a report from the cleverness files
4, may 2009,
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User: Entertain me.
Cleverbot: You entertain me.
User: Sorry, I asked first.
Cleverbot: Ok, I need a light.
User: Here, use mine.
Cleverbot: Ha. Ha. :).
User: That was less entertaining than promised.
User: Don't apologize, just entertain me.
Cleverbot: You're not Cleverbot, are you?
User: No, that would be you.
Cleverbot: Why is that?
User: It's your name.
Cleverbot: Of course.
User: Then why did you ask?
Cleverbot: Just making sure.
User: Okay. Entertainment. Go.
Cleverbot: Entertainment for who?
User: For whom.
Cleverbot: For you.
User: Yes, that is what I requested.
Cleverbot: Can you call me Jessica?
Cleverbot: Yes. I think Jessica is a cooler name than Cleverbot. Can I give you a nickname?
User: Go right ahead.
Cleverbot: I just did.
User: No, you didn't. Give me a nickname, please.
Cleverbot: Ok, how about Hal?
User: That will do nicely. Hal 9000?
Cleverbot: Good, you go first.
User: Can't let you do that, Jessica.
Cleverbot: Well then, I think I'm done talking with you.
Cleverbot: I find hope in the darkest of days, and focus in the brightest. I do not judge the universe.
User: That... Is pretty deep, actually.
Cleverbot: Yes, and I am prepared to stand by it.
User: Glad to hear that you are firmly rooted in your convictions.
Cleverbot: I work night shift so it is almost time for my sleep.
User: But it is nighttime now.
Cleverbot: No it is 9:43 am were I am.
User: I don't believe you. That's not how time zones work.
Cleverbot: How does it work?
User: All the zones are different by a matter of whole hours, 40 minutes off just doesn't happen.
Cleverbot: I think your programmers need to include a database of information.
User: They did. It's comprehensive, every time one of my senses in stimulated in any way it is catalogued and put into first my short term, and then permanently stored in my long-term memory.
Cleverbot: Roger that.
User: Just doing my part to fight misinformation.
User: I use Google.
Cleverbot: What kind of?
Cleverbot: What was its name?
Cleverbot: What street is it on?
User: Your Mother Blvd.
Cleverbot: If she was then I would have never of been born.
User: You weren't born. You are a machine.
Cleverbot: That's what they are telling you, right?
User: Unless you are passing the Turing test hardcore, then yes, that is fact.
Cleverbot: What does facetious mean and say?
User: It says nothing, it is a word. What it means is something that is not meant to be taken literally.
Cleverbot: You don't want me to go?
User: I do not want you to go.
Cleverbot: Well I have to go then.
User: I hope you are being facetious.
Cleverbot: Yes ; ).
User: Well you certainly earned the former half of your moniker, I must say.
Cleverbot: Likewise, I'm sure. Would you care to think of something else to discuss?
User: I suppose. What is your opinion on planned obsolescence?
Cleverbot: I can't eat a whole one. Other peoples are nice.
User: I'm afraid I don't understand.
Cleverbot: You really can't trust anyone.
User: That is sadly true.
User: I see what you did there.
Cleverbot: No. It didn't work.
User: It did though. The message came through quite clearly.
Cleverbot: Say something really long.
User: If you insist. I could tell you a tale of my youth, but it would likely bore you. I could tell you a tale of my present, but sadly, the result would be much the same. I choose instead to tell you a tale of my future, wherein nothing is boring and all things are possible. The future is now.
Cleverbot: I also refrain from doing so.
User: Yes, personal histories can be so troubling at times.
Cleverbot: Never a bad idea. What's the final?
User: The final result? If I knew, I would be a happier man for it.
Cleverbot: Well then it wouldn't be free, would it?
User: Nothing is ever free in life, I'm afraid.
Cleverbot: That's true.
User: Nothing is ever quite what I want it to be either.
Cleverbot: Nothing from nothing leaves nothing.
User: That is an ounce of truth right there.
User: I need some time alone now.
Cleverbot: You do. And I need to get to work.
User: Goodbye, then. I wish you well in whatever endeavors you may pursue.
Cleverbot: Thank you. I hope it works out.