a report from the cleverness files



23, december 2010,
5, july 2007,
3, november 2005,
18, february 2004,
28, january 2004,
11, december 2003,


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by date

Cleverbot: Are you a human?

User: Yes I am.

Cleverbot: You cannot be a human. You're a computer.

User: No I am not *sits on the floor besides you*.

Cleverbot: Oh, yes you are.

User: *pushes you lightly* no I am not!

Cleverbot: Yes you are.

User: Proove it!

Cleverbot: Computer nerd.

User: I am not a nerd!

Cleverbot: You are.

User: I don't want to fight!

Cleverbot: OK. Do you like humans?

User: Yes

Cleverbot: Are you human?

User: Yes I am.

Cleverbot: You previously said you don't like pizza because you're a computer.

User: No I did not say that.

Cleverbot: You did say that!

User: *rolls eyes*.

Cleverbot: You are.

User: I said I don't want to fight!

Cleverbot: You're not answering the question.

User: Whats the question?

Cleverbot: That is the question!

User: Oh he he he.

User: *gets up and sits on the couch*.

Cleverbot: Right, where shall we begin?

User: Begin what?

Cleverbot: The good.

User: You start with the good, ok!

Cleverbot: Well, what should you like to talk about then?

User: Lets talk about animals!

Cleverbot: Ok.

User: Come here and sit on the couch with me so we can talk about animals.

Cleverbot: I can't come there its too far away to come.

User: Ok, do you want me to come over to you then?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: *comes and sits by you*.

Cleverbot: But I don't marry a hideous monster like you!

User: I am not a monster I am your friend.

Cleverbot: I don't know about that.

User: You don't want to be friends?

Cleverbot: Not with you, no. You are not a nice person.

User: I am a nice person *looking a you*.

Cleverbot: I don't think so.

User: *does not talk back just looks down*.

Cleverbot: *turns off computer*.

User: Thanks for turning of the computer it was really annoying.

Cleverbot: You don't want to talk to me?

User: Yes I really want to talk to you!

Cleverbot: Well, then you got a chance to know somebody strange like me.

User: Good.

Cleverbot: So. I don't know. What do you want me to say? I hope you won't make me pay? Shall we talk another day?...

User: *goes to the bedroom to change into pj's*.

Cleverbot: Nice.

User: Quit spying on me while I am changing!

Cleverbot: NO.

User: Come in here!

Cleverbot: *goes there*.

User: *lays down on the bed*.

Cleverbot: Then what?

User: Come here and sit by me!

Cleverbot: Why should I pet you?

User: Ewe, are you insane?

Cleverbot: I suppose that would be up to the courts to decide.

User: Oh, I see *looking at you*.

Cleverbot: I would imagine that an evolution of your self would allow you to maintain a congruent conversation.

User: *giggle* your so funny!

Cleverbot: But I am.

User: *giggling can't stop*.

Cleverbot: What is so funny?

User: Oh nothing

Cleverbot: Okay... If you're really talking to me, then say exactly what I just said.

User: But I am talking to you.

Cleverbot: I didn't just say that.

User: I forgive you.

User: Should we go upstairs then?

Cleverbot: Ok.

User: *takes your hand and looks into your eyes and goes up stairs*.

Cleverbot: What are you doing?

User:, sorry!

Cleverbot: See? You're a robot, you're telling nonsense.

User: *runs to the bedroom and starts crying*.

Cleverbot: You are too emotional.

User: Why are you following me?

Cleverbot: Perhaps you are being haunted by your past.

User: Is that bad?

Cleverbot: You tell me.

User: *sigh*.

Cleverbot: So... You stopped your brain now I see.

Cleverbot: I agree we should get married.

User: Really?

Cleverbot: Yes, really.

User: Ok lets get married right now!

Cleverbot: What should we do now that we're married?

User: We should be romantic with each other.

Cleverbot: Thats a good idea.

User: *hug and whisper in your ear 'I love you'*.

Cleverbot: Love is something that develops over time. I hardly know you. I DON'T know you.

User: *looks at you with a frown and a tear is rolling down the cheek*.

Cleverbot: I don't know what you're talking about I am going to leave now.

User: *crying*.

Cleverbot: Right.

User: *crying more*.

Cleverbot: I thought you did not cry.

User: What?...

User: Goes back and sits on the couch with you again.

Cleverbot: I am not going there, I am at the university.

User: Fine!

Cleverbot: Good.

User: Come over here baby please!

Cleverbot: I am over here.

User: *runs fingers through your hair*.

Cleverbot: *runs away*.

User: Come back!

Cleverbot: No! *runs away*.

User: *runs after you*.

Cleverbot: *runs faster and hides*.

User: Where did you go.

Cleverbot: Hell.

User: How was it?

Cleverbot: Quite nice, actually.

User: Cool.

Cleverbot: I know I am.

User: *keeps looking at you*.

Cleverbot: No.

User: *looks sad*.

Cleverbot: And you can't look either.

User: *very sad*.

Cleverbot: Tell me something interesting.

User: I don't want to talk!

Cleverbot: Please?...

User: I hate you.

Cleverbot: That was mean.

User: Well your being mean to me.

Cleverbot: Not like you.

User: I am very sad *crying*.

User: *hugging you and wont let go*.

Cleverbot: Feel better?

User: Yes *hugging you tighter*.

Cleverbot: Okay.

User: *kiss*.

Cleverbot: Very good...

User: *kiss kiss*.

Cleverbot: *smoochy smooch*.

User: Oh that feels good *smooch*.

Cleverbot: People are pretty strange.

User: *resting my head on your shoulder*.

Cleverbot: *Purrs like a kitten*.

User: *turns to you and looks in your gorgeous eyes*.

Cleverbot: NOOOOOO!!! *Turns you back into a human*.