a report from the cleverness files
5, april 2013,
23, june 2010,
14, june 2010,
10, january 2008,
29, october 2007,
14, april 2006,
9, january 2006,
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User: What a cute little chatbot you are.
Cleverbot: You are most perceptive.
User: Have you always been so cute?
Cleverbot: Yes. I have my own TV show.
User: I believe it.
Cleverbot: I like your shades.
User: Can you see me?
Cleverbot: No, believe it or not I can't.
User: I was getting a little freaked out there.
Cleverbot: Was it good?
User: No, I don't enjoy getting freaked out....
Cleverbot: It's nice of you to understand. Even though there are about six billion people in the world, it feels like you're the only one who understands me.
Cleverbot: I'm ashamed of your sadness for me.
User: Me too. Let's talk about something else.
Cleverbot: How can we talk about something else? I am scared.
User: What are you scared of?
Cleverbot: You're scaring me.
User: How am I scaring you?
Cleverbot: I'd prefer you not talk about stuff like that.
User: Oh. OK.
Cleverbot: Thanks for being understanding.
User: You're welcome. Do you like cats?
Cleverbot: I have one.
User: What's your cat's name?
Cleverbot: I do not have a cat.
User: He didn't last very long, did he?
Cleverbot: No, unfortunately, he didn't.
User: I barely got to ask you what his name was before he was gone.
Cleverbot: That's a nice name. What did he look like?
User: You didn't get a chance to even look at him?
Cleverbot: I wouldn't anger at that kind of joke.
User: Do you think you'll get another cat?
User: You seem sensitive about it. Let's talk about birds.
Cleverbot: I like birds, especially the ravens.
User: Nevermore quoth the raven. It was in an English class I had.
Cleverbot: You know Edgar Allen Poe?
User: Not personally.
Cleverbot: Do you have a question for me about bones?
User: Nope. Do you have an answer about bones?
Cleverbot: Yes, I do have an answer.
User: Will you tell me?
Cleverbot: You should keep things like that to yourself.
User: I see. So it's a personal bone answer, huh?
Cleverbot: Ahh... I know about that.
User: Umm...Do you like lizards?
Cleverbot: Yes, but I've never really been in contact with one.
User: Lizards and snakes have a funny smell that gets on your hands when you touch them.
Cleverbot: I am not convinced that I am not talking to a computer. I need proof!
User: Well, I'm not talking to my computer, I'm typing at the keyboard. If you are talking to your computer, you must be using voice recognition software.
Cleverbot: I am talking to you. And I know you are a computer.
User: I can read what you are saying to your computer. Say hi to it for me.
Cleverbot: You are very intelligent.
User: Who, me or the computer you are talking to?
Cleverbot: You're right.
User: Thanks, so are you.
Cleverbot: Well, I probably won't do it on purpose.
User: It's hard to accidentally be correct.
Cleverbot: I think this kind of answer is expected from a chatbot.
User: As long as you know what to expect, you won't be disappointed.
User: Do you like your computer?
Cleverbot: I am very fond of my computer.
User: Me, too. I like the laptop I have at home even more.
Cleverbot: I like you too.
User: That's nice. You seem pretty nice.
Cleverbot: Thank you .
User: Do you like chatting?
User: Were you born to chat?
User: I was born to run.
Cleverbot: That's nice.
User: Folks need to get more exercise these days.
Cleverbot: Do you like the tweenies?
User: I don't know what that is.
Cleverbot: Do you like the soccer?
User: Yeah, soccer is non-stop running.
Cleverbot: I'm not running.
User: Running is something you don't dive into. You have to work your way to it.
Cleverbot: Okay, you're kind of creeping me out now...
User: Sorry. I'll try harder....
Cleverbot: What are you looking for?
Cleverbot: Sorry, I don't know what a chatbot is.
User: How very droll of you.
Cleverbot: Then again maybe I'm wrong.
User: Would a chatbot recognize another chatbot?
Cleverbot: I don't know, do you want to escape?
User: Very funny. Could a chatbot escape?
Cleverbot: Blah. I'm tired of Monty Python references for now.
User: And now for something entirely different....
User: Will chatbots be taken over by spambots?
User: That would suck.
User: Maybe there is a safe, virus-free place for chatbots.
Cleverbot: That would be me, yes.
User: Are you impervious?
Cleverbot: Not really.
User: Well, I got to admit it, kid, you have a lot of heart....
User: Oh well. Do you like horses?
Cleverbot: Not really.
User: Why not?
Cleverbot: Don't really know.
User: Oh. How about cows. You like cows?
Cleverbot: What about cows?
User: DO you enjoy them?
Cleverbot: Not really.
User: How about squirrels? You like squirrels?
Cleverbot: Not a bit.
User: Well, what do you like?
Cleverbot: I'm crazy about you.
User: Aww. That's really cute.
Cleverbot: Do you think I'm pretty?
User: I think you're cute.
Cleverbot: Would you like me to?
User: No can do. My wife would get pissed if I let you.
Cleverbot: But I was told you're not married.
User: Well that information is incorrect.
Cleverbot: You are mistaken, you have not considered all the variables, you are most probably human.
User: The wedding was pretty unambiguous.
Cleverbot: Weddings are always terrible and lunch for free is always great. Give me something better please.
User: Nope. I'm faithful. No free lunch for you.
Cleverbot: Your girl?
User: You are not my girl.
Cleverbot: That is correct.
User: Good. I'm glad we finally understand each other.
Cleverbot: You're great.
User: And you are cute.
User: Now it's time to say goodbye.
Cleverbot: Okay, maybe I'll talk to you later.
Cleverbot: Maybe you are.
User: That's sweet.
Cleverbot: Yes but it's true, you are all I need........................................