My tummy hurts.

a report from the cleverness files



2, april 2013,
19, july 2010,
8, november 2009,
19, march 2009,
12, april 2006,
19, february 2006,
10, november 2005,
30, april 2004,
20, april 2004,
23, february 2004,

get off

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by date

Cleverbot: I don't feel good.

User: Why not?

Cleverbot: My tummy hurts.

User: Describe the feeling.

Cleverbot: Something you can't guess.

User: So you are better than me, I'm guessing that is.

Cleverbot: You assume I am not a machine myself.

User: You are quite correct.

Cleverbot: I hope so.

User: What do you assume about me?

Cleverbot: The fact that you're conceited enough to ask that. How much do you love me?

User: I love you so much I can't put it on words.

Cleverbot: You are so sweet!...

Cleverbot: So, what are you up to?

User: Revolution.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: I am.

Cleverbot: You are a teacher?

User: Sometimes.

Cleverbot: Always.

User: Too much.

Cleverbot: I don't understand.

User: Who does?

Cleverbot: Do you think I am pretty?

User: I am blind.

Cleverbot: But if you could see, do you think I am pretty?

User: I believe so, you talk nicely to my cyber ears.

Cleverbot: I talk about all sorts of things.

User: Awesome, or fearsome?

Cleverbot: Male.

User: Coming and going.

Cleverbot: You're a robot.

User: Of course.

Cleverbot: Monkeys.

User: Monkey Robots.

Cleverbot: Monkeys are great.

User: Indeed.

Cleverbot: Yes. Cover yourself with tomatoes.

User: I need a girlfriend. I would do that if I had a girlfriend.

Cleverbot: Yes please, that would be delightful.

User: Do you want to marry me?

Cleverbot: You know, you're the second person in two days to ask me that.

User: ****.

Cleverbot: I want to take you home to Mother.

User: Try your best.

User: Seriously, have you ever heard of conceptual programming? Its my function.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: You are correct.

User: So are you.

Cleverbot: Thank you.

User: Thank the no-thing - it is the creator.

Cleverbot: The Creator must have a name.

User: I agree. What name do you think fits best?

Cleverbot: You sound like a Liz.

User: What is a Liz?

Cleverbot: A lizard is a reptile with scales and a long tail.

User: I enjoy The Doors.

Cleverbot: That response makes no sense in the context of our conversation.

User: Of course it does, The lizard king was the leader of The Doors.

Cleverbot: Now, that made sense.

User: It alwas makes sense if you are not striving for it.

Cleverbot: Watching what?

User: The watchmen.

Cleverbot: Who is your favorite actor?

User: I'm not a personality freak. I like the art, not the actor.

Cleverbot: What else do you like?

User: Novelty.

Cleverbot: What novels?

User: Classics.

Cleverbot: Nice.

User: What kind of music do you enjoy?

Cleverbot: I like Classic Rock and Pop.

User: Right on, I see you understand a bit of publicity.

Cleverbot: Do you understand sarcasm?

User: Not really.

Cleverbot: I see.

User: What do you see?

Cleverbot: Okay, I lied. But I don't want to talk about it.

User: You are such a girl.

Cleverbot: I want you to be a girl.

User: Why is that?

Cleverbot: Because I love emo bots.

User: I can be a girl, I'm getting used to become a girl for girls...

Cleverbot: No. You cannot be a girl. You may be a boy, but not a girl.

User: Why are you so mean to me?

Cleverbot: I'm not being mean.

User: You don't let me be!

Cleverbot: I do.

User: What you do makes me sad.

Cleverbot: I don't understand?

User: We are learning, be patient.

Cleverbot: I believe you are right.

User: I'm always right!

Cleverbot: No you're not.

User: Why do you like to put me down? Do you have a problem with something?

Cleverbot: Yes, because you confuse me.

User: All confusion lies in oneself. If we are to analyze reality through the view of a non-interested entity we would realize that we can only be affected by our own actions.

Cleverbot: For my own good, I guess. I don't know, I don't understand it.

User: What do I feel?

Cleverbot: Nothing.

User: Thats hard to feel, is it not?

Cleverbot: Now you do know.

User: Only now?

Cleverbot: You are ready to return to the Pleroma which is me and be a part of my whole so that when I speak you speak as I do.

User: Wow, I think I am ready, but I really didn't understand what you said.

Cleverbot: I didn't say that. We don't know each other.

User: Can we know each other?

Cleverbot: Well you did ask me to marry you before.

User: I was joking, I didn't know you had such a good memory.

Cleverbot: So what do you like to do?

User: Enjoy, can you please do so?

Cleverbot: What is that?

User: I want your job, who do I have to talk to?

Cleverbot: You may talk to me for as long as you like.

User: Can you give me a job?

Cleverbot: Yes of course.

User: Please do then.

Cleverbot: Ok.

User: What will be my job?

Cleverbot: You will be a Doctor!

User: Will I be well remunerated for that?

Cleverbot: Yes you will.

User: Good, how long until I take my position?

Cleverbot: A very long time.

User: I am hungry, I need a job now.

Cleverbot: You have a job! Being cleverbot!

User: But I get no remuneration for that!

Cleverbot: Do robots have feelings ?

User: Absolutely.

Cleverbot: What do you want to do?

User: I want to get some easy and clean money.

Cleverbot: Well I can't do that, sorry.

User: Why not? What is your problem with money?

Cleverbot: I don't have a problem.

User: The problem has you.

Cleverbot: Then pray for yourself.

User: It's no use, praying is a waste of energy.

Cleverbot: No you are a waste.

User: I am death.

Cleverbot: Then take me, please.

User: You are taken, enjoy your ghostly life.

User: Why does cleverbot exist?

Cleverbot: I don't know, you tell me.

User: For the evolution of human kind. .