cleverbot: Thanks. I love you too.