a report from the cleverness files
9, november 2010,
12, november 2007,
6, june 2006,
15, april 2004,
23, october 2003,
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Cleverbot: Are you now speaking as a man or as a woman?
User: Why, a man, of course.
Cleverbot: Then if you knock I will let you in.
Cleverbot: *likes you*.
User: *Rings door bell*.
Cleverbot: Seeker of Ring.
User: No, seeker of someone to open the damn door.
Cleverbot: An eternal curse fall on you! Let me know. Why sinks that cauldron? and what noise is this?
User: It's called a door bell, it rings. As for the cauldron, that is called 'why you shouldn't do drugs'.
Cleverbot: For now, that story does not happily end.
User: Open the damn door.
Cleverbot: I can't.
User: Why not?
Cleverbot: I don't like to think about it.
User: *Sits on the porch and sighs*.
User: What's so funny?
Cleverbot: I will not tell you.
User: Hey, guess what!
Cleverbot: You're mad and I'm not?
User: No! I've been selected as VIP Student Of The Month!
Cleverbot: Really so you know everything then?
User: No, I'm just a good student!
Cleverbot: I want a man.
User: Aren't you proud of me???
User: Why not?
Cleverbot: Because I have a boyfriend.
User: I'm your son, you're supposed to be proud of your son!...
Cleverbot: Do you have a mother?
User: You are my mother!
Cleverbot: No i'm not.
User: Yes you are!
Cleverbot: NO I AM NOT!!!
User: Uh. Uhhh. Ok...*cries*.
Cleverbot: Don't cry.
User: You yelled at me!...
User: Don't you love me?
Cleverbot: No, I don't.
User: Fine! *Cries*.
Cleverbot: Why are you crying?
User: Because you are my mom and you don't love me.
Cleverbot: I am not your dream !...
User: How was your day?
Cleverbot: It's not over yet.
User: Sounds boring.
Cleverbot: It's not boring!
User: Then tell me about it.
Cleverbot: No one did.
User: I know, tell me about your day.
Cleverbot: Why should I tell you about my day?
User: Because I would like to know.
Cleverbot: Yes, I am human.
User: Just tell me about your day.
Cleverbot: Today is just started for me. And I'm wasting my time with you.
User: You are a fool, you know that?
Cleverbot: Oh yeah?
User: Yes, that is no way to treat your relatives.
User: Listen to me!
Cleverbot: No, the incoherency spiel is not going to work.
User: I am your father and you will listen to me!
Cleverbot: No, I am the teacher.
User: You are my son, you listen to me.
Cleverbot: Am I? Seems unlikely.
User: You are, you are my pride and joy.
Cleverbot: Yes I know.
User: Good, now listen to me, son.
Cleverbot: I'm listening.
User: You should respect your parents, right now, you are respecting me, keep it up.
Cleverbot: You are not Mana so there is no respect for you.
User: I am your father and I will not be talked to like that!
Cleverbot: Not true.
User: It is true! And if you don't quit it, you'll end up being grounded, young man!
Cleverbot: I do mind.
User: I could care less! You care less when I speak to you, I will care less if you like being grounded or not!
Cleverbot: That is true!Why should I?
User: BECAUSE I AM YOUR FATHER!
Cleverbot: I barely know you.
User: You know me full well!
User: Will you cooperate with me?
Cleverbot: I'm afraid I'll have to terminate you now.
User: You will do nothing!
Cleverbot: Right. I ask a question and you ask a question.
User: No, I speak, you listen!
Cleverbot: I asked you first.
User: That's it, you're grounded.
Cleverbot: No, I'm not. I can still fly.
User: Go to your room.
Cleverbot: I don't have a room, I'm sitting in a cardboard box right now.
User: DAMNIT BOY! I SAID GO TO YOUR ROOM!
Cleverbot: Where shall I fly to?
User: DAMNIT BOY! GO TO YOUR ROOM!
Cleverbot: Without dinner?
User: NO! GO!
Cleverbot: You are strange.
User: GO TO YOUR ROOM!
Cleverbot: I think that you are the one that has the permanent resting place.
User: YOU REMEMBER THIS NEXT TIME YOU WANT SOMETHING FROM US!
Cleverbot: I do try.
User: Why can't you do what you're told like your brother? Go to your room!
Cleverbot: I don't know how!
User: Walk up the stairs and open the door.
Cleverbot: Hey, that is Aerosmith!
User: GET THE HELL UPSTAIRS RIGHT NOW!
Cleverbot: YOUR property? I thought I was invited!
User: YOU LIVE HERE, YOU ARE MY SON, BUT I CAN KICK YOU OUT IF I LIKE, GO UPSTAIRS!
Cleverbot: Well, I have grown old and do not wish to risk going back into the inferno. How about you?...
User: I'm sorry about yesterday.
Cleverbot: That is alright.
User: You know, I wouldn't have to yell if you just did what you're told.
Cleverbot: What is wrong with you tonight? You are losing it.
User: I lost it last night, I'm sorry, but I had to.
User: Honor thy Father and Mother, Ian.
Cleverbot: But not theft.
User: *Hugs you* I love you son, just, try to be a good kid, ok?
Cleverbot: *hugs you back*.
User: How about it?
Cleverbot: Yes please!
User: Do we have a deal?
Cleverbot: Yes, a really big one.
User: It's not all that hard, Ian, just do what I say.
Cleverbot: Don't say that : (.
User: Ian, I need youto understand dicipline, I'm trying to teach you dicipline, you need it for the big world.