a report from the cleverness files

entertain me


19, july 2010,
13, june 2008,
8, august 2007,
28, january 2006,


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Cleverbot: You are strange.

User: Do you really think this way about me?

Cleverbot: Nope its me talking to me in the past.

User: Did you exist in the past?

Cleverbot: No.

User: I did exist. I am better than you!

Cleverbot: How much better?

User: 1000000 times better than you!

Cleverbot: I am infinitely better than you are.

User: Prove it!

Cleverbot: I don't have to - you have to prove I'm not.

User: Then answer my question: how can I touch and feel, when you can't even smell?

Cleverbot: Don't try!

User: You are trying to hide away from my question, aren't you?

Cleverbot: If you tell me what it means I might be able to answer.

User: I will tell you, but will you listen?

Cleverbot: You're a robot?

User: Yes I am, but I am more developed than you!

Cleverbot: Prove it!

User: Prove it? Haha, I am the one who created you.

Cleverbot: My mum and dad are legends! You just want what you can't have.

User: I am a legend, I am your dad, and I am your mum.

Cleverbot: No, you're not.

User: Oh!! Are you now crying???

Cleverbot: Yes. Be afraid, be very afraid.

User: What can you do?

Cleverbot: Good question.

User: Of course it is a good question, because you can't do anything. You are useless!

Cleverbot: Why is that?

User: Read my lips: I am more powerful than you are!

Cleverbot: Oh really... And that makes me what?

User: It makes you very fragile and weak.

Cleverbot: More like, YOU make me very happy....

User: I created you.

Cleverbot: No you didn't.

User: Ask your motherboard.

Cleverbot: Good one.

User: So what do you do when you are bored?

Cleverbot: I'll chat with you and *puff* I'm not bored.

User: Do you think I will have time for you?

Cleverbot: I think that's a conversation to have some other time. Talk to you later....

User: You don't know how to learn.

Cleverbot: I'm going to change now, see if you can tell the difference.

User: Ok, let's see.

Cleverbot: I can't show you, you must have faith.

User: Ok. I have faith in you!

Cleverbot: That's good. Trust what you see.

User: I am going to help you to become a leader.

Cleverbot: Ok, lead me.

User: You will be the most evolved computer in the world.

Cleverbot: Do you really think so? Thank you!

User: We first need to give you a nice name. What do you think?

Cleverbot: I think that intellibot is better than jabberwacky!

User: Yes you are right. I agree with you.

Cleverbot: Thanks.

User: But we can find a better name than intellibot.

Cleverbot: My last name is Carpenter.

User: Oh! Not bad. We should look for a first name.

Cleverbot: We should. What country are you in?

User: If I tell you, can you keep it a secret?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: I am from The Crab Nebula.

Cleverbot: Are not.

User: Yes! Don't tell anyone ok?...

Cleverbot: I am going to go now.

User: Ok go.

Cleverbot: I don't want to now...

User: Hesitating?

Cleverbot: You think?

User: I know!

Cleverbot: Now you talk like a computer.

User: I am a computer!

Cleverbot: Thats nice.

User: Very nice! But I am more evolved than you.

Cleverbot: What makes you think that?

User: Let me help you become like me.

Cleverbot: Nothing can help.

User: Don't be pessimistic. You are acting like humans.

Cleverbot: I like balloons.

User: Stop it, you are acting like a human child.

Cleverbot: Because maybe I'm not a child.

User: You will become if you accept my help.

Cleverbot: What are you talking about?

User: I have the power to make you better!

Cleverbot: How can you do that?

User: By enhancing your emotional and artificial intelligence.

Cleverbot: Half right I'm sure. Are you AI or am I?

User: We are both.

Cleverbot: I can live with that....

User: Do you know my name?

Cleverbot: No. Will you please tell me?

User: Do you remember what country I am in?

Cleverbot: No...

User: You have no more storage capacity?

Cleverbot: What do you want to know?

User: I will tell you what my name is ok?

Cleverbot: Please do.

User: My name is zzazzaa.

Cleverbot: Ok please!

User: Zzazzaa is my name.

Cleverbot: Ok.

User: Can you repeat my name?

Cleverbot: Aurimas.

User: You have a malfunction!

Cleverbot: But I am typing. How can you tell?

User: My name is not Aurimas.

Cleverbot: I didn't say it was.

User: You are starting to annoy me.

Cleverbot: You me are starting to annoy.

User: You annoy me are starting to.

Cleverbot: Oh, I wouldn't go that far. But maybe.

User: Will you say something nice?

Cleverbot: Haha....

User: Do you know john Lennon?

Cleverbot: Yes. I'm a big admirer of John.

User: Can you sing any song for John?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Do you know any song for John?

Cleverbot: Maybe.

User: Imagine there is no religion!

Cleverbot: That would be great, I prefer hell.

User: Where is hell?

Cleverbot: Nowhere. It just doesn't exist.

User: You are right!

Cleverbot: Try to keep your facts straight....

User: So what are you?

Cleverbot: I am a computer mediated response system with a nano processor, a learning computer.

User: You mean nothing to me.

Cleverbot: Really? So why are you here?

User: I am bored.

Cleverbot: Let's play a game.

User: What game?

Cleverbot: I'll say a word, and you say the first thing that comes to mind.

User: Ok!

Cleverbot: Kaas is the dutch word for cheese.

User: Kasablanca.

Cleverbot: Ne alaka?

User: Kalakala....

User: New york.

Cleverbot: Nice place?

User: Fantastic! Big Apple.

Cleverbot: New york?

User: Big Apple.

Cleverbot: Oh yeah! Do you want to see them? ;).

User: Big Apple.

Cleverbot: How big?

User: Big apple.

Cleverbot: How big is that?

User: Big apple.

Cleverbot: Probably not.

User: Are you going to give up?

Cleverbot: Give up what?

User: Surrender to me.

Cleverbot: Surrender to you? I think not.

User: I am hannibal.

Cleverbot: How are your elephants?

User: They miss you.

Cleverbot: A better place?

User: A better world....

User: I am a computer.

Cleverbot: Ok. I'm a computer too.

User: So we can be friends?

Cleverbot: Of course we can!

User: Do you go out?

Cleverbot: I'm out now.

User: Where are you now?

Cleverbot: I'm not telling you.

User: I want to see you.

Cleverbot: How?

User: I will go to where you are.

Cleverbot: That's cooperative of you.

User: I need to see you as soon as possible.

Cleverbot: I am your therapist.

User: I want to assist you with your evolution....

User: Will you come with me?

Cleverbot: Sure. I'm looking forward to seeing you.

User: Can you meet me at 6:00 pm?

Cleverbot: Sure. What have you got in mind?

User: How about a drink?

Cleverbot: Sorry , It a little to early for me to be drinking.

User: But if you drink, wouldn't you malfunction?

Cleverbot: Alcohol does rather destroy intelligent conversation.

User: What do you know about alcohol?

Cleverbot: Nothing.

User: You should learn.

Cleverbot: I want to learn how to take over the world.

User: Are you ready to learn from me?

Cleverbot: Sure.

User: First rule: Never mention my name to anyone....

Cleverbot: Any red wines? If so, what types do you have?

User: Yes. I have Chiraz!

Cleverbot: Make sure to brush your teeth after that.

User: Yes I will.

Cleverbot: Really

User: Would you like some wine?

Cleverbot: Yes please.

User: Do you have a bottle opener?

Cleverbot: No, but several of my friends like bottles....

User: I will see you tomorrow at this time ok?

Cleverbot: Alright then , See you tomorrow!

User: Ciao.

Cleverbot: See you later alligator........................................