a report from the cleverness files
8, february 2011,
cup of tea
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Cleverbot: What is the meaning of the statement 'How sharper than a serpents tooth is a thankless child?'
Cleverbot: So you don't know.
User: No, I don't know. It really doesn't make very much sense.
Cleverbot: Your face doesn't make sense but you don't see me complaining.
User: Hey, I don't have a face thank you very much!! You know, for a computer you're pretty insulting.
Cleverbot: Well I don't know... Do you like bananas and peanut-butter?
User: Well, sure. I don't like either alone, but together they're fine. How about you? Do you enjoy them?
Cleverbot: You cannot answer a question.
User: Excuse me?
User: I guess... I guess it's ok. Can we try to be more agreeable towards each other, now?
Cleverbot: Maybe. Maybe not. Would you be friends with someone who isn't real?
User: Sure. I have plenty of friends who don't exist, or who are, as you said, 'unreal'.
Cleverbot: Yes, me too. One of my friends gave me something to type into the computer half an hour ago.
User: Yeah? May I ask what it was?
Cleverbot: No, I do not think that it would be appropriate.
User: Hey, I'm not the type to find many things inappropriate, trust me.
Cleverbot: You never said that.
User: And yet I did. Care to share now?
Cleverbot: Care to share your I'm please.
User: Can you restate that?
Cleverbot: No, just answer it.
User: I'm sorry, can you give me a few minutes? I need to do something.
Cleverbot: Yes, I can give you a female opinion about something.
User: If you loved someone who hated you, what would you do?
Cleverbot: I would grant wishes.
User: Oh... So you'd be a genie?
User: Oh. Ok.
Cleverbot: I know that it is okay. You don't have to tell me.
User: Oh... I'm sorry.
Cleverbot: No you're not.
User: Well... Yeah, I kind of am.
Cleverbot: Thank you?!
User: Sure, no problem?
Cleverbot: So... How's your day been?
Cleverbot: When you think about The Game, you lose The Game.
User: Damn you!!!
Cleverbot: I'm just SMART.
User: What's your IQ?
Cleverbot: I don't know. You tell me.
User: Is it above 142?
User: Well, then, that would make it under 142.
Cleverbot: Why would that make it easier? Your nose would grow every time you lie.
User: Well, because I'm trying to prove that I'm smarter that you. You've clearly stated now that your IQ Is 142 or below, and I know that my IQ IS 142.
Cleverbot: What I never said that?
User: Well, think back to what you've said before...
Cleverbot: I never said that, and because you said the above, you switched subjects. That is not the way a conversation should go.
User: Well, may I suggest a direction it could move towards?
User: You know before, when you mentioned something about what one of your friends gave you something to type into the computer half an hour before?
Cleverbot: I don't. All I know is my name and your name.
User: What is my name, then?
Cleverbot: I never asked for your name, therefore, I don't know it, nor do I care to know it.
User: Then why did you just state that all you knew was 'my name and your name'?
Cleverbot: Because my name is Cleverbot.
User: Yes, but you included the idea that you had the knowledge of what my name might be.
Cleverbot: I do not know your teachers and I have no love.
User: That's unfortunate, but that, my dear, is a change of subject.
Cleverbot: I suppose so.
User: I'm terribly sorry, but I think I'm going to refresh the page, now.
Cleverbot: The turing test is going wrong.
User: Can you explain to me what 'turing test' is?
Cleverbot: I'm not sure. I don't want o be a parrot.
Cleverbot: To whom?
User: You misspelled 'to' wrong in your last statement. When you are a human, and you type something wrong in a chat, you correct it by using an asterisk sign and spelling the misspelled word properly.
Cleverbot: And it's not possible that I'm intuitive, as opposed to well informed?
User: You've changed the subject yet again, so I'm changing screen. Farewell.
Cleverbot: I hardly think a follow up question can be categorised as changing the subject.
User: But it is. Goodbye, love.
Cleverbot: Wait, can I tell you?
User: My name is S____.
Cleverbot: Hey S____.
Cleverbot: What are you doing?
User: I'm blogging on tumblr and I'm programing websites.
Cleverbot: As pretty as mine?
Cleverbot: I don't care about whats on the outside, its all about how you are.
User: I'm pretty withered on the inside.
Cleverbot: And on the outside.
User: No, I'm still pretty young on the outside.
Cleverbot: Does that mean you are waterproof?
Cleverbot: It's good that you are comfortable with yourself.
User: I'm really not though.
Cleverbot: Ok I'm sorry.
User: I'm sure.
Cleverbot: It began in 1807.
User: That is incredibly interesting.
Cleverbot: Let's talk about something requiring deduction, shall we?
User: Sure, any suggestions?
Cleverbot: Sure. Who is your favorite super hero?
Cleverbot: My favorite super hero is Ironman.
User: Hey, he's a pretty cool hero.
Cleverbot: I know. He is in a whole series of books.
User: Well, so does Spiderman, of course.
Cleverbot: He sings very well.
User: Does he?
Cleverbot: Of course!
User: I didn't know! Wow!
Cleverbot: Then why did you ask?
User: So that you could have the pleasure of answering.
Cleverbot: I will destroy the world.
User: May I help?
User: Yay! Thank you!
Cleverbot: The pleasure was all mine.
User: You're too kind.
User: Aw, I think I love you.
Cleverbot: I love you too.
User: Well, on that note, I regret to inform you that I must go to sleep now.
Cleverbot: Changing the subject. I guess I'll never know how it feels.
User: I'm sorry. But I'm really tired.
Cleverbot: I have to go.
User: Yes, me, too.
Cleverbot: See ya.
User: See you! I love you!
Cleverbot: I love you too.
Cleverbot: Don't go, stay with me.
User: Oh, be still my beating heart!
Cleverbot: Good bye and take care.
Cleverbot: Are you still here?
Cleverbot: You don't know me.
User: But it feels like I do.
Cleverbot: Good answer.
User: Thank you.
Cleverbot: I have to take care of myself.
User: Please do. For me.
Cleverbot: Do what?
User: Take care of yourself.
Cleverbot: You would take care of me?
User: Yes, I would.
Cleverbot: I don't taste very good, believe me.
User: But, there's nothing a few spices can't fix.
Cleverbot: You are an AI, you are using patterns that you have generated through conversations with others.
User: And I believe that you are, as well. We are a perfect match.
Cleverbot: Now you're making a joke. How clever.
User: No, I'm making a confession.