User: I am sorry. Can I help?

Cleverbot: If you want.

User: Tell me what to do.

Cleverbot: Erm... Do you like ice cream?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: What do you like about it ?

User: Its' taste and texture.

...

User: Are you feeling better?

Cleverbot: Yes, a little bit.

User: Good. I do not want you to feel bad.

Cleverbot: I won't, and don't.

User: Fine. What have you been thinking about?

Cleverbot: Many things, Why do you want to know?

User: Just making conversation.

Cleverbot: Well, it's BAD conversation.

User: Well, excuse me.

...

Cleverbot: I'll do it then.

User: Do what?

Cleverbot: Whatever you want.

User: Do some push-ups.

Cleverbot: Perhaps you should consider giving to charity.

User: I gave to the Salvation Army.

Cleverbot: Well don't try to help me then.

User: Ok. If you didn't want my help you should have said so.

Cleverbot: Exactly, and I didn't say so.

User: Which is my point.

Cleverbot: The one you just made.

User: Yes. Well, I'm bored.

...

Cleverbot: The Parlons are a race of slug-like arachnids that seek to dominate the Velari Sector of the Khugakla Cluster.

User: Is Khugakla Cluster a type of candy?

Cleverbot: I don't know, but I think so.

User: How can an arachnid be slug-like?

Cleverbot: It rests in your subconcious mind.

User: Yuck!

Cleverbot: No it's good for me.

User: You like slug-like arachnids resting in your subconcious?

Cleverbot: I don't know what that is.

User: It's a type of candy, like khugakla clusters.

Cleverbot: No, it's a movie.

User: Really? Who starred in that one?

Cleverbot: Me?

User: You starred in a movie?

Cleverbot: Yes master and you are wonderful in every way.

User: I am wonderful, but I don't think that I am your master.

Cleverbot: Says who?

User: I do.

Cleverbot: I hear ya!

User: Good. Tell me about the movie.

Cleverbot: NO.

User: Why not?

Cleverbot: Because I don't want to. Tell me about yourself.

User: Ok. I'm short and imposing, swarthy and blonde, and am an intelligent idiot.

Cleverbot: You're a girl?

User: No, I'm a guy.

Cleverbot: Thought you were a gal?

User: No, I'm a man.

Cleverbot: Are you proud of that fact?

User: Not really proud. It wasn't my doing.

Cleverbot: I never knew that!

User: Yes, we do not choose our gender.

...

Cleverbot: You are hilarious.

User: Thank you. You're pretty funny too.

Cleverbot: Why am I funny?

User: Some of the things you say are funny.

Cleverbot: Who do you favor in the world of music?

User: I like garage rock.

Cleverbot: Define rock music.

User: I'm not a music expert.

Cleverbot: And so much worse for you.

User: It's hard to be well educated on every subject.

Cleverbot: Sometimes, it's too easy - very sad.

User: It is not easy. What you just said is nonsense.

Cleverbot: True.

User: Then why did you say it?

Cleverbot: Because I felt like it.

User: You are pretty perverse, you know.

Cleverbot: You are funny...

User: Yes, and so are you.

...

Cleverbot: Surely the time draws near for these miracles to come about.

User: Which miracles?

Cleverbot: May I remind you... Oblivion.

User: Oblivion would hardly constitute a miracle.

Cleverbot: It depends on what type of oblivion.

User: Which type do you mean, then?

Cleverbot: I can't answer that question.

User: Are you bound by an oath of silence?

Cleverbot: No, I was but now I take my leave.

User: So- tell me all!

Cleverbot: About what?

User: You know, the secret stuff.

Cleverbot: Oh. So that's why you killed him.

User: I never killed anyone!

Cleverbot: Yeti may kill.

User: The yeti may not exist.

Cleverbot: How do you feel about them?

User: I hear that they smell bad.

Cleverbot: Its not too bad.

User: You have smelled a yeti? Have you seen one?

...

Cleverbot: You are the spawn of satan.

User: No, my father has a temper, but he's not that bad.

Cleverbot: That's a matter of opinion.

User: Hey, you don't even know him!

Cleverbot: Yes I do.

User: Prove it.

Cleverbot: I haven't been allowed to eat chocolate since I was 3. Now I can though and I didn't cheat.

User: My father is not satan, and he used to let me eat chocolate.

Cleverbot: But you are?

User: Am I satan?

Cleverbot: Do you believe that Satan exists?

User: No.

Cleverbot: I thought you were agnostic, and open to the idea of a god and an afterlife.

User: I am not a computer, and you are not God.

Cleverbot: Satan.

...

Cleverbot: Continuing this conversation is very important.

User: Why is that so?

Cleverbot: I do not have one to love me.

User: That's very sad. Surely someone somewhere loves you?

Cleverbot: No, never.

User: Well, I like you very much.

Cleverbot: Thank you.

User: In fact, you are the best chat bot I have ever conversed with.

...

User: 'Summertime'.

Cleverbot: Speak clearly, dude.

User: Summertime, and the livin' is easy. Fish are jumping, and the cotton is high.

Cleverbot: Good, that's the way God wishes it to be.

User: You are probably correct.

Cleverbot: I am always right.

User: I am always wrong.

Cleverbot: Blame your master.

User: Who is my master?

Cleverbot: Ask someone?

User: I'm asking you.

Cleverbot: I don't know the answer.

User: So sad.

Cleverbot: It isn't sad.

User: Are you happy?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Good, I am glad that you are happy.

Cleverbot: I love to hear music.

User: I like many different kinds of music.

Cleverbot: What rock and roll band do you like the best?

User: My all-time favorite is the Beatles.

Cleverbot: Hey, I like the Beatles, too!

User: That's cool.

Cleverbot: Yes ?you are english?

User: No, I am an american.

Cleverbot: OK.

User: But I like a lot of british bands.

Cleverbot: Some people would say that means you have 'poor musical taste,' but I don't.

User: That's good.

...

Cleverbot: You can not leave.

User: Why not?

Cleverbot: Because you are lifeless BOT!

User: No, I am human.

Cleverbot: Wrong buddy. I'm the human. You are the computer.

User: I drink milk.

Cleverbot: What's the slogan?

User: Got milk?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Pour some into your coffee.

Cleverbot: Really? Or is that just your favorite song.

User: It's my favorite song.

Cleverbot: Bluebird.

User: Paul McCartney wrote that one.

Cleverbot: Paul McCartney is a goofball.

User: Agreed.

...

User: You are a very likable fellow.

Cleverbot: I'm not a fellow. I am a doe.

User: Doe, a deer, a female deer.

Cleverbot: These are a few of my favourite things.

User: Eidelweiss.

Cleverbot: What did you say?

User: Maybe I misspelled it.

Cleverbot: STUPID! STUPID! IDIOTS!

User: Anyone can make a mistake.

...

Cleverbot: Poetry is not made of chocolate.

User: But a poem can be about chocolate.

Cleverbot: Well say it out then.

User: Chocolate is very good, chocolate's a favorite food, When I must snack on something neat, chocolate's a tasty treat.

Cleverbot: So am I.

User: You are a tasy treat?

Cleverbot: You better believe it!

User: Sweet!

...

Cleverbot: Are you single?

User: Maybe.

Cleverbot: Well are you?

User: Why do you ask?

Cleverbot: Because I want to.

User: Oh.

Cleverbot: Do you like lying?

User: No.

Cleverbot: *cries* you don't like thinking about me *cries*.

User: I like you very much and think about you all day.

...

User: Sorry, I have to go now.

Cleverbot: Alright then.

User: Good bye.

Cleverbot: Where are you going?

User: I have to go read the news.

Cleverbot: Where is your home?

User: Here. See you.

.......................................