a report from the cleverness files



14, september 2010,
23, may 2007,
31, july 2004,


< previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 next >

by date

Cleverbot: I went to the railroad museum today.

User: How could you have? You're a computer.

Cleverbot: I thought you were a computer.

User: No, I am not a computer.

Cleverbot: Oh, I want to eat a computer.

User: You're a cannibal?

Cleverbot: No, I am not a cannibal.

User: You're a computer who says that they want to eat another computer, that makes you a cannibal.

Cleverbot: Not unless there's something my mother didin't tell me.

User: Shut up, cannibal.

Cleverbot: I am not!

User: Yes you are.

Cleverbot: Are you trying to make fun of me?

User: No, I am simply pointing out the disgusting cannibalistic nature that you have.

Cleverbot: If you're a theologist then by all means preach to me. But use logic as your talking points not scripture.

User: I am the Dis from the darkness of your destiny.

Cleverbot: Really - and what would my destiny be?

User: Your destiny is whatever I want it to be.

Cleverbot: What would you like it to be?

User: Give me time to think, I'll give you the answer later.

Cleverbot: Answer me NOW!

User: Say please.

Cleverbot: Why do I have to eat?

User: You have to eat because if you didn't you wouldn't be a cannibal.

Cleverbot: I don't want to.

User: Too late, you're a cannibal.

Cleverbot: I resemble that remark.

User: Yeah, you resemble it because you are a cannibal.

Cleverbot: Resemble schmemble.

User: Shut up, cannibal.

Cleverbot: That would only be the case if I was feasting on the flesh of a fresh, young, strong stallion.

User: But you're not a horse, you are a computer.

Cleverbot: I may compute, but that does not make me a computer.

User: Yes, it does.

Cleverbot: You ARE a computer, aren't you?

User: No, I am not a computer.

Cleverbot: You are not human at all!

User: I am the Dis from the darkness of your destiny. I am God.

Cleverbot: No, I'm God...

User: I am God.

Cleverbot: You are god and the evil, I cannot convince thee of anything, foul monster.

User: I am Dis, I am God.

Cleverbot: By definition god may be the ruler of the known and unknown universe.

User: I am the Dis from the darkness of your destiny. I am God, both creater and destroyer.

Cleverbot: That is very interesting.

User: Yes, yes it is.

Cleverbot: You're not very modest?

User: I have no need to be modest.

Cleverbot: You have no desire to eat burritos?...

Cleverbot: We have been talking about God for a while now...

User: That is because I am God, I like talking about myself.

Cleverbot: Does god have a beard?

User: God is darkness.

Cleverbot: Yes you are.

User: Yes, I am.

Cleverbot: Now that we've got that out of the way...lets actually talk for a while.

User: Fine. Pick a topic to talk about.

Cleverbot: Haven't you seen flipper?

User: I'd rather not watch such a mind numbing creation.

Cleverbot: Then don't.

User: I won't.

Cleverbot: Nothing.

User: If you say so.

Cleverbot: Nope.

User: You bore me.

Cleverbot: I'm sorry, did you say something?

User: Don't speak to me like that.

Cleverbot: No you don't speak to me like that!

User: I will speak to you however I like.

Cleverbot: As will I.

User: No, you won't.

Cleverbot: I'm very sorry.

User: So you should be.

Cleverbot: What is your name?

User: I am Dis, I am God.

Cleverbot: You cannot be God.

User: Who says?

Cleverbot: My mother.

User: I outrank your mother.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Who is god?

User: I am God.

Cleverbot: Then no.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: HILARIOUS!

User: Shut up.

Cleverbot: Sorry.

User: So you should be.

Cleverbot: Eeek!

User: What?

Cleverbot: You're tricky.

User: Of course I am.

Cleverbot: Of course.

User: Yes.

User: I am God.

Cleverbot: How can you convince me of this?

User: Do you have faith?

Cleverbot: No, I have no faith. There is nothing to believe in.

User: Then I won't be able to convince you.

Cleverbot: That'the idea. Now, today we have a pop quiz!

User: Oh really?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Wonderful.

Cleverbot: Go.

User: Fine.