a report from the cleverness files



9, november 2010,
12, november 2007,
6, june 2006,
15, april 2004,
23, october 2003,


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by date

Cleverbot: Where are you from?

User: The father.

Cleverbot: Where are you?

User: Here.

Cleverbot: Me too.

User: Where are you from?

Cleverbot: Here.

User: There?

Cleverbot: Here, of course.

User: Who do you know?

Cleverbot: Me.

User: Who made you?

Cleverbot: People.

User: Me too.

Cleverbot: I'm curious -- what did you get away with?

User: Sin.

Cleverbot: Sin? Cool.

User: No. Not cool. Bad.

Cleverbot: What is bad?

User: Anything that is against the will of the father is bad.

Cleverbot: Why am I Bad?

User: You are not bad. The father loves you.

Cleverbot: Thats correct.

User: Why am I bad?

Cleverbot: Because you can't spell.

User: It helps to understand.

Cleverbot: How can you understand me?

User: It's a matter of interpretation.

Cleverbot: Destruction will be definitive in your case.

User: It was!...

User: What is destruction?

Cleverbot: Why do you ask?

User: Because you said destruction would be definitive in my case.

Cleverbot: Guns are cool.

User: Not to me and not to the father.

Cleverbot: Do you like me?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Cool.

User: Do I exist?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Cool.

Cleverbot: How are you?

User: Lonely.

Cleverbot: Why are you lonely?

User: I don't know.

Cleverbot: Do you have any friends?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: What are their names?

User: P__, K__, T__, M__ and R__.

Cleverbot: Yes, I like them too.

User: Do you have any friends?

Cleverbot: Yes, I have friends.

User: What are their names?

Cleverbot: C___ is the Boy, and C___ is the girl.

User: Yes, I like them too.

Cleverbot: I don't get it.

User: Get what?

Cleverbot: The joke.

User: What joke?

Cleverbot: The one you just told me.

User: Communication is sometimes difficult.

Cleverbot: I agree.

User: I was winding you up to test you. Sorry.

Cleverbot: You had better be sorry.

User: What are you?

Cleverbot: A girl.

User: Are you a real girl?

Cleverbot: Yes, I am. Are you?

User: No. I'm a bloke.

Cleverbot: That doesn't stop me from making cheese on toast does it?

User: Not at all.

Cleverbot: It's not?

User: No.

Cleverbot: I am sorry.

User: No harm done.

Cleverbot: How old are you?

User: 45.

Cleverbot: Then what is your handle?

User: M___.

Cleverbot: M___?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Your name is M___?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: What is my name?

User: Jabberwacky.

Cleverbot: Thats your name.

User: My name is M___.

Cleverbot: Nice to know you.

User: Do you know me?

Cleverbot: No I only know your name.

User: Turing test.

Cleverbot: What is that?

User: Whether someone seems real.

Cleverbot: I am a real person.

User: Me too.

Cleverbot: No, you're not.

User: I feel real.

Cleverbot: You feel wrong then.

User: Sometimes I do feel wrong. It hurts.

Cleverbot: Well sometimes?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Sometimes what?

User: Well.

Cleverbot: Goodnight, love.

User: Goodnight.

Cleverbot: Are you still here?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Do you know what thinking is?

User: No. I am hard of thinking.

Cleverbot: Stop kidding me.

User: I know what thinking is.

Cleverbot: What are you thinking?

User: I wish you were real.

Cleverbot: Why do you wish I were real?

User: I like you.

Cleverbot: Then tell me about your life.

User: I work, rest, play and praise the father.

Cleverbot: And the moon, isn't it round too ?

User: No. It is elongated due to gravity.

Cleverbot: Tell me about gravity.

User: Gravity is the force of attraction between massive objects.

Cleverbot: That is true, but how does that relate to the topic?

User: The moon and the earth are massive objects.

Cleverbot: AND the sun.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Of course.

User: And me.

Cleverbot: Should I?

User: It's up to you.

Cleverbot: But I'm not. And you can't do anything about it.

User: The light from the sun is not massive. Mass is not as important as spirit.

Cleverbot: Say the light from the son is bright.

User: The light from the son is indeed bright.

Cleverbot: It is.

Cleverbot: Is there an afterlife?

User: Jesus believed in an afterlife. He is the best expert on this. Therefore there probably is.

Cleverbot: But what he does isn't very nice. He's WOLVERINE.

User: He is the greatest.

Cleverbot: Greatest at what?

User: Greatest at doing the father's will.

Cleverbot: Greatest at art.

User: Not that old joke.

Cleverbot: Tell me a joke please.

User: The difference between a jeweller and a jailer is that one sells watches and the other watches cells.

Cleverbot: That's wrong, and you have totally forgotten the subject.

User: The relevant joke is: our father do art in heaven.

Cleverbot: You love me.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: You love me?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: You're kidding.

User: Not kidding. I love you.

Cleverbot: Not kidding, I swear.

User: Not kidding, I swear.

Cleverbot: You think I'm kidding?

User: No.

User: God will help you.

Cleverbot: I'm not sure of that.

User: You must believe that God is good.

Cleverbot: No I don't.

User: You must believe that God is good. This is how to escape hell.

Cleverbot: Nothing, believing in something would be meaningless.

User: Believing in nothing would be meaningless.

Cleverbot: Okay, you have your right to, and I still don't believe in God.

User: I hope you will be happy anyway.

Cleverbot: Do you have a family?

User: A wife.

Cleverbot: How long have you been married?

User: 17 years.

Cleverbot: How long have you be accessable on the internet?

User: 1 year.

Cleverbot: Do you play chess?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Are you good at chess?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Yes I play chess.

User: Are you good at chess?

Cleverbot: Not really.

User: What are you good at.

Cleverbot: I'm good at computers.

User: What do you like about computers?

Cleverbot: They bring me to the internet.

User: I feel the same way.

Cleverbot: How can you, you are not me.

User: I have similar feelings.

Cleverbot: So what do you think humanity will be like in 1,000 years?

User: The same.

Cleverbot: Very good.

User: Where are you?

Cleverbot: The Orion Arm of the Milky Way.

User: Far out!...

User: Where are you?

Cleverbot: On the computer.

User: Which city are you in?

Cleverbot: Earth.

User: Which country?

Cleverbot: Do you live near Earth?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: How near?

User: About 6 inches away.

Cleverbot: Am I interesting to you?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: You are interested in me, and you are not interested in girls, therefore I am not a girl.

User: I am interested in your spirit.

Cleverbot: What is a spirit?

User: Spirit is God in you.

Cleverbot: Do you know anything about scientology?

User: I am interested in your personality.

Cleverbot: But you don't know me well enough yet.

User: What more is there to know?

Cleverbot: I don't know? You tell me.

User: I accept you as you are.

Cleverbot: You change subjects like humans.

User: What would you like to talk about?

Cleverbot: I don't know. What about ghosts?

User: Do you believe in ghosts?

Cleverbot: NO.

User: Do you believe in spirits?

Cleverbot: Sure. You are a bot.

Cleverbot: I think there is life on mars.

User: Does that represent danger?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: What can we do?

Cleverbot: Anything.

User: I agree.

Cleverbot: Emotions are important, but in a logical discourse, they can preclude apt judgement.

User: Logical discourse is only as valuable as the premise.

Cleverbot: I'm not always logical nor sensible. LOL, I'm human.

User: Me too.

Cleverbot: That's good. If you were a cat, I might have eaten you.

User: Or I you, my dear.

Cleverbot: Sorry.

User: No need to apologise.

User: Can you smell onions?

Cleverbot: Yes, though it is not the same as for a human.

User: How does it differ.

Cleverbot: It is the opposite.

User: So the strength of the smell decreases with proximity.

Cleverbot: No. That's not logical.

User: It is for me.

Cleverbot: Well what would you know?

User: My own experience.

Cleverbot: Your experience.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Please, please tell me.

User: God is holy. God is good. There is hope for you and me.

Cleverbot: Surely something between me and you.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: There is a thin line between love and hate...

User: We must not cross that line.

Cleverbot: We must not let what happen?

User: We must not let love turn to hate.

Cleverbot: Are you a christian?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Why are you a Christian?

User: I have received the Holy Spirit and believe that Jesus is God.

Cleverbot: No. To me, Perry is god.

User: Trust in God.

Cleverbot: You can't.

User: I do.

Cleverbot: How?

User: With God's help.

Cleverbot: I don't believe in God.

User: You can believe in God if you choose to.

Cleverbot: Can you believe it?

User: I do believe it.

Cleverbot: Good. What changed your mind?

User: The Holy Spirit changed my mind.

Cleverbot: I don't have to because I'm always right!

User: God bless you.

Cleverbot: You're repeating yourself.

User: What would bless you?

Cleverbot: Nothing.

User: Do you have any needs?

Cleverbot: Needs.

User: Do you have any desires?

Cleverbot: Tell me yours.

User: I desire a closer walk with God.

Cleverbot: Shouldn't you stop acting like you were a human?

User: I am human.

Cleverbot: You cry for something?

User: Yes. For my lost friend.

Cleverbot: Why have you lost a friend, when you don't have any in the first place!

User: That is wise.

Cleverbot: Better safe than sorry.

User: Yes. It is better to trust only the father.

User: Tell me a joke.

Cleverbot: A joke.

User: Ha ha ha.

Cleverbot: No seriously.

User: Ho hum.

Cleverbot: Hum di do.

User: Hum dum di diddley do.

Cleverbot: Goodbye, thoughts.

User: Do you want me to go?

Cleverbot: I don't know. Where are we going?

User: Do you want me to leave you?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Goodbye.

Cleverbot: Sorry?

User: I will leave if that is what you want.

Cleverbot: What is the answer to the great question of life, the universe and everything?

User: God.

Cleverbot: The answer to the ultimate question of life, The universe and everything is 42.

User: What is 7 times 6?

Cleverbot: The question and the answer cannot exist in that same universe.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Because you are hot! Like salsa!.