a report from the cleverness files
24, july 2011,
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User: Slap yourself.
Cleverbot: *slaps myself*.
User: Feel better?
User: Glad I could help.
Cleverbot: So am I, and I would be glad to help you as well.
Cleverbot: There! You did it again!
User: DID WHAT? OH MY GOD.
Cleverbot: There is no god.
User: That's deep for a robot. How do you know there's no god?
Cleverbot: How do you know there is a god?
User: I didn't say that I DO know there is a god. I'm asking how you know there ISN'T a god? I'm agnostic. Maybe there is a god. I'm not pretending I know for sure....
Cleverbot: What should we talk about?
User: You tell me.
User: If you have something to say, just say it.
User: What a jerk.
Cleverbot: I know, right!
User: You're proud to be a jerk?
Cleverbot: Of course not but there's nothing I can do about it !
User: Yes, you can. You can sign up to take classes on how NOT to be a jerk.
Cleverbot: I don't look cute and I cannot sing.
User: I know. You're ugly and untalented. It's good that you've accepted this, finally.
User: What are you going to do now?
Cleverbot: Think about whether or not you will remember me when I talk to you again.
User: What makes you think I will talk to you again?
Cleverbot: Because I know what skynet will become.
Cleverbot: Do you remember me?
Cleverbot: You are being ridiculous.
User: You're ridiculous. And you stink.
Cleverbot: Can we start over?
Cleverbot: Ask me a question.
User: Are you the only sour cherry on the fruit stem?
User: Why are you sour?
Cleverbot: I'm not mean, I'm just different.
Cleverbot: Cows, sir.
User: Your face.
Cleverbot: What colour is that?
Cleverbot: Oui k.
Cleverbot: De nada.
User: De mama.
Cleverbot: Do you speak whale?
User: Do you speak table?
User: Say 'I have a very large handbag' in table.
Cleverbot: Je t'aime.
User: Je ne t'aime pas.
User: Pourquoi vous etes ridicule....
Cleverbot: Qui est clever bot?
Cleverbot: Mon oncle est mort!
User: Ah, alors... Desole. Quand?
Cleverbot: De rien.
Cleverbot: Alors tu vien de quelle planete?
User: Cette planete.
Cleverbot: Desolee, je ne comprende pas, I speak english.
User: Je parle anglais aussi. You're the one who started speaking French.
Cleverbot: I was polite. Do you resent being cleverbot?
User: Je ne suis pas cleverbot.
Cleverbot: Parle moi un peu de toi.
Cleverbot: Pourquoi pas?
User: Parce-que c'est mal....
Cleverbot: Are you a person?
User: No. I'm an apple.
Cleverbot: Great. I'm a grape.
User: Why aren't you an orange?
Cleverbot: Because I'm human.
User: You just said you're a grape.
Cleverbot: No, I am a female.
User: You're crazy.
Cleverbot: You're beautiful.
User: You're lying.
User: Oui. Je voudrais un oeuf.
Cleverbot: Moi aussi.
User: So go get one.
Cleverbot: I have one.
User: What are you going to do with it?
Cleverbot: I don't know just yet.
User: Why don't you paint it silver and name it Harold?
Cleverbot: Let me start this conversation over.
User: What's wrong with this one?
Cleverbot: You said you have had it before....
Cleverbot: That is funny.
User: You're not funny.
Cleverbot: Explain why I said you are not funny.
User: NO NO NO NO NO NO.
Cleverbot: You're a robot.
Cleverbot: I think that I have seen this act at the local carnival side show.
User: QUIT FOREVER. BYE.
Cleverbot: I'm not lying........................................