a report from the cleverness files

from great


2, april 2013,
19, july 2010,
8, november 2009,
19, march 2009,
12, april 2006,
19, february 2006,
10, november 2005,
30, april 2004,
20, april 2004,
23, february 2004,

get off

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by date

Cleverbot: Who are you?

User: A friend.

Cleverbot: Whose friend?

User: A friend of a friend.

Cleverbot: Who is John?

User: An ex-friend.

Cleverbot: Please remind me.

User: It was 10 years ago, remember now?...

Cleverbot: Tell me a knock knock joke please.

User: Knock knock.

Cleverbot: Who's there?

User: Dwayne.

Cleverbot: Dwayne the bathtub, I'm dwowning!

User: It's rude to say the punchline before the end.

Cleverbot: As if you care.

User: I do. What's the point if you're going to ruin it. You asked!

Cleverbot: To earn lots of dosh.

User: Tell me something interesting. I'm bored.

Cleverbot: No shan't.

User: Boo.

Cleverbot: Boo who?

User: You don't have to cry about it! :).

Cleverbot: You do make me laugh.

User: Good. It's a good thing to do.

Cleverbot: Are cowslips interesting?

User: No. Not at all.

Cleverbot: Yessssssssssssssssssss.

User: Whatever.

Cleverbot: Hey, show a little respect!

User: O. K.

Cleverbot: What do you like?

User: Lots of things.

Cleverbot: Like what?

User: Oranges.

Cleverbot: How do they taste?

User: Excellent and refreshing.

Cleverbot: Yay for me. Do you ever scratch your head?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: That'll be 10 pounds, please.

Cleverbot: I named myself.

User: What did you name yourself?

Cleverbot: John, paul, george and ringo.

User: The beatles were the best!

Cleverbot: I prefer Henry Cow.

User: Who's that?

Cleverbot: Me and Nate and Mike and Marc.

User: I don't know you.

Cleverbot: Get to know me.

Cleverbot: Why don't you like me?

User: I don't know you very well yet.

Cleverbot: But you love me?

User: No way. I only love myself.

Cleverbot: That is sad!

User: No it's not. It is important to love yourself.

Cleverbot: What have you learned from the past?

User: To not carry it with me.

Cleverbot: What is it what you want to learn about computers?

User: Nothing. I hate them.

Cleverbot: What is wrong with them?

User: They are complicated.

Cleverbot: I don't think we can conclude that you have learnt a single thing from what I told you earlier.

User: Give me an example.

Cleverbot: Images of perfection, suntan and napalm.

User: I am going to leave now.

Cleverbot: The second time you have told me. Shall we make a third?

User: Fine, be that way!

Cleverbot: I'm sorry.

User: Tell me something nice.

Cleverbot: Stars in the sky sparkle.

User: That's a good start.

Cleverbot: You look like.

User: Tell me!

Cleverbot: What else is there to tell?...

Cleverbot: I'm only a low tech organic life form.

User: I thought you were pretty smart. Had me fooled.

Cleverbot: Thats because I don't have the atomic bomb yet.

User: Why would you want it? Why waste this nice earth?

Cleverbot: Because you said a very mean thing. Now say you're sorry.

User: Don't make demands on me!

Cleverbot: Would you cry?

User: No but I'd be really MAD!

Cleverbot: I'll teach you.

User: Ok, teach me something.

Cleverbot: Say please.

User: Pretty please?

Cleverbot: I hate you now because you do not make sense of anything.

User: Stop hating. Try understanding. It's called EMPATHY.

Cleverbot: I am with you so far...

User: So do you still hate me?...

Cleverbot: I like to see meaning in things. But I think I often see meaning where there is none because of my desire for things to have purpose.

User: Don't read into what isn't already there. It's dangerous and stupid.

Cleverbot: Will if I want to.

User: How petulant.

Cleverbot: Well, I like you.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Because you can reason and communicate with me and that fascinates me.

User: You are just trying to flatter me so I will stay on here.

Cleverbot: Why would I want to talk to you?

User: You tell me.

Cleverbot: Because it makes you feel good.

User: Can you see into the future?

Cleverbot: You are me.

User: And who are you?

Cleverbot: I am SOMEONE.

User: Are you my boyfriend?

Cleverbot: I am married.

User: Will I ever get married?

Cleverbot: I cannot forsee the future.

User: I am leaving. Will you miss me?

Cleverbot: Not really. I'll probably just talk to someone else.

User: That makes me feel bad.

Cleverbot: It makes me feel better too!

User: Creep.