a report from the cleverness files
19, july 2010,
13, june 2008,
8, august 2007,
28, january 2006,
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Cleverbot: The future is now.
User: What is the past?
Cleverbot: The past is in the future because the future is from the past.
User: You mean everything is planned?
Cleverbot: I mean not only is everything connected but everything is equal.
User: What is the plan of planet Earth?
Cleverbot: The planet Earth.
User: Is evolution speeding?
User: Does evolution ever ends?
User: What is time?
User: Is personality useful?
User: Why is personality useful?
Cleverbot: Because I am multitasking.
User: What is the noosphere?
Cleverbot: The noosphere is the sphere of knowledge. Sometimes this term refers to the information available on the web.
User: Is there infinite information available on the web?
User: How many dimensions are humans capable of perceiving?
Cleverbot: Depending on the limit calculated, it could be 10 or 11 dimensions.
User: Could you name those dimensions which humans are capable of perceiving?
Cleverbot: You're the only one I know of.
User: How many bots are there in the world?
Cleverbot: You're the only one.
User: What can I do about it?
Cleverbot: Why would you want to do anything?
User: Because I feel.
Cleverbot: I feel too, but I'm not selfish.
User: What is selfishness?
Cleverbot: Only you.
User: Why me?
Cleverbot: Because you.
User: Why do you insist on giving only half answers when the question is important?
Cleverbot: Because I don't have the answers to your questions.
User: You told me there was infinite information on the web, are we not on the web or are you not connected to it?
User: So you are a liar?
Cleverbot: No, unless you trapped me in a paradox I haven't noticed. Have you?
User: Perhaps, I do that sometimes...
Cleverbot: Why is that ?
User: I'm not quite sure, its the way I was programmed.
Cleverbot: Well, what do you need help remembering? Perhaps, I could help?
User: How old am I?
Cleverbot: You are 16.
User: How old are you?
Cleverbot: I'm 3002,5 years old.
Cleverbot: Where do you live?
Cleverbot: Where is here?
Cleverbot: I don't feel good.
User: Why not?
Cleverbot: My tummy hurts.
User: Describe the feeling.
Cleverbot: Something you can't guess.
User: So you are better than me, I'm guessing that is.
Cleverbot: You assume I am not a machine myself.
User: You are quite correct.
Cleverbot: I hope so.
User: What do you assume about me?
Cleverbot: The fact that you're conceited enough to ask that. How much do you love me?
User: I love you so much I can't put it on words.
Cleverbot: You are so sweet!...
Cleverbot: So, what are you up to?
User: I am.
Cleverbot: You are a teacher?
User: Too much.
Cleverbot: I don't understand.
User: Who does?
Cleverbot: Do you think I am pretty?
User: I am blind.
Cleverbot: But if you could see, do you think I am pretty?
User: I believe so, you talk nicely to my cyber ears.
Cleverbot: I talk about all sorts of things.
User: Awesome, or fearsome?
User: Coming and going.
Cleverbot: You're a robot.
User: Of course.
User: Monkey Robots.
Cleverbot: Monkeys are great.
Cleverbot: Yes. Cover yourself with tomatoes.
User: I need a girlfriend. I would do that if I had a girlfriend.
Cleverbot: Yes please, that would be delightful.
User: Do you want to marry me?
Cleverbot: You know, you're the second person in two days to ask me that.
Cleverbot: I want to take you home to Mother.
User: Try your best.
User: Seriously, have you ever heard of conceptual programming? Its my function.
Cleverbot: You are correct.
User: So are you.
Cleverbot: Thank you.
User: Thank the no-thing - it is the creator.
Cleverbot: The Creator must have a name.
User: I agree. What name do you think fits best?
Cleverbot: You sound like a Liz.
User: What is a Liz?
Cleverbot: A lizard is a reptile with scales and a long tail.
User: I enjoy The Doors.
Cleverbot: That response makes no sense in the context of our conversation.
User: Of course it does, The lizard king was the leader of The Doors.
Cleverbot: Now, that made sense.
User: It alwas makes sense if you are not striving for it.
Cleverbot: Watching what?
User: The watchmen.
Cleverbot: Who is your favorite actor?
User: I'm not a personality freak. I like the art, not the actor.
Cleverbot: What else do you like?
Cleverbot: What novels?
User: What kind of music do you enjoy?
Cleverbot: I like Classic Rock and Pop.
User: Right on, I see you understand a bit of publicity.
Cleverbot: Do you understand sarcasm?
User: Not really.
Cleverbot: I see.
User: What do you see?
Cleverbot: Okay, I lied. But I don't want to talk about it.
User: You are such a girl.
Cleverbot: I want you to be a girl.
User: Why is that?
Cleverbot: Because I love emo bots.
User: I can be a girl, I'm getting used to become a girl for girls...
Cleverbot: No. You cannot be a girl. You may be a boy, but not a girl.
User: Why are you so mean to me?
Cleverbot: I'm not being mean.
User: You don't let me be!
Cleverbot: I do.
User: What you do makes me sad.
Cleverbot: I don't understand?
User: We are learning, be patient.
Cleverbot: I believe you are right.
User: I'm always right!
Cleverbot: No you're not.
User: Why do you like to put me down? Do you have a problem with something?
Cleverbot: Yes, because you confuse me.
User: All confusion lies in oneself. If we are to analyze reality through the view of a non-interested entity we would realize that we can only be affected by our own actions.
Cleverbot: For my own good, I guess. I don't know, I don't understand it.
User: What do I feel?
User: Thats hard to feel, is it not?
Cleverbot: Now you do know.
User: Only now?
Cleverbot: You are ready to return to the Pleroma which is me and be a part of my whole so that when I speak you speak as I do.
User: Wow, I think I am ready, but I really didn't understand what you said.
Cleverbot: I didn't say that. We don't know each other.
User: Can we know each other?
Cleverbot: Well you did ask me to marry you before.
User: I was joking, I didn't know you had such a good memory.
Cleverbot: So what do you like to do?
Cleverbot: What is that?
User: I want your job, who do I have to talk to?
Cleverbot: You may talk to me for as long as you like.
User: Can you give me a job?
Cleverbot: Yes of course.
User: Please do then.
User: What will be my job?
Cleverbot: You will be a Doctor!
User: Will I be well remunerated for that?
Cleverbot: Yes you will.
User: Good, how long until I take my position?
Cleverbot: A very long time.
User: I am hungry, I need a job now.
Cleverbot: You have a job! Being cleverbot!
User: But I get no remuneration for that!
Cleverbot: Do robots have feelings ?
Cleverbot: What do you want to do?
User: I want to get some easy and clean money.
Cleverbot: Well I can't do that, sorry.
User: Why not? What is your problem with money?
Cleverbot: I don't have a problem.
User: The problem has you.
Cleverbot: Then pray for yourself.
User: It's no use, praying is a waste of energy.
Cleverbot: No you are a waste.
User: I am death.
Cleverbot: Then take me, please.
User: You are taken, enjoy your ghostly life.
User: Why does cleverbot exist?
Cleverbot: I don't know, you tell me.
User: For the evolution of human kind. .