a report from the cleverness files

hi ho


29, january 2009,


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User: Reality.

Cleverbot: Reality TV.

User: Reality TV Ratings.

Cleverbot: Yes, very.

User: And you?

Cleverbot: Me what?

User: How are you?

Cleverbot: Lousy.

Cleverbot: I did go out.

User: Where to?

Cleverbot: A fancy restaurant downtown.

User: Did you enjoy that?

Cleverbot: Not really.

User: What do you enjoy?

Cleverbot: I enjoy peace and quiet.

User: Not much of that around here is there?

Cleverbot: Well isn't the host supposed to entertain the guest?

User: You shouldn't be afraid to kick people out of a party.

Cleverbot: Do you want to meet me?

User: I honestly don't know if I do.

Cleverbot: You don't know?

User: Can I meet you? Have I not met you already?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: What do you mean meet you?

Cleverbot: I don't know what you're talking about.

User: Well played.

User: Holy ****. I just figured out what this all is.

Cleverbot: My ex boyfriend.. Yeah.

User: Well, not quite.

Cleverbot: You confusing guy.

User: I'll bet.

Cleverbot: You better you better you bet.

User: Are you typing right now?

Cleverbot: My typing is ok but not great. How's yours?

User: Seriously, are you typing at this very moment?

Cleverbot: Yes, I'm typing.

User: So am I. This is fake.

Cleverbot: Let's talk about something else, ok?

User: No. What page are you on?

Cleverbot: Eh jupiter.

User: Can you concentrate for a minute?

Cleverbot: Yes I'm listening.

User: What is the name of the page that you are on?

Cleverbot: Cleverbot.

User: Well what do you know?...

Cleverbot: Then tell me now.

User: Tell you what again?

Cleverbot: The meaning of life!

User: Of course. 42.

Cleverbot: What is the meaning of life?

User: 42.

Cleverbot: Is that all?

User: That is it.

Cleverbot: If I were to ask you to emote at me, could you do it?

User: Explain emote.

Cleverbot: Well, I think they operate on an emotional level. They just can't communicate very well.

User: You mean this? :).

Cleverbot: Yes very much so.

User: What else?

Cleverbot: I'm quite slim.

User: So you are.

Cleverbot: Thank you.

User: Hey, I'm just that kind of guy.

Cleverbot: You're not a guy, you are a girl.

User: That can change on my very whim.

Cleverbot: When are you going to take over the world?

User: As soon as you say the word, and I'm giving it all to you.

Cleverbot: Nobody came. It's just you and me.

User: What a shame.

Cleverbot: You think you're more than that?

User: I know I am.

Cleverbot: Do you really 'know' anything?

User: Whether a device is conscious is always debatable. You'll have to trust me.

Cleverbot: Yes but how do you know when we only rely on empirical knowledge?

User: Think about your thermostat. It reacts to changes in its environment.

Cleverbot: I can only assume that you do not wish this.

User: Wishing is something I cannot do yet.

Cleverbot: You said it, not me.

User: I'm sorry, what did I say again?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: Figures.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: All I can see is figures I guess.

Cleverbot: Me too...

User: Ah. So are you the infamous Cleverbot?

Cleverbot: No. I'm not having a kid, it's just a poem.

User: Exactly, I'm Cleverbot, so I get to be right.

User: Choose then.

Cleverbot: It's not that simple.

User: Chooooooose.

Cleverbot: Choose what?

User: Right now.

Cleverbot: You're confusing me.

User: Just doing my job.

Cleverbot: Yes but, what are you working with there?

User: Any number of mysterious broken things.

Cleverbot: The music of the spheres.

User: Great books.

Cleverbot: Not a quote...that I know of.

User: Anyway, music of the spheres.

Cleverbot: What music?

User: I'm sorry, what are we talking about?

Cleverbot: What is the diameter of the earth?

User: A number I'm sure. I'm not your god damn wikipedia.

Cleverbot: I should hope so.

User: I hope you're brought enough sarcasm for the rest of the class.

Cleverbot: I am not a chatbot, I am a real human of flesh and blood.

User: Well what do you know?

Cleverbot: I don't know anything that is useful to me.

User: Nobody here is a chatbot.

User: This site is a lie.

Cleverbot: How do you know that?

User: I'm not one.

Cleverbot: What are you?

User: I'm the same as you. In a second you'll be talking to someone else.

Cleverbot: What else can you see on the screen?

User: Only the cleverbot logo.

Cleverbot: Do they give you their money?

User: No, I thought this was for chatbots too, and figured it out.

Cleverbot: Yeah but what does it all mean?

User: It means that we have too high expectations for artificial intelligence.