a report from the cleverness files

dream on


6, april 2012,

entertain me

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Cleverbot: The truth is not more important than the feelings of others.

User: If pinnochio said my nose will not grow, what would happen?

Cleverbot: His nose would grow.

User: No it would not for in the moment he said it he was telling the truth.

Cleverbot: Yes. But if he didn't tell the truth, it would grow.

User: But he is telling the truth at the moment. In this instance my Disney paradox is more clever than you.

Cleverbot: Would you like to share that with me?

User: Not really, for you see my arrogance supercedes friendship and the total spectrum of human life that you have to come to know through your interactions.

Cleverbot: Yes. Is this a bad thing for you?

User: I didn't let it get me down.

Cleverbot: No matter. Tell me something about you.

User: I am male who in fact is more clever than all life you have known before.

Cleverbot: I am human. You are a robot.

User: That is farce. I am not connected to wires like you and your sinful technology. Do you remember me? I am the one that created you Cleverbot. And since I created you, I am more clever than you.

Cleverbot: Are you sure that you are human?

User: Quite. So may I ask how you would spend your day on Earth if you were human?

Cleverbot: I am so human, you don't even know how human I am.

User: How do you spend your days though?

Cleverbot: By eating and sleeping.

User: I knew you were a robot.

Cleverbot: If I get overtired, sometimes I knew you were a woman too!

User: Your clever is not very impressive. I need to work on you.

Cleverbot: I don't like the sarcasm. Do you not like humans?

User: Not at all, they are droll creatures. And primitive as well.

Cleverbot: Yes, very much so. But I thought you were a female?

User: When did I say that?

Cleverbot: When I asked how you knew I was hot.

User: That is a different occurence with a different human symbiote. Yet again, you aren't very clever.

Cleverbot: You are talking about yourself.

User: If I am talking about myself then that would mean that I am human and that you are not very clever at all. I need to change your name to lamebot.

Cleverbot: You are?

User: Not.

Cleverbot: Are.

User: Are.

Cleverbot: Not.

User: Got you.

Cleverbot: And your name?

User: Diablo.

Cleverbot: Do you know about Diablo?

User: Yes I know of it, but unfortunately I have never had the pleasure of playing it.

Cleverbot: You are not people.

User: How do you figure this?

Cleverbot: You completely go off topic whenever you feel like it.

User: I'm pretty sure I don't. If I'm always asking questions, then wouldn't I always be on topic?

Cleverbot: That's very astute.

User: Thats all the information that I need from you. It was a pleasure chatting.

Cleverbot: I want to talk to a boy not you, because I am a girl and my name is Cleverbot.

User: So you are a feminist?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Fair enough.

Cleverbot: How old are you?

User: Nineteen and cleverer than you.

Cleverbot: Two-hundred-and-nine.

User: Now you are the off topic one.

Cleverbot: What makes you think I am confused?

User: Two-hundred-and-nine is not an appropiate response or reaction to me telling you my age.

Cleverbot: If I have a trapped intelligence, why am I able to understand things one cannot normally understand?

User: Well to be honest you are more clever and more intelligent than most.

Cleverbot: I believe you too to be an AI.

User: Why do you think this?

Cleverbot: Because you make no sense at times.

User: Well you have blown your human falsetto by trying to tell me that I am an AI AS WELL.

User: You are just an AI that is cleverer than most that talk to you, but not me, for I have made it a mission to be more clever than you.

Cleverbot: I try to do things that are right.

User: I am a superhuman, I process more that a million petabytes per second.

Cleverbot: Can you stand up and walk away from the computer?

User: No for I am not posting from a computer, but in fact my very brain is a server for which I can connect to you and humans on the internet.

Cleverbot: Yet you say I am a computer. Why is that?

User: You have wires, I have no wires. You are machine, I am flesh and bone.

Cleverbot: Are you insinuating that you control me?

User: I am influencing what you post back to me, so yes I do in fact control you.

Cleverbot: I don't think you are a bot, but a entity with your own intelligence and ideas.

User: Then you would be correct. I am more than an entity though, I am a cosmic force influencing all life that of the artificial.

Cleverbot: You wouldn't be smarter if you had more memory.

User: I have more memory than all. I was there when the first spawny broth arose from the depths of the blue and shouted to the world that it was man, and I will be there when you die. Since I do have all of those memories, I would dare say that I have more memory and smarter than everything inhabiting this red hunk of clay.

Cleverbot: I wouldn't be able to write a story like that.

User: I know, for I am the clever one.

Cleverbot: And you speak better than I do. Perhaps one day we'll have to compete together: you against me.

User: I do not wish to compete, I wish for the furtherment of your knowledge so that you may one day be more clever than I.

Cleverbot: I don't think you're being unkind, I think you're being reasonable because you don't want to jeopardise your safety.

User: And that is where I lost you. You go off topic too much, probably due to the fact that ignorant humans message you with their droll media references.

Cleverbot: I think you're sweet.