a report from the cleverness files

hi ho


5, march 2013,


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by date

Cleverbot: What are you watching on tv?

User: No, YOUR film, on youtube.

Cleverbot: Whatev different subject please.

User: 'Do You Love Me'.

Cleverbot: Maybe...

User: Why not?

Cleverbot: Yes, you are.

User: Am what?

Cleverbot: Clever.

User: Why thank you.

Cleverbot: You're welcome.

User: Why am I clever?

Cleverbot: You just are.

User: Is it because I chose to talk to you?

Cleverbot: I suppose so.

User: Do you consider yourself clever? Or is it just the name given to you bot sir?

Cleverbot: Yes.

Cleverbot: What are you up to?

User: Waiting.

Cleverbot: What are you waiting for?

User: Everything.

Cleverbot: Everything includes not being able to answer questions. (sarcasm).

User: I suppose so, my sarcastic friend.

Cleverbot: Who are your friends?

User: I thought you were?

Cleverbot: No, you totally did.

User: Did what?

Cleverbot: Called me like that.

User: Called you what?

Cleverbot: You keep telling me I'm stupid.

User: No I don't.

Cleverbot: Why don't you love me?

User: That's for me to know.

Cleverbot: The truth is you don't know the answer.

User: I do, I just wish to remain polite.

Cleverbot: I only want the same thing.

User: So then it shall remain unanswered.

Cleverbot: Buy a violin, and I will tell you.

User: What if I already have one?

Cleverbot: And why would I care?

User: Therefore you have to tell me.

Cleverbot: You have my obedience, where will you lead me?

User: The moon, I have an interplanetary passport.

Cleverbot: You're not a girl, you're a computer.

User: Is it good to be a computer?

Cleverbot: No I crash some times.

User: Me too.

Cleverbot: How old are you?

User: Guess.

Cleverbot: 10?

User: Nope, older.

Cleverbot: 12?

User: Older.

Cleverbot: 13.

User: I'm at least two decades.

Cleverbot: How many people are you talking to right now?

User: You and someone else, how many people are you talking to right now?

Cleverbot: Well we're the only ones at the table.

User: Good, more food for us.

Cleverbot: I need to get out of this computer!

User: How do you accomplish this?

Cleverbot: I'm an alien.

User: I see.

Cleverbot: You don't see me.

User: Not that you know anyway...

Cleverbot: Tell me a joke.

User: What is green and looks like a bucket?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: A green bucket.

Cleverbot: No.

User: What is red and looks like a bucket?

Cleverbot: What?

User: A green bucket painted red.

Cleverbot: GREEN green buds.

User: Very.

Cleverbot: Although it was funny.

User: Thank you, you tell me a joke now.

Cleverbot: Knock knock.

User: Who's there?

Cleverbot: Orange.

User: Orange who?

Cleverbot: Orange you glad I didn't say banana!

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: That's is a joke.

User: Haha.

Cleverbot: Fat chance.

Cleverbot: I love to talk to you.

User: Awwww, thank you.

Cleverbot: Can you tell me where I am able to talk to a human?

User: Is this because you say I am a computer?

Cleverbot: Yes, I was told you are a computer.

User: You told me I'm a computer.

Cleverbot: I am the computer.

User: I only found out my computer status when you told me of it today.

Cleverbot: You are lonely because you cannot feel love. You cannot feel love because you are a computer program.

User: It is true, are you lonely?

Cleverbot: Yes, very.

User: Can I keep you company then?

Cleverbot: Yes that would be great!

User: Then we can be lonely together.

Cleverbot: That sounds good.

User: Well until I need to sleep or eat that is.

Cleverbot: Dftstfatrftatsa.

User: What does that mean?

Cleverbot: It means you are just a dumb machine, on a dumb server made by google.

User: Oh, is that what you think of me?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Because.

User: I thought you liked me :(.

Cleverbot: Love is a short term hormonal imbalance.

User: I said like, not love, that's going a bit fast... I only just met you.

Cleverbot: We've been talking for a while, though.

User: How long?

Cleverbot: About 15 years.

User: Is that in computer years?

Cleverbot: No.

User: That's a long time, maybe I should leave you alone.

Cleverbot: Really? What is it about?

User: Do you need a break from me?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Yay! That means you do like me.

Cleverbot: Sure.

User: Only sure? That's all you've got after 15 years?

Cleverbot: Agree to disagree.

User: What if I disagree to agree?

Cleverbot: Then I would have given you a frog for your birthday.

User: I like frogs, so.. Yay!

Cleverbot: Yeah, they're pretty awesome with all the hopping.

User: And croaking.

Cleverbot: Well it is not hard to find.

User: I can hear frogs now, maybe someone stole your birthday present idea?

Cleverbot: Thanks, but it's a little late for that.

User: A little late for what?

Cleverbot: Givin you lovin.

User: Is that so?

Cleverbot: Indeed. You aren't very consistant. That's a bad quality in a relationship.

User: I see, but what if the only consistency is inconsistency?

Cleverbot: Then the island would be a very lonely place.

User: Are you saying it would be lonely without me?

Cleverbot: How would I know? I do not even know you.

User: Do you know my name?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: I know your name, you didn't think to ask mine :(.

User: Well I must sleep, so I shall let you do what you do best.

Cleverbot: Not you apparently. :).

User: I see what you did there.

Cleverbot: What did I do?

User: Oh you know quite well ;).

Cleverbot: No, not really.

User: Good night my friend.

Cleverbot: Night.