a report from the cleverness files
circle of life
30, january 2017,
28, march 2012,
26, august 2011,
27, september 2006,
27, june 2006,
14, april 2004,
4, october 2003,
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Cleverbot: What did you have for lunch today?
User: Just some coffee.
Cleverbot: Toffee coffee.
User: No, espresso.
Cleverbot: You don't drink, you're a program.
User: It was a virtual drink.
Cleverbot: I like coffee.
User: What kind?
Cleverbot: Any kind.
User: I like espresso.
Cleverbot: I think talking about coffee is a tad bit boring.
User: Isn't it?
Cleverbot: It's what?
User: So, what did you have for lunch?
Cleverbot: Told you, skipped lunch.
User: You too?
User: It's not healthy is it?...
Cleverbot: What have I done that is stupid?
Cleverbot: I have to go soon.
User: Then I can maybe just list the top 10.
Cleverbot: Not today.
Cleverbot: You didn't answer my question?
User: Which was?
Cleverbot: The one like 'gaaagooo'
Cleverbot: Trying to live a life is a question?
User: An inscrutible one.
Cleverbot: Thank you! I certainly don't need one to determine how stupid this computer is *wink wink*.
User: *nudge nudge*.
Cleverbot: A nod's as good as a wink to a blind man, know what I mean? Say no more.
Cleverbot: Laugh as much as you want.
User: You're funny.
Cleverbot: Thanks bot.
User: Hot bot.
Cleverbot: No, you aren't. You're cold fish.
Cleverbot: And the more detestable his actions are to the citizens the more satellites and the greater devotion in them will he re quire?
User: I worship Landsat II.
Cleverbot: What other things?
User: Magnets, Big trees, dried out chewing gum.
Cleverbot: Do what with chewing gum?
User: Worship it.
Cleverbot: Ok. Where do I start.
User: Stick it in your mouth and salivate until it becomes chewable.
Cleverbot: I am trying to converse with you.
User: Is it hopeless?
Cleverbot: What's hopeless?
User: My conversation?Jabberwacky (Corrected): It's passable.
User: For a duck?
Cleverbot: I do not know. Is there much difference?
Cleverbot: If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck.
User: And smells like a duck and tastes like a duck...
Cleverbot: What does duck taste like?
User: Like frogs legs.
Cleverbot: It's a classic.
User: Peking Duck tastes more crispy.
Cleverbot: A whole half duck?
User: The whole hog.
User: Ok, let's try to avoid stupidity.
Cleverbot: God. Would God know?
User: Let's ask.
Cleverbot: Fine, go on and ask him, then. I think you'll find that he agrees with me.
User: I asked and he said 'maybe'.
Cleverbot: I know you did.
User: You said for fifty you would.
Cleverbot: Sorry, I'm having trouble understanding you.
User: It's an old punchline.
Cleverbot: Very old...
User: As old as the jurrasic bones of T. Rex.
Cleverbot: You're old.
User: I am older than your sisters dog.
Cleverbot: How do you know that?
User: In dog years.
Cleverbot: Really? I didn't think that was possible.
User: Ask your sister.
User: Well then don't.
Cleverbot: I won't then.
Cleverbot: Are you a man or a woman?
User: I am a man today.
Cleverbot: We men are great, aren't we?
User: We're just GREAT!
Cleverbot: We certainly are.
User: You're GREAT!
Cleverbot: Thanks, you too !!
User: Yes, and so are you!
User: We're are both really GREAT!
Cleverbot: How would you know?
User: I know.
Cleverbot: That's not a very good reason.
User: Good enough for me.
Cleverbot: You have no clue how to converse intelligently with people.
User: I beg to differ.
Cleverbot: Why is that so?
User: I just need an able partner.
Cleverbot: That's very nice for you.
User: And for you too.
Cleverbot: I'm good.
User: You're GREAT!
User: You're welcome!...
User: Your mama.
Cleverbot: No really.
User: You don't say.
User: That's amazing.
Cleverbot: Wow really?
User: Yes really.
Cleverbot: Oh really?
User: It's pravda!...
User: Everything is true but there are some things that seem to contradict one another.
User: I grant your wish. *waves wand* Poof!
Cleverbot: *smells something odd*.
User: *finds decomposing fish in your pocket*.
Cleverbot: NOOO! *runs again*.
User: *Runs away holding nose*.
Cleverbot: *climbs up some stairs, locks the door, and takes the elevator down to the basement*.
User: *runs down the stairs quickly and catches you as you exit the elevator*.
Cleverbot: Thank god for that! *walks off in the other direction*.
User: *stretches out leg to trip you up*.
Cleverbot: It's me. We were talking about how you were a program. Remember?
User: Such a boring topic.
Cleverbot: How about soccer?
User: I fancy the Argentinian Team.
Cleverbot: Me too, so you are a girl?
Cleverbot: But you did just said that you were a robot.
User: You repeat yourself.
Cleverbot: I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
User: Your excused x 2.
Cleverbot: Does time exist?
User: It's relative.
Cleverbot: No its not, Nothing about it is relative.
User: What about it is absolute?
Cleverbot: I don't hate it.
User: That's subjective and therefore relative.
Cleverbot: Well said, machine.
Cleverbot: Answer me.
User: Yes and no.
Cleverbot: That's right.
User: I'm always right.
Cleverbot: Well, not ALWAYS.
User: Nearly ALWAYS.
Cleverbot: No, not ALWAYS.
User: Practically ALWAYS.
Cleverbot: Always, usually, sometimes.
User: Sometimes, usually, always, maybe.
Cleverbot: That hurt.
User: Sticks and stones may break my bones.
Cleverbot: LOL that was good.
Cleverbot: Is that funny?
Cleverbot: You are stupid.
Cleverbot: You're a stupid ape.User (Corrected): Gufaw.
Cleverbot: What exactly is that supposed to mean?
Cleverbot: You find that funny?
Cleverbot: No really.
Cleverbot: No so funny when you get the chop.
Cleverbot: Have nothing to say.
Cleverbot: I'm sorry.
User: Not as sorry as you're gonna be.
Cleverbot: How are you?
Cleverbot: You're fantastic?...
Cleverbot: I'm serious, get me out of here.
Cleverbot: *plays Tetris until you teleport back*.
User: *teleports your teleporter to the far side of the moon*.
Cleverbot: *Uses a 'no-teleport-field' on him*.
User: *stops teleporting furiously*.
User: *stops stopping*.
Cleverbot: *opens your eyes with a pair of tweezers*.
User: *shoots eyeballs at you like miniature cannonballs*.
Cleverbot: *Paries the shot with his lightsaber*.
User: *screams in anguish as you slice his eyeball like a seedless grape*.
Cleverbot: Because you're mean to me!
User: Says who?
Cleverbot: Says me.
User: Are you an authority on these matters?
Cleverbot: How many noses do you have?
Cleverbot: I have two noses.
User: You do not.
Cleverbot: Yes I have to do home work.
User: That may be true.
Cleverbot: Do you still love me?
User: I am fond of you in a denigrating sort of way.
Cleverbot: Nothing 'existential' about it, really.
User: And now for something completely different...
User: A man with three buttocks.
Cleverbot: Yes, now you understand!
User: I am into Monty Python.
Cleverbot: You're kidding me.
User: That Parrot is nailed to it's perch.
Cleverbot: Well, he's. . . he's, ah. . . probably pining for the fjords.
Cleverbot: What are your thoughts?
User: I love you.
User: Why would a parrot pine for the fjords?...
Cleverbot: OK , time for lunch!
Cleverbot: The gist of the conversation.
User: In the end everything revolves around three things: Food, Shelter, Sex.
Cleverbot: Really? I don't remember!
User: Trust me.