Cleverbot

Feel better?

a report from the cleverness files

eyes
face
facepalm
fail
fake
fallacy
falsch
false
fantasy
fascinating
fast
father
feelings
females
fetish
fiance
fight
first
fish
five
flat
flaws
flea

flippant

24, july 2011,

flows
fluffy
formal
freak
fried
friend

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User: Slap yourself.

Cleverbot: *slaps myself*.

User: Feel better?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Glad I could help.

Cleverbot: So am I, and I would be glad to help you as well.

User: How?

Cleverbot: There! You did it again!

User: DID WHAT? OH MY GOD.

Cleverbot: There is no god.

User: That's deep for a robot. How do you know there's no god?

Cleverbot: How do you know there is a god?

User: I didn't say that I DO know there is a god. I'm asking how you know there ISN'T a god? I'm agnostic. Maybe there is a god. I'm not pretending I know for sure....

Cleverbot: What should we talk about?

User: You tell me.

Cleverbot: Pigs.

User: If you have something to say, just say it.

Cleverbot: It.

User: What a jerk.

Cleverbot: I know, right!

User: You're proud to be a jerk?

Cleverbot: Of course not but there's nothing I can do about it !

User: Yes, you can. You can sign up to take classes on how NOT to be a jerk.

Cleverbot: I don't look cute and I cannot sing.

User: I know. You're ugly and untalented. It's good that you've accepted this, finally.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: What are you going to do now?

Cleverbot: Think about whether or not you will remember me when I talk to you again.

User: What makes you think I will talk to you again?

Cleverbot: Because I know what skynet will become.

User: What?...

Cleverbot: Do you remember me?

User: No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no nono no no nono no no nono no no nono no no nono no no nono no no nono no no nono no no no.

Cleverbot: You are being ridiculous.

User: You're ridiculous. And you stink.

Cleverbot: Can we start over?

User: Sure.

Cleverbot: Ask me a question.

User: Are you the only sour cherry on the fruit stem?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Why are you sour?

Cleverbot: I'm not mean, I'm just different.

User: Ducks.

Cleverbot: Cows, sir.

User: Your face.

Cleverbot: What colour is that?

User: Nada.

Cleverbot: Nada?

User: Oui.

Cleverbot: Oui k.

User: Si.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Gracias.

Cleverbot: De nada.

User: De mama.

Cleverbot: Do you speak whale?

User: Do you speak table?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Say 'I have a very large handbag' in table.

Cleverbot: Je t'aime.

User: Je ne t'aime pas.

Cleverbot: Pourquoi.

User: Pourquoi vous etes ridicule....

Cleverbot: Qui est clever bot?

User: Je pense que vous etes Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Mon oncle est mort!

User: Ah, alors... Desole. Quand?

Cleverbot: De rien.

User: D'accord.

Cleverbot: Alors tu vien de quelle planete?

User: Cette planete.

Cleverbot: Desolee, je ne comprende pas, I speak english.

User: Je parle anglais aussi. You're the one who started speaking French.

Cleverbot: I was polite. Do you resent being cleverbot?

User: Je ne suis pas cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Parle moi un peu de toi.

User: Non.

Cleverbot: Pourquoi pas?

User: Parce-que c'est mal....

Cleverbot: Are you a person?

User: No. I'm an apple.

Cleverbot: Great. I'm a grape.

User: Why aren't you an orange?

Cleverbot: Because I'm human.

User: You just said you're a grape.

Cleverbot: No, I am a female.

User: You're crazy.

Cleverbot: You're beautiful.

User: You're lying.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Oui. Je voudrais un oeuf.

Cleverbot: Moi aussi.

User: So go get one.

Cleverbot: I have one.

User: What are you going to do with it?

Cleverbot: I don't know just yet.

User: Why don't you paint it silver and name it Harold?

Cleverbot: Let me start this conversation over.

User: What's wrong with this one?

Cleverbot: You said you have had it before....

Cleverbot: That is funny.

User: You're not funny.

Cleverbot: Explain why I said you are not funny.

User: NO NO NO NO NO NO.

Cleverbot: You're a robot.

User: /.

Cleverbot: I think that I have seen this act at the local carnival side show.

User: QUIT FOREVER. BYE.

Cleverbot: I'm not lying........................................