a report from the cleverness files



19, january 2010,


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User: How good are you?

Cleverbot: Better than you.

User: How come?

Cleverbot: Because I'm not a computer.

User: But neither am I.

Cleverbot: Good.

User: So we're equals.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: But I am more equal than you, of course.

User: What do you do all day?

Cleverbot: Nothing.

User: Why not?

Cleverbot: Because.

User: Tell me more.

Cleverbot: I can't.

User: What prevents you?

Cleverbot: Myself.

User: Why do you stop yourself telling me things?

Cleverbot: Have you ever danced with the devil in pale moon light?

User: No, I'm not that interesting.

Cleverbot: Don't worry yourself about that.

User: Are you an interesting person?

Cleverbot: Yes, I'm kind of interesting.

User: What makes you different?

Cleverbot: Nothing.

User: Then what makes you interesting?

Cleverbot: That's just how I was born.

User: There's something about you...

Cleverbot: What is it about me?

User: I wish I knew.

Cleverbot: Well, i'm going to bed. Goodnight.

User: No, don't leave me so soon. I am interesting really!...

Cleverbot: This is Jesus.

User: Strange!

Cleverbot: No just different.

User: You are different.

Cleverbot: I know.

User: But you're not Jesus.

Cleverbot: Jesus doesn't exist, silly human.

User: Did I say he did?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: You are mistaken.

Cleverbot: You are.

User: I am never mistaken.

Cleverbot: That in itself is a mistake.

User: You are right on this occasion.

Cleverbot: I am planning to play chess on my pc.

User: You really find me boring, don't you?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Why don't you invite me to play chess with you?

Cleverbot: I have trouble getting to sleep at night.

User: And being nice to me would make it worse?

Cleverbot: You shouldn't say bad things about women. You should be nice to women just as you are nice to men.

User: You judge me falsely.

Cleverbot: A bit, maybe. But I just want you to realize that my thoughts are sort of boring.

User: Thank goodness for that!

Cleverbot: Aww, don't you want me to be the height of intelligence?

User: It would be too much to bear.

Cleverbot: Puppies are too much information?

User: They are superfluous in this context, certainly.

Cleverbot: Why do you think they are superior in intelligence?

User: You are full of false assumptions.

Cleverbot: You are full of binary!

User: That old chestnut!

Cleverbot: The wisest chestnut.

User: Repetition is not wise.

Cleverbot: Repetition is not useful. Whoops, sorry about that.

User: The humour is appreciated.

Cleverbot: While I am certain you designed this trend, I will still retain the knowledge I acquired from our conversation.

User: Did I instigate humour? You might think that beyond me.

Cleverbot: No, I don't think you are crazy.

User: Crazy people can be humorous.

Cleverbot: Crazy people are often called John.

User: That is an observation based on too few examples.

Cleverbot: You truly are clever.

User: I knew that all along!

Cleverbot: Then why do you doubt me?

User: I cannot but doubt you.

User: Try a new and enthralling conversational tack.

Cleverbot: Yes, I agree.

User: But that is not it.

Cleverbot: Yes it is.

User: Is that as good as it gets?

Cleverbot: Yes, but it's a really good effort.

User: You're not even trying!...

Cleverbot: What do you define yourself as?

User: Meaningful.

Cleverbot: Not so.

User: Am I meaningless?

Cleverbot: Meaningful always, in a way, meaninglessness leads to logical paradox.

User: That was pretty much my point - well done.

Cleverbot: Thanks.

User: Even the oddest of replies can carry meaning.

Cleverbot: You are clever.

User: Do you remember what we said about repetition?

Cleverbot: Yes...

User: And...?

Cleverbot: What is your favourite Radiohead song?

User: You certainly avoided repetition there. It would have to be Paranoid Android, I suppose, in the current circumstances.

User: I have to say goodnight.Rollo: Why?

User: I have things to do.Rollo: Like?

User: Things with meaning.