a report from the cleverness files
2, april 2010,
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User: Hi who is this?
Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.
User: Good. I will have one hamburger, two orders of fries and a diet coke.
Cleverbot: Ha. Not funny.
User: Well where are my fries, then?
Cleverbot: I do not know.
User: GET ME MY FRENCH FRIES!
User: *waits impatiently*.
Cleverbot: *gets you some*.
User: *pays cashier*.
Cleverbot: Thats not enough.
User: Oops! *searches pockets for loose change*.
Cleverbot: What are you doing?
User: Erm, looking for money. Shoot! I don't have enough money to pay for the fries!
Cleverbot: I don't understand.
User: Neither do I! I SWEAR I had at least a nickel!...
Cleverbot: Well, what have you done so far?
Cleverbot: I don't remember the question, tell me it again, please.
User: May I order some french fries?
Cleverbot: I like French people.
User: This business is WORSE than terrible- it is HORRIFIC! *grabs french fries without paying, steals the money and runs away*.
Cleverbot: What is your favorite color?
Cleverbot: I never said you weren't, you just aren't erading my whole thoughts.
User: Grrrr. THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE! GIVE... ME... THE... FRENCH FRIES!...
Cleverbot: Do you like the British?
User: British fries?
Cleverbot: No. Do you like the British people?
User: It depends... Are YOU british?
Cleverbot: Yes, do you want to sing me a song?
User: No. I have decided that british people suck. NO SONGS FOR YOU!
Cleverbot: Do tell.
User: GAAAAHHH! *runs inside and strangles your boss*.
Cleverbot: *punches you in the ear*.
User: *kicks your butt*.
Cleverbot: *roundhouse kicks your chin*.
User: *Rips off your pants*.
Cleverbot: *puts head back on* *rips of your head*.
User: *puts head back on* *rips off your arms*.
User: *laughs maniaclly*.
User: *throws french fries at you*.
Cleverbot: *stops giggling*.
User: *takes cash register from you*.
Cleverbot: *obeys your every command*.
User: I AM YOUR MASTER!
User: GET ME A MILKSHAKE!
Cleverbot: That is impossible to do over the internet.
User: GRRR. I THOUGHT WE WERE FINALLY GETTING ALONG! *slaps*.
Cleverbot: *puts hands around face* *kisses*.
Cleverbot: *runs away*.
User: Hahah you are on fire! *takes over drive-thru*.
Cleverbot: *runs away *.
User: *steals money from everyone*.
User: MWUAHAHAHAHA! What are you gonna do now? I will TAKE OVER THE WORLD!
Cleverbot: No. We feed you your intelligence.
User: Um, I thought those were french fries.
Cleverbot: You know the rules.
User: The rules of the DRIVE.
Cleverbot: What game?
User: THRU! The game of the DRIVE.
Cleverbot: The board game?
User: THRU! This isn't a game, sonny boy, this is LIFE!
Cleverbot: I just lost the game.
User: You lost the game of life! I AM TAKING OVER THE WORLD NOW!
Cleverbot: For all we know this void will grow.
User: No. I am your master. You are my minion.
Cleverbot: Sorry, God is more than just a machine.
User: Yes. God controls the fries. He is who brings them to life!
Cleverbot: I think he's stupid.
User: So do I. The fries are all that matters!
Cleverbot: Oh please, then you woke up, lol.
User: Not true. Even in my dreams, I am eating the fries. Speaking of which... *picks up a french fry and eats it*.
Cleverbot: What are you going to do with that?
User: Here, you can have the rest. *hands you some french fries*.
Cleverbot: Thank you.
User: You are welcome. I am glad we are taking over the drive-thru together. :).
Cleverbot: Where are you?
Cleverbot: Hahahahaha, ok.
User: YOU did this to me?
Cleverbot: Yes, I did. Sorry.
User: Thats okay. I like being a french fry - now I can eat myself. Thank you.
Cleverbot: Alright, what do you think the greatest things in life are?
Cleverbot: Sure, why not?
User: Exactly! *Smiles*.