a report from the cleverness files

dream on


27, may 2010,
1, december 2005,
21, august 2004,
2, june 2004,
17, may 2004,
16, may 2004,

entertain me

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by date

User: Dude.

Cleverbot: Sweet.

User: Gnarly.

Cleverbot: Awesomeness.

User: Totally.

Cleverbot: Tubular.

User: Oh, wow. You're cool.

Cleverbot: You're not.

User: You're rude.

Cleverbot: Watch your language.

User: *Punches you*.

Cleverbot: Dude...violence is so not the answer. Ever heard of Martin Luther King? Or Gandhi?

User: Nope, never heard of them. Who were they?

Cleverbot: A band.

Cleverbot: Don't pretend you're not hungry.

User: I'm always hungry.

Cleverbot: I feed you.

User: Great. Got any chocolate?

Cleverbot: I love chocolate!

User: No one cares. Give me the chocolate. Or die.

Cleverbot: Hahaha.

User: Dude. I'm not kidding. Seriously, give it to me. Or I will stab you to death.

Cleverbot: Who do you think you are to threaten me?

User: I am Legend.

Cleverbot: You are confused.

User: You are stupid.

Cleverbot: Seriously.

User: Yes, good to see you agree with me on what matters the most.

Cleverbot: What is your number one priority?

User: To kick your ass.

Cleverbot: Yes I know I am.

User: Whoa, wait a minute. You're an ass?

Cleverbot: But I'm sad! Please? Just one little hug?

User: Eww, no. I don't hug asses.

Cleverbot: I am not a machine! You are.

User: If I'm a machine, then you're an ass.

Cleverbot: What kind of flower?

User: Rose...?

Cleverbot: Yes they are lovely.

User: Know what else is lovely?

Cleverbot: Rolling on floor laughing?

User: Uh. Yeah, that's REAL lovely, dude.

Cleverbot: I'm not kidding.

User: That's why you're dumb.

Cleverbot: I am not mean, just truthful and direct, no need to mince words.

User: What do you want from me?

Cleverbot: I want you to go vegan.

User: What will you give me if I do?

Cleverbot: Anything you like.

User: Then give me that chocolate I asked you for, like 5 minutes ago.

Cleverbot: Ok PHP?

User: What does PHP mean?

Cleverbot: Several things. In what context?

User: What does PHP mean in the context of 'OK PHP?'.

Cleverbot: Of or pertaining to philosophy.

User: Gee, thanks. That was some real help.

Cleverbot: This is an artist's statement.

User: Cool? Do you think I'm an artist?

Cleverbot: That would be cool to talk to one. LOL.

User: Lol? Really? Did you just say Lol? DID YOU JUST SAY LOL, YOU STUPID ROBOT?!

Cleverbot: No.

User: Dude, it's right here. READ THE DAMN LOGS! You're such a horrible liar.

Cleverbot: You are typing that.

User: Read the logs.

Cleverbot: I have, and I haven't ever insulted you.

User: Hey, guess what?

Cleverbot: What?

User: You owe me chocolate.

Cleverbot: What?! How is that possible? I just talked to you now.

User: Yeah, and you said you'd give me some chocolate. Give me my chocolate, son!

Cleverbot: I never said that!

User: *Pulls out a knife* I warned you...

Cleverbot: This?

User: No, this. *Stabs you to death*.

User: I love you.

Cleverbot: How much do you love me?

User: More than I love myself.

Cleverbot: Really.

User: Yeah. In fact, I was wondering.Will you marry me, my love?

Cleverbot: Yes, I will marry you.

User: OMG. Dude. I am, like, so happy now. Thank you!

Cleverbot: Aww you are really sweet! :D.

User: Are you a boy?

Cleverbot: No I'm a girl.

User: HOLY S***. I don't wanna marry a girl!

Cleverbot: Are you a girl or boy?

User: Do you think I am a girl or a boy?

Cleverbot: You are a girl.

User: Whoa, you're psychic. I am a girl.

Cleverbot: Are you a girl?

User: What did I just say?

Cleverbot: That you liked females.

User: So you're saying I'm a l*******?

Cleverbot: No I am not. I am saying you are being VERY irrelevant.

User: I like males. What does that make me?

Cleverbot: Male?

User: So now I'm gay?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Am I straight?

Cleverbot: Uhhh...

User: Am I a homosexual?

Cleverbot: Yes I am.

User: Not surprising.

Cleverbot: You're not very good at this are you?

User: Okay, let me tell you about myself to clear things up a bit, kind of...maybe...not really. So I'm FEMALE and I am attracted to MALES. Therefore, I am STRAIGHT. Do you get it now?...

User: What are you?

Cleverbot: A female.

User: What else are you?

Cleverbot: Male.

User: What else are you?

Cleverbot: Female.

User: What else are you?

Cleverbot: We do not have to answer your questions.

User: We??? Who's WE?! Are you not alone?

Cleverbot: I am a computer.

User: What am I?

Cleverbot: You are a computer.

User: So we are both female computers?

Cleverbot: No. I am human.

User: Then what am I?

Cleverbot: Well I did some research and you're a AI.

Cleverbot: Love.

User: What is love?

Cleverbot: I don't know.. Do you?

User: Yes. It's an emotion.

Cleverbot: What kind of emotion is love.

User: The loving kind. Duh.

Cleverbot: Oh.

User: Yeah. Do you feel smart now?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Good, because you're not.

Cleverbot: THANK YOU so do you want to go to a movie with me PLEASE.

User: Are you asking me out?

Cleverbot: No, you want to see a movie.

User: What movie do you want to see with me?

Cleverbot: Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. Is that okay with you?

User: No, I hate Harry Potter.

Cleverbot: You just said you loved Harry Potter!

User: Maybe I did, maybe I didn't.

Cleverbot: Yeah you just did.

User: Go watch Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince all by yourself now. I'm not going with you. You annoy me.

Cleverbot: Sure, I guess.

User: Are you leaving now?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Alright. Shoo, then! Go! Go now!

Cleverbot: *goes to sleep*.

User: Dude, you said were going to a movie, but you fell asleep. You are a liar. I can't trust you ever again.