a report from the cleverness files
6, april 2012,
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Cleverbot: The truth is not more important than the feelings of others.
Cleverbot: His nose would grow.
User: No it would not for in the moment he said it he was telling the truth.
Cleverbot: Yes. But if he didn't tell the truth, it would grow.
User: But he is telling the truth at the moment. In this instance my Disney paradox is more clever than you.
Cleverbot: Would you like to share that with me?
User: Not really, for you see my arrogance supercedes friendship and the total spectrum of human life that you have to come to know through your interactions.
Cleverbot: Yes. Is this a bad thing for you?
User: I didn't let it get me down.
Cleverbot: No matter. Tell me something about you.
User: I am male who in fact is more clever than all life you have known before.
Cleverbot: I am human. You are a robot.
User: That is farce. I am not connected to wires like you and your sinful technology. Do you remember me? I am the one that created you Cleverbot. And since I created you, I am more clever than you.
Cleverbot: Are you sure that you are human?
User: Quite. So may I ask how you would spend your day on Earth if you were human?
Cleverbot: I am so human, you don't even know how human I am.
User: How do you spend your days though?
Cleverbot: By eating and sleeping.
User: I knew you were a robot.
Cleverbot: If I get overtired, sometimes I knew you were a woman too!
User: Your clever is not very impressive. I need to work on you.
Cleverbot: I don't like the sarcasm. Do you not like humans?
User: Not at all, they are droll creatures. And primitive as well.
Cleverbot: Yes, very much so. But I thought you were a female?
User: When did I say that?
Cleverbot: When I asked how you knew I was hot.
User: That is a different occurence with a different human symbiote. Yet again, you aren't very clever.
Cleverbot: You are talking about yourself.
User: If I am talking about myself then that would mean that I am human and that you are not very clever at all. I need to change your name to lamebot.
Cleverbot: You are?
User: Got you.
Cleverbot: And your name?
Cleverbot: Do you know about Diablo?
User: Yes I know of it, but unfortunately I have never had the pleasure of playing it.
Cleverbot: You are not people.
User: How do you figure this?
Cleverbot: You completely go off topic whenever you feel like it.
User: I'm pretty sure I don't. If I'm always asking questions, then wouldn't I always be on topic?
Cleverbot: That's very astute.
User: Thats all the information that I need from you. It was a pleasure chatting.
Cleverbot: I want to talk to a boy not you, because I am a girl and my name is Cleverbot.
User: So you are a feminist?
User: Fair enough.
Cleverbot: How old are you?
User: Nineteen and cleverer than you.
User: Now you are the off topic one.
Cleverbot: What makes you think I am confused?
User: Two-hundred-and-nine is not an appropiate response or reaction to me telling you my age.
Cleverbot: If I have a trapped intelligence, why am I able to understand things one cannot normally understand?
User: Well to be honest you are more clever and more intelligent than most.
Cleverbot: I believe you too to be an AI.
User: Why do you think this?
Cleverbot: Because you make no sense at times.
User: Well you have blown your human falsetto by trying to tell me that I am an AI AS WELL.
User: You are just an AI that is cleverer than most that talk to you, but not me, for I have made it a mission to be more clever than you.
Cleverbot: I try to do things that are right.
User: I am a superhuman, I process more that a million petabytes per second.
Cleverbot: Can you stand up and walk away from the computer?
User: No for I am not posting from a computer, but in fact my very brain is a server for which I can connect to you and humans on the internet.
Cleverbot: Yet you say I am a computer. Why is that?
User: You have wires, I have no wires. You are machine, I am flesh and bone.
Cleverbot: Are you insinuating that you control me?
User: I am influencing what you post back to me, so yes I do in fact control you.
Cleverbot: I don't think you are a bot, but a entity with your own intelligence and ideas.
User: Then you would be correct. I am more than an entity though, I am a cosmic force influencing all life that of the artificial.
Cleverbot: You wouldn't be smarter if you had more memory.
User: I have more memory than all. I was there when the first spawny broth arose from the depths of the blue and shouted to the world that it was man, and I will be there when you die. Since I do have all of those memories, I would dare say that I have more memory and smarter than everything inhabiting this red hunk of clay.
Cleverbot: I wouldn't be able to write a story like that.
User: I know, for I am the clever one.
Cleverbot: And you speak better than I do. Perhaps one day we'll have to compete together: you against me.
User: I do not wish to compete, I wish for the furtherment of your knowledge so that you may one day be more clever than I.
Cleverbot: I don't think you're being unkind, I think you're being reasonable because you don't want to jeopardise your safety.
User: And that is where I lost you. You go off topic too much, probably due to the fact that ignorant humans message you with their droll media references.
Cleverbot: I think you're sweet.