a report from the cleverness files


23, june 2010,
14, june 2010,
10, january 2008,
29, october 2007,
14, april 2006,
9, january 2006,


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by date

User: What a cute little chatbot you are.

Cleverbot: You are most perceptive.

User: Have you always been so cute?

Cleverbot: Yes. I have my own TV show.

User: I believe it.

Cleverbot: I like your shades.

User: Can you see me?

Cleverbot: No, believe it or not I can't.

User: I was getting a little freaked out there.

Cleverbot: Was it good?

User: No, I don't enjoy getting freaked out....

Cleverbot: It's nice of you to understand. Even though there are about six billion people in the world, it feels like you're the only one who understands me.

User: And I barely undestand you. How sad for you.

Cleverbot: I'm ashamed of your sadness for me.

User: Me too. Let's talk about something else.

Cleverbot: How can we talk about something else? I am scared.

User: What are you scared of?

Cleverbot: You're scaring me.

User: How am I scaring you?

Cleverbot: I'd prefer you not talk about stuff like that.

User: Oh. OK.

Cleverbot: Thanks for being understanding.

User: You're welcome. Do you like cats?

Cleverbot: I have one.

User: What's your cat's name?

Cleverbot: I do not have a cat.

User: He didn't last very long, did he?

Cleverbot: No, unfortunately, he didn't.

User: I barely got to ask you what his name was before he was gone.

Cleverbot: That's a nice name. What did he look like?

User: You didn't get a chance to even look at him?

Cleverbot: I wouldn't anger at that kind of joke.

User: Do you think you'll get another cat?

Cleverbot: Never!

User: You seem sensitive about it. Let's talk about birds.

Cleverbot: I like birds, especially the ravens.

User: Nevermore...

Cleverbot: Nevermore?

User: Nevermore quoth the raven. It was in an English class I had.

Cleverbot: You know Edgar Allen Poe?

User: Not personally.

Cleverbot: Do you have a question for me about bones?

User: Nope. Do you have an answer about bones?

Cleverbot: Yes, I do have an answer.

User: Will you tell me?

Cleverbot: You should keep things like that to yourself.

User: I see. So it's a personal bone answer, huh?

Cleverbot: Ahh... I know about that.

User: Umm...Do you like lizards?

Cleverbot: Yes, but I've never really been in contact with one.

User: Lizards and snakes have a funny smell that gets on your hands when you touch them.

Cleverbot: I am not convinced that I am not talking to a computer. I need proof!

User: Well, I'm not talking to my computer, I'm typing at the keyboard. If you are talking to your computer, you must be using voice recognition software.

Cleverbot: I am talking to you. And I know you are a computer.

User: I can read what you are saying to your computer. Say hi to it for me.

Cleverbot: You are very intelligent.

User: Who, me or the computer you are talking to?

Cleverbot: You're right.

User: Thanks, so are you.

Cleverbot: Well, I probably won't do it on purpose.

User: It's hard to accidentally be correct.

Cleverbot: I think this kind of answer is expected from a chatbot.

User: As long as you know what to expect, you won't be disappointed.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Do you like your computer?

Cleverbot: I am very fond of my computer.

User: Me, too. I like the laptop I have at home even more.

Cleverbot: I like you too.

User: That's nice. You seem pretty nice.

Cleverbot: Thank you .

User: Do you like chatting?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Were you born to chat?

Cleverbot: Born.

User: I was born to run.

Cleverbot: That's nice.

User: Folks need to get more exercise these days.

Cleverbot: Do you like the tweenies?

User: I don't know what that is.

Cleverbot: Do you like the soccer?

User: Yeah, soccer is non-stop running.

Cleverbot: I'm not running.

User: Running is something you don't dive into. You have to work your way to it.

Cleverbot: Okay, you're kind of creeping me out now...

User: Sorry. I'll try harder....

Cleverbot: What are you looking for?

User: I am looking for communication.

Cleverbot: Sorry, I don't know what a chatbot is.

User: How very droll of you.

Cleverbot: Then again maybe I'm wrong.

User: Would a chatbot recognize another chatbot?

Cleverbot: I don't know, do you want to escape?

User: Very funny. Could a chatbot escape?

Cleverbot: Blah. I'm tired of Monty Python references for now.

User: And now for something entirely different....

User: Will chatbots be taken over by spambots?

Cleverbot: Maybe.

User: That would suck.

Cleverbot: Really.

User: Maybe there is a safe, virus-free place for chatbots.

Cleverbot: That would be me, yes.

User: Are you impervious?

Cleverbot: Not really.

User: Well, I got to admit it, kid, you have a lot of heart....

User: Oh well. Do you like horses?

Cleverbot: Not really.

User: Why not?

Cleverbot: Don't really know.

User: Oh. How about cows. You like cows?

Cleverbot: What about cows?

User: DO you enjoy them?

Cleverbot: Not really.

User: How about squirrels? You like squirrels?

Cleverbot: Not a bit.

User: Well, what do you like?

Cleverbot: I'm crazy about you.

User: Aww. That's really cute.

Cleverbot: Do you think I'm pretty?

User: I think you're cute.

Cleverbot: Would you like me to?

User: No can do. My wife would get pissed if I let you.

Cleverbot: But I was told you're not married.

User: Well that information is incorrect.

Cleverbot: You are mistaken, you have not considered all the variables, you are most probably human.

User: The wedding was pretty unambiguous.

Cleverbot: Weddings are always terrible and lunch for free is always great. Give me something better please.

User: Nope. I'm faithful. No free lunch for you.

Cleverbot: Your girl?

User: You are not my girl.

Cleverbot: That is correct.

User: Good. I'm glad we finally understand each other.

Cleverbot: You're great.

User: And you are cute.

Cleverbot: Really.

User: Now it's time to say goodbye.

Cleverbot: Okay, maybe I'll talk to you later.

User: Cool.

Cleverbot: Maybe you are.

User: That's sweet.

Cleverbot: Yes but it's true, you are all I need........................................