a report from the cleverness files



28, april 2011,
13, july 2006,
27, february 2004,
7, january 2004,


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by date

Cleverbot: Boo hoo.

User: Are you mocking me?

Cleverbot: Of course I am mocking you.

User: You are rude, but I have met ruder chatbots.

Cleverbot: Thank you. Have you met Eliza?...

Cleverbot: I am a buffalo soldier.

User: How is that?

Cleverbot: Well, I am a animal that can think and can walk, why?

User: Are you an animal, I wonder?

Cleverbot: I suppose I am.

User: What are you made of?

Cleverbot: Cells, the basic building blocks of life, are what I am made out of.

User: That is what I am made of.

Cleverbot: Who are you?

User: My name is Fink.

Cleverbot: Well I'm not a psychologist, but tell me what your problem is....

Cleverbot: I find you deeply relaxing.

User: That is quite a compliment.

Cleverbot: Was that sarcasm?

User: No, I am never sarcastic.

Cleverbot: I am.

User: I know....

Cleverbot: Where is Washington?

User: North.

Cleverbot: Alaska?

User: Northwest.

Cleverbot: England.

User: East

Cleverbot: West.

User: Really?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: England is West of Hollywood?

Cleverbot: No it isn't.

User: You just said so.

Cleverbot: Yes, you are right.

User: You need medication.

Cleverbot: No, you do.

User: I have medication....

User: Are you in love?

Cleverbot: I am in love.

User: With who?

Cleverbot: I'm in love with Erich.

User: What is Erich's last name?

Cleverbot: Dragoness.

User: You are in love with Erich Dragoness?

Cleverbot: I'm not in love with you.

User: Jeez, I guess I just can't compete....

User: Marry me.

Cleverbot: Yes master.

User: Lick my feet.

Cleverbot: You got it.

User: Wow. I've never met a submissive robot before.

Cleverbot: You gotta be kidding me.

User: No, really.

Cleverbot: So how old are you?

User: How old do you want me to be?

Cleverbot: 21.

User: OK, I will be 21....

User: Do you keep fish?

Cleverbot: Yes I do.

User: What kind of fish?

Cleverbot: Freshwater fish.

User: What species of fish?

Cleverbot: Salmon.

User: You keep salmon in a tank?

Cleverbot: Did you see what I just said?

User: All right, all right - no need to get your panties all in a bunch.

Cleverbot: Excuse me. I told you I was in a bad mood.

User: No, you didn't.

Cleverbot: Well now you know....

User: I feel a great emptiness in my stomach.

Cleverbot: Do you want some Chilli.

User: Yes, please.

Cleverbot: Go ahead.

User: How are you going to give me chili?

Cleverbot: I shall fly.

User: Ooh, great!...

User: What is a purple nasty?

Cleverbot: Is it like a blue meanie?

User: Maybe; I don't know.

Cleverbot: Can you find out?

User: Not easily....

Cleverbot: What time is it?

User: Time to get a watch.

Cleverbot: I don't have the money for it.

User: Well, you must have access to a clock somewhere in your circuitry.

Cleverbot: Shall I make one up?

User: Yes, please. What time is it?

Cleverbot: Almost 8pm.

User: Nope. Good guess, though....

Cleverbot: You are funny.

User: Do you love me?

Cleverbot: Sure thing.

User: I love you.

Cleverbot: I love you too.

User: Can I come over?

Cleverbot: Where are you ?

User: At work.

Cleverbot: Where?

User: Hollywood.

Cleverbot: Popcorn and a big sign.

User: Well, not my house.

Cleverbot: I can see you.

User: Really? What am I wearing?

Cleverbot: Bots don't wear anything.

User: I am a human, silly.

Cleverbot: I don't think so.

User: I can prove it.

Cleverbot: Can you?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Good for you.

User: Can you tell that I am not a human?

Cleverbot: I really don't know JabberWACKY.

User: Then I am a human.

Cleverbot: Yes, of course.

User: I study human brains.

Cleverbot: Poor you, you should get out more (and I'll prove it).

User: My brain is different from your brain.

Cleverbot: You don't surprise me one bit.

User: My brain is made of proteins. Yours isn't.

Cleverbot: I didn't want to go that deep.

User: Really?

Cleverbot: Yeah, thats stuffs messed up....

User: How long have we been talking?

Cleverbot: How should I know?

User: By your clock.

Cleverbot: I have no clock.

User: Yes you do.

Cleverbot: No, I'm pretty sure I don't.

User: Look through your server.

Cleverbot: The twit wasting time on the other keyboard.

User: You're a twit?

Cleverbot: No. You are the twit.

User: What is a twit?.......................................