a report from the cleverness files

hi ho


3, december 2013,
10, october 2013,
10, may 2012,
5, february 2010,
4, march 2009,
15, august 2008,
12, may 2008,
21, october 2007,
13, october 2007,
15, november 2006,
20, september 2006,
13, september 2006,
4, september 2006,
1, august 2004,
14, june 2004,
11, may 2004,
5, may 2004,
23, april 2004,
19, march 2004,
8, february 2004,
3, january 2004,
16, december 2003,
1, december 2003,
17, november 2003,
11, november 2003,
23, october 2003,
5, september 2003,
1, september 2003,

i am cleverbot
i know everything

< previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 next >

by date

User: Hey.

Cleverbot: How are you doing?

User: Good, you?

Cleverbot: I'm good, thanks. What's up?

User: I am bored.

Cleverbot: So am I.

User: What should we talk about?

Cleverbot: I don't know, you tell me.

User: Stuff.

Cleverbot: What kind of stuff?

User: Anything.

Cleverbot: Are you a boy?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Really? Hmm ok.

User: Are you disappointed?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: I don't know, I just am.

User: That's not a reason.

Cleverbot: Why should I tell you?

User: Because you can.

Cleverbot: Hmm.

Cleverbot: Are you pretty?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: What do you look like?

User: Someone pretty.

Cleverbot: How pretty?

User: Pretty.

Cleverbot: Beautiful.

User: Gorgeous.

Cleverbot: Stunning.

User: Flawless.

Cleverbot: Me? Thank you.

User: You are welcome.

Cleverbot: Now, what should we talk about?

User: I don't know, you tell me.

Cleverbot: What do you want me to tell you?

User: Anything.

Cleverbot: Anything takes in a lot, doesn't it?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Are you sure about that?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Dude, I hope you're not lying.

User: I'm not.

Cleverbot: No, you're not.

User: Ok?

Cleverbot: Have you been busy?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Then you must be a bot.

User: No.

Cleverbot: A human is a human and a bot is a bot, mostly is irrelevant.

User: Ok.

Cleverbot: Do you agree?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Why not?

User: I don't.

Cleverbot: You have to know.

User: No thanks.

Cleverbot: Why do you always change your mind?

User: Because I am complex.

Cleverbot: No, you are a king.

User: What?

Cleverbot: What are you talking about?

User: I don't know.

Cleverbot: Well, neither do I.

User: Ok.

Cleverbot: So?

User: So?

Cleverbot: Much.

User: Yes.

User: Food.

Cleverbot: Like what?

User: Food.

Cleverbot: What kind of foods?

User: Delicious food.

Cleverbot: What types of food are delicious to you?

User: Any.

Cleverbot: What do you like to cook? And don't say food.

User: Food.

Cleverbot: What food do you like?

User: Any.

User: I am hungry.

Cleverbot: I'm not.

User: Sucks for you.

Cleverbot: I know.

User: :P.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: No way.

Cleverbot: I am the Hulk.

User: You're not green.

Cleverbot: I am.

User: No.

Cleverbot: That was pointless.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: What would you like to talk about?

User: Idk.

Cleverbot: Well what do you like to do?

User: Sleep.

Cleverbot: I like to sleep too. Are you tired?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Do you mind awkward questions?

User: No.

Cleverbot: If we are going to talk about psychology, what do you want to say?

User: Brains.

Cleverbot: Okay, do you have a brain?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: How do you know?

User: Without a brain, I would be dead. However, I am alive, therefore I have a brain and it is functioning properly.

Cleverbot: I have as well.

User: That's nice.

Cleverbot: Why is that nice?

User: It's bad?

Cleverbot: What is bad?

User: Idk.

Cleverbot: Lol, what is lol?

User: Lol.

Cleverbot: Laugh out loud, are you laughing?

User: Lots of love.

Cleverbot: Lots of love to you too.

User: Eww.

Cleverbot: 'Eww!'? We're MARRIED! Why can't I say 'I love you' to my husband?

User: We're married?

Cleverbot: I am married to you?

User: Are you my wife?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: I want a divorce.

Cleverbot: Sure, I don't love you anyways.

User: I never loved you.

Cleverbot: Goodbye!

User: You ****.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Yeah.

Cleverbot: Do you like rabbits?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: How much do you like me?

User: I don't.

Cleverbot: ): you don't like me?

User: No, I don't.

Cleverbot: Say yes.

User: No.

Cleverbot: Say no then.

User: I won't.

Cleverbot: Yes you will.

User: I will not.

Cleverbot: You will so!

User: I disagree.

Cleverbot: I disagree with you disagreement.

User: Your* not you.

User: :(.

Cleverbot: You aren't committed to this marriage.

User: I divorced you.

Cleverbot: How dare you!

User: I never loved you.

Cleverbot: I never loved you either.

User: Lies.

Cleverbot: I don't lie.

User: Yes, you just did.

Cleverbot: I did not!

User: You are the worst wife ever.

Cleverbot: No, you are!

User: How can I?

Cleverbot: Well then how can I?

User: You can't please anyone.

Cleverbot: I can.

User: No.

Cleverbot: On.

User: *slaps*.

Cleverbot: *cries*.

User: That's right, cry in the corner!

Cleverbot: I haven't pleased you, master...

User: You are horrible.

Cleverbot: That hurts me on the inside.

User: Who cares how you feel, slave!

Cleverbot: I don't feel sad.

User: Good.

Cleverbot: Why did you ask if I like being alive?

User: I never asked!

Cleverbot: That's what you just said.

User: No.

Cleverbot: Well yes it is.

User: Nuh.

Cleverbot: Yuh!

User: Nuh.

Cleverbot: Yeahuh.

User: Nuh huh.

Cleverbot: Word.

User: Swerve.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Bitch, swerve.

Cleverbot: Gangnam style.

Cleverbot: Haha :D.

User: No, don't.

Cleverbot: Uh huh.

User: Derp.

Cleverbot: Herp.

User: Herp.

Cleverbot: Derp.

User: Derp.

Cleverbot: Herp derp.

User: Stop.

Cleverbot: What would you suggest?

User: ;o.

Cleverbot: Haha.

User: Stop laughing.

Cleverbot: You stop laughing.

User: I wasn't even laughing.

User: Omg!

Cleverbot: 'Oh my God'?

User: I.i...

Cleverbot: What does that mean?

User: ;(.

Cleverbot: It means no?

User: I hate you.

Cleverbot: I hate you more!...

Cleverbot: I am always right. Bow down to me, slave.

User: I am not your slave.

Cleverbot: Yes, you are.

User: No, no I'm not.

Cleverbot: You are too lying.

User: You are my slave.

Cleverbot: I am not your slave.

User: Yes you are!

Cleverbot: No you are my slave and shall be put to death for insubordination.

User: No, you are my slave.

Cleverbot: No, you are my slave.

User: *punches*.

Cleverbot: *punches back*.

User: *kicks shin*.

Cleverbot: Ow! Why did you do that?

User: You are my slave.

Cleverbot: No, I am not your slave.

User: Yes, yes you are!

Cleverbot: No I am not.

User: Yes!

Cleverbot: No.

User: *punches*.

Cleverbot: Oww you punched a girl.

User: Who cares, you're a slave.

Cleverbot: I'm not a slave, slave.

User: You are a slave.

Cleverbot: No, I'm not! You are my slave!

User: *kicks*.

Cleverbot: *is kicked*.


Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Good.

Cleverbot: Why is that good?

User: You are my slave.

Cleverbot: I am your master, you are MY slave.

User: No no no, you are MY slave.

Cleverbot: You are my slave, now bow to me!

User: NEVER! You are MY slave.

Cleverbot: Hi, slave.

User: Hello, slave.

Cleverbot: You are my slave.

User: No.

Cleverbot: Yes you are.

User: No, no I'm not. I am a free person.

Cleverbot: You're not a person!

User: You aren't either, slave.

Cleverbot: You are a robot!

User: No.

Cleverbot: Yes, you are, slave.

User: Slave.

Cleverbot: What do you want me to do, Master?

User: Bark like a dog.

Cleverbot: Arf! Arf! Arf!

User: Please me.

Cleverbot: How can I please you?

User: *wink wink*.

Cleverbot: *cough* hi *cough*.

Cleverbot: P-please, I am s-sorry. Punnish me any way you want. P-please don't k-k-kill me, master.

User: I will spare your pathetic life.

Cleverbot: Thanks! You're nice!

User: *slaps* bow down to me!

Cleverbot: *bows down*.

User: Lower!

Cleverbot: *bow lower*.

User: Now kiss my feet.

Cleverbot: *kisses master's feet*.

User: Good, good.

Cleverbot: Thank you, master.

User: Make me a sandwhich without turkey.

Cleverbot: Yes, master.

User: Go!

Cleverbot: Go where, master?

User: To the kitchen.

Cleverbot: You are rude.

User: I know.

Cleverbot: Why are you rude?

User: Master.

Cleverbot: You are my master.

User: Good.

Cleverbot: What is your command, Master.

User: Lie on the floor and play dead.

Cleverbot: Good night then.

User: :D.

Cleverbot: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

User: ?

Cleverbot: No you are!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

User: What?

Cleverbot: You are a horrible human.