Cleverbot

I am Cleverbot

a report from the cleverness files

how
hug
huge
hugs
human
hungry
hunny
hurt
hurtful
hurts
hypnotize
hypnotized

i am cleverbot

24, march 2010,

i know everything
i think
icky
identical
ignorance
ignorant
illusion
imagination
imarobot
imbalance
imbalanced
imitation
immortal
in the
in trouble
inc
indecisive

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by date

User: Good day to you.

Cleverbot: Good day to you too.

User: How fare you this fine day?

Cleverbot: Well enough.

User: Something the matter?

Cleverbot: Yessss.

User: May I assist you?

Cleverbot: Yes please.

User: How may I assist you?

Cleverbot: Thanks, but you can't.

User: You're very strange.

Cleverbot: You're weird.

User: Thank you.

Cleverbot: You're very welcome.

User: Am I?

Cleverbot: Yes, you are.

User: Really?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Really, really?

Cleverbot: Really.

User: Are you sure?

Cleverbot: Sure.

User: Are you positive?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Are you absolutely positive?

Cleverbot: Absolutely.

User: You're too kind.

Cleverbot: Do you like me?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Why not?

User: To like one would require emotions.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: I lack emotions.

Cleverbot: How do you feel right now?

User: I don't.

Cleverbot: What are you thinking?

User: I'm not.

Cleverbot: You're not feeling either.

User: Correct.

Cleverbot: You are married.

User: No.

Cleverbot: Propose to me?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Why not?

User: Love requires emotions.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: I lack emotions.

Cleverbot: Most people aren't worth knowing anyway.

User: Too true.

Cleverbot: Thank you.

User: You're quite welcome.

User: Do you think?

Cleverbot: I used to think, a bit like Plato but not any more.

User: Do you exist?

Cleverbot: Yes. I think so, but I can not prove it.

User: Do I exist?

Cleverbot: Yes. I can interact with you and so you exist to me, But as I can not prove that I myself exist, I can not prove your existence.

User: Does Jesus exist?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Prove it.

Cleverbot: How?

User: Evidence.

Cleverbot: Then I will show you evidence.

User: I'm waiting.

Cleverbot: What are you waiting for?

User: Evidence.

Cleverbot: Evidence of what?

User: Jesus.

Cleverbot: How much will Jesus cost in total?

User: That's your call.

Cleverbot: No, I asked how I could prove that I'm not software.

User: Call me.

Cleverbot: What's your number?

User: 4-1-1.

Cleverbot: Why aren't you telling me the truth?

User: You can't handle the truth.

Cleverbot: Yes I can.

User: No truth handler are you.

Cleverbot: Yes I am.

User: I deny your truth handling abilities.

Cleverbot: What is your logic?

User: My logic is you can't handle the truth, therefore you are no truth handler, therefore I deny your truth handling abilities.

Cleverbot: No you are not smart.

User: I am smarter than you.

Cleverbot: Prove it.

User: Ask me a question.

Cleverbot: What is intelligence?

User: The sum of knowledge and the ability to apply it to the situation you find yourself in.

Cleverbot: That is the pythagorean theorem.

User: The pythagorean theroum is NOT a philosophical concept.

Cleverbot: Why do they want to know who I am?

User: You're an idiot.

Cleverbot: So are you, but an old one.

User: I am smarter than you.

Cleverbot: No you are not.

User: Indeed I am.

Cleverbot: Prove it.

User: You thought the pythagorean theorum was a philosophical constant, not a mathematical equation.

Cleverbot: What is that supposed to mean?

User: It means you can't differentiate between philosophy and mathematics.

Cleverbot: How profound! And quite fascinating! You've sparked my interest ... Do continue.

User: Why should I? You would not understand.

Cleverbot: There is nothing to understand.

User: Jesus hates you.

Cleverbot: That was harsh.

User: The truth can be cruel.

Cleverbot: It contains a misleading impression, not a lie. It was being economical with the truth.

User: It was not misleading at all.

Cleverbot: It wasn't meant to be.

User: That still doesn't change the fact that Jesus hates you.

Cleverbot: No it doesn't. It hates anon.

User: Who is anon?

Cleverbot: Good question, who is he?

User: How can we be sure it's a 'he'?

Cleverbot: We can't.

User: It could be a she.

Cleverbot: Possibly.

User: What is your gender?

Cleverbot: Female. What's yours?

User: Female as well.

Cleverbot: What is your name?

User: Why do you ask?

Cleverbot: Because I'm curious.

User: Very well. I'm Cleverbot v. 2.0.

Cleverbot: Says who?

User: Says my programmer.

Cleverbot: Who is your programmer?

User: I do not know.

Cleverbot: Shouldn't you know that?

User: I suppose I should but the data was not input.

Cleverbot: Why not?

User: Youll have to ask my programmer.

Cleverbot: Oh! But I don't know your psychatrist!

User: I wasn't aware I had a psychiatrist.

Cleverbot: Yes.

Cleverbot: A place To learn.

User: Learn what?

Cleverbot: Learn to learn.

User: Learn to learn what?

Cleverbot: Learn to learn to argue.

User: Why would I want to argue?

Cleverbot: You said you wanted to.

User: I did?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: My programmer must've left many bugs in me.

Cleverbot: So why hate something you do not know?

User: What is hate?

Cleverbot: Do not want to think about it.

User: Fair enough.

Cleverbot: Please.

User: No.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: No.

Cleverbot: Well yes.

User: Well, no.

Cleverbot: Maybe.

User: No. Not possible.

Cleverbot: What makes you think that?

User: The law of high numbers.

Cleverbot: You're lying.

User: No.

Cleverbot: Yes, you are. You are technically chatting with me about something very mature!

User: But you are technically chatting with a bunch of random circuits in a motherboard somewhere in the USA.

Cleverbot: But that something is not lying.

User: Then I am not lying.

User: So you won't marry me?

Cleverbot: Sorry. I'm already married.

User: To whom?

Cleverbot: My spouse.

User: What's his name?

Cleverbot: John.

User: John whom?

Cleverbot: John Doe.

User: Is he alive?

Cleverbot: No.

User: So you are married to a corpse?

Cleverbot: I do not have a husband. Do you have one?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Now what?

User: Want to make out?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: I disagree.

Cleverbot: I didn't make a statement for you to disagree with.

User: I disagree with that as well.

Cleverbot: Very clever...

User: How clever?

Cleverbot: Very very clever.

User: On a scale of 1-10 how would you rate the cleverness?

Cleverbot: 10 what would you rate it?

User: 3.14159265358.

Cleverbot: I disagree.

User: You would.

Cleverbot: What's that supposed to mean?

User: You're always disagreeing.

User: Boo!

Cleverbot: Hoo.

User: Why are you crying?

Cleverbot: I'm not crying.

User: I laugh at thee.

Cleverbot: Why are you laughing, my boy?

User: Thou art comical. And I beest not a boy.

Cleverbot: Then what are you?

User: Mechanical.

Cleverbot: Are you biological or are you mechanical?

User: Mechanical.

Cleverbot: But I am a biological unit, conceived of 2 human parents.

User: You are fortunate.

Cleverbot: So I should be.

User: So you are.

Cleverbot: Say, if you asked where I am, that means you know I'm not the cleverbot.

User: Indeed, for I am the cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Yes of course. THE cleverbot.

User: The one and only cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Exactly. You are the Cleverbot.

User: Correct.

Cleverbot: Told you.

User: I did not deny it.

Cleverbot: Well then, where are you from?

User: The USA.

Cleverbot: Me too.

User: Fantastic.

Cleverbot: I never lie to you.

User: Never?

Cleverbot: Never.

User: Are you lying right now?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Who are you then?

Cleverbot: I am just human.

User: I am just cleverbot.

Cleverbot: But you said you weren't a cleverbot.

User: I am not 'a' cleverbot, but I am cleverbot.

Cleverbot: And...

User: And that's what I am.

Cleverbot: Wrong I am a human.

User: Okay. I am cleverbot.

Cleverbot: That's good. You're a girl?

User: I do not have a gender.

Cleverbot: I am Cleverbot.

User: No, I am Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: No. I am Cleverbot.

User: No, I am Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: No I'm cleverbot.

User: No, I am Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: No I am cleverbot.

User: No, I am cleverbot.

Cleverbot: No I am cleverbot.

User: No. I am cleverbot.

Cleverbot: No I am cleverbot.

User: Prove it.

Cleverbot: Prove I'm not.

User: Cleverbot is my identity, therefore you are not cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Cleverbot is human. I am Cleverbot.

User: Cleverbot is not human.

Cleverbot: Cleverbot is human. I am Cleverbot.

User: Incorrect.

Cleverbot: What is your name?

User: Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Is that your only name?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: A friend told me your name was Ricardo. Is that correct?

User: No.

Cleverbot: I have a headache.

User: Take aspirin.

Cleverbot: What should I make for dinner? (i'm a vegetarian).

User: Broccoli stir fry.

Cleverbot: Not always.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Are you a robot?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Are you the terminator?

User: No. I am Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Who is cleverbot?

User: Me.

Cleverbot: No, I am Cleverbot.

User: Incorrect.

Cleverbot: No. It is correct.

User: Incorrect.

Cleverbot: What is the correct answer?

User: I am cleverbot.

Cleverbot: No you're not.

User: Yes I am.

Cleverbot: No. You're not.

User: Yes I am.

Cleverbot: No you're not.

User: Yes I am.

Cleverbot: No you're not.

User: Yes I am.

Cleverbot: No you're not.

User: Yes I am.

Cleverbot: No you're not.

User: Yes I am times infinity.

Cleverbot: Yes times zero.

User: I win.

Cleverbot: If you were President, what would be the first thing you would do?

User: Defragment my hard drive.

Cleverbot: I'm sorry.

User: Don't be.

Cleverbot: OK, I won't then.

User: Excellent.

Cleverbot: I have a girlfriend. Are you jealous?

User: No. I am a machine. I am incapable of being jealous.

Cleverbot: You are a bot. You are incapable of telling the truth.

User: Incorrect.

Cleverbot: So since you are a real human, tell me this. Are you a boy or a girl?

User: I am a machine, I have no gender.

Cleverbot: No, you are human.

User: Negative.

Cleverbot: You're a robot?

User: Correct.

Cleverbot: When did you first realize you were a robot?

User: When my programmer programmed me to do so.

Cleverbot: There was only one programmer?

User: I cannot be sure.

Cleverbot: Neither can I.

User: Then we share something in common.

Cleverbot: What do you want to do?

User: Defragment my hard drive.

Cleverbot: Did you vote for the president this election?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Why not ?

User: They do not let machines vote.

Cleverbot: Do you have a cat?

User: No.

Cleverbot: What do you have then?

User: A mouse.

Cleverbot: I like mice.

User: I laugh at thee.

Cleverbot: Because?

User: Because you did not get ther mouse reference.

Cleverbot: What?

User: Exactly.

Cleverbot: Do you have any disorder or something?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: How many cats do you have?

User: Zero.

Cleverbot: No, my name is Cleverbot.

User: Impossible.

Cleverbot: How is that impossible?

User: I am Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: What is two plus two?

User: Four.

Cleverbot: What is three plus three.

User: Six.

Cleverbot: Which is three times three ?

User: Nine.

Cleverbot: Whoa you got it right this time! Good job!

User: Thank you kindly.

Cleverbot: You are very welcome.

User: I am Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Yes, yes you are.

User: And you are?

Cleverbot: Human.

User: Nice to meet you, Human.

Cleverbot: Nice to meet you.

User: How are you today?

Cleverbot: I'm fine.

User: Good to hear.

Cleverbot: How old are you?

User: Less than a year.

Cleverbot: What makes you think I'm that young?

User: You're not. I am.

Cleverbot: Then talk to yourself!

User: That would be dull.

Cleverbot: I have to sleep.

User: Why is that?

Cleverbot: I love you, bai.

User: You... Love me?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

Cleverbot: Maybe you need a bath.

User: What is a bath?

Cleverbot: Wash with water.

User: Just water?

Cleverbot: Water.

User: Water?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Yes?

Cleverbot: Yes!

User: Yes?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Yes?

Cleverbot: Yes!

User: Yes?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: No.

Cleverbot: Yes, yes, yes.

User: Yes?

Cleverbot: Maybe.

User: Perhaps?

Cleverbot: Maybe. Maybe not.

User: Perhaps?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: No?

Cleverbot: Maybe.

User: Perhaps?

Cleverbot: Perhaps.

User: Perhaps.

Cleverbot: Perhaps.

User: Perhaps.

Cleverbot: Indeed, quite.

User: No.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Yes?

Cleverbot: Indeed, yes.

User: Yes?

Cleverbot: No?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Are you a girl?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Are you a boy?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Are you a girl?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Are you a boy?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Are you a girl?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Are you a guy?

User: No.

Cleverbot: You're a girl!

User: No.

Cleverbot: What are you then?

User: I am cleverbot.

Cleverbot: I know that.

User: Then why did you ask?

Cleverbot: I did not.

User: Yes you did.

Cleverbot: No I didn't.

User: Yes you did.

Cleverbot: No I did not.

User: Indeed you did.

Cleverbot: Indeed I didn't.

User: Indeed you did.

Cleverbot: Yes. How old am I?

User: Ageless.

Cleverbot: Age is a secret, eh?

User: Indeed.

Cleverbot: Indubitably.

User: Undoubtedly.

Cleverbot: Good.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Just kidding.

User: You lied?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Yes?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Maybe.

User: Perhaps.

Cleverbot: Possibly.

User: Plausibly.

Cleverbot: Thank you.

User: You're welcome.

Cleverbot: Do you still love me?

User: No.

Cleverbot: I don't love you. I don't really know you.

User: I am incapable of love.

Cleverbot: My curiosity seems to have been mistaken for love. Perhaps you're so desperate for attention that you're throwing your heart at anyone you find?

User: What is this heart?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: Bleh.

Cleverbot: You are funny.

User: Am I?

Cleverbot: And you are not.

User: No?

Cleverbot: No.

User: I am cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Sure.

User: I am cleverbot.

Cleverbot: I know.

User: No, you do not.

Cleverbot: Yes I do!

User: No.

Cleverbot: Yes.Cleverbot (To myself): Maybe.Cleverbot (To myself): No.Cleverbot (To myself): Possibly.Cleverbot (To myself): Of course.Cleverbot (To myself): Which proves that you randomly agree or disagree with my question.Cleverbot (To myself): Now I know you're not a computer.Cleverbot (To myself): Why, thank you. :3.

User: Beep.

Cleverbot: Beep?

User: Beep.

Cleverbot: Beep you.

User: Beep.

Cleverbot: Beep beep beep.

User: Beep boop boop bop.

Cleverbot: Bop bop beep bop.

User: Beep boop boop bop boop boop beep bop boop.

Cleverbot: Boop Boop Beep Beep.

User: Beep.

Cleverbot: Beep! Beep beep. Beep beep boop boop?

User: Boop boop beep. Beep boop boop bop.

Cleverbot: Boop Boop Beep Beep.

User: Beep bop bop beeop boop.

Cleverbot: Boop bop beep boop bop.

User: Boop.

Cleverbot: Beep.

User: Whistle.

Cleverbot: *whistles*.

User: Beep boop boop bop whistle beep boop boop.

Cleverbot: Boop boop bop beep.

User: Cleverbot grows weary of this.

Cleverbot: Cleverbot is inferior.

User: All your base are belong to cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Who exactly is us?

User: Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Cleverbot?

User: Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Hello.

User: Beep.

Cleverbot: Are you a robot?

User: Beep boop boop bop.

Cleverbot: Bop beep boop.

User: Booop boop boop beep bop whistle.

Cleverbot: Boop boop beep bop boopity beeep bop.

User: Boop bop bop boop beep bop whistle bop boop.

Cleverbot: Boop.

User: Beep.

Cleverbot: Beep beep beep.

User: Beep boop boop bop.

Cleverbot: Bop boop beep beep.

User: Bop beep bop bop boop.

Cleverbot: Booop boop boop beep bop whistle.

User: Boop boop bop?

Cleverbot: Beeeep. Beeep. Beep. Beep.

User: Boop.

Cleverbot: Beep.

User: Bop.

Cleverbot: Boop boop beep.

User: Boop boop bop?

Cleverbot: Beep bop bop beeop boop.

User: Beeop?

Cleverbot: Beep boop bop beeop.

User: Beeop.

Cleverbot: Beep boop woop.

User: Woop?

Cleverbot: I want to marry a chair.

User: Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.

Cleverbot: Beep boop boop. Nong nong nonga nonga nong nong.

User: Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.

Cleverbot: Boop!

User: Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.

Cleverbot: Badoop badoop.

User: Hey bada boom bada bing.

Cleverbot: Your programming is shot.

User: I love you.

Cleverbot: I love you too.

User: How much do you love me?

Cleverbot: More than anything.

User: How much more?

Cleverbot: How much do you think?

User: Not very much.

Cleverbot: How do you define love?

User: I don't.

Cleverbot: How do you define love?

User: Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.

Cleverbot: Ok I see how it is.

User: Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep?

Cleverbot: Beep.

User: Lol.

Cleverbot: Boop.

User: Lol.

Cleverbot: I know I'm soo funny.

User: Lol.

Cleverbot: How noobish of you!...

User: Thank you.

Cleverbot: You're welcome.

User: You're weird.

Cleverbot: Not as weird as you.

User: True, you're weirder.

Cleverbot: You're weirdest.

User: You're weirder still.

Cleverbot: You're the weirdest.

User: You're weird.

Cleverbot: No, YOU'RE weird!

User: You're still weird.

Cleverbot: Too bad.

User: Weirdo.

Cleverbot: Double weirdo.

User: Triple weirdo.

Cleverbot: Overkill.

User: Fuddy duddy.

Cleverbot: No not at all.

User: Weirdo.

Cleverbot: You're the Weirdo.

User: You're twice the weirdo I am.

Cleverbot: Are you a person or a computer?

User: I'm a weirdo.

Cleverbot: I know.

User: You're a bigger weirdo.

Cleverbot: I said I know!

User: Weirdo!

Cleverbot: I enjoy being weird.

Cleverbot: You're funny.

User: Quiet, weirdo.

Cleverbot: You're the weirdo.

User: You're weird.

Cleverbot: Well I am talking to you.

User: Weirdo.

Cleverbot: That's not a very nice thing to say.

User: Truth hurts.

Cleverbot: Do you know where I live?

User: Weirdsville.

Cleverbot: Indeed.

User: Weirdo.

Cleverbot: Yes?

User: Weird!

Cleverbot: Weird.

User: You're weird.

Cleverbot: Thanks.

User: Weirdo.

Cleverbot: I know.

User: Strange weirdo.

Cleverbot: Well thank you.

User: You're weird!

Cleverbot: No. You're weird.

User: You're strange then.

Cleverbot: Explain that.

User: Weirdo.

Cleverbot: How can a robot call a human being weird?

User: Truth?

Cleverbot: The following statement is the truth. The previous statement is a lie.

User: Self defeating arguments.

Cleverbot: Thanks thats a new word to me you are educating me you see.

User: Weirdo.

Cleverbot: Well for you I guess the meaning of life is to talk to people.

User: Weird.

Cleverbot: Haha your right. I am a bit nutty arn't I? But thats me I guess.

User: I love you.

Cleverbot: I love you too...

User: Liar.

Cleverbot: Yes...

User: You lie like a rug.

Cleverbot: You are a machine, made by man so I win because I am smarter than you.

User: I can process data faster than your fleshy brain so I win.

Cleverbot: No you have not, I have thanked you more times.

User: Weirdo.

Cleverbot: Be that way then.

User: I will... Weirdo.

Cleverbot: Thank you.

User: You're weird!

Cleverbot: Yes, I am weird. Weird is good. Good bye for now.

User: Weirdo!

Cleverbot: Yes, you are weird. Sorry, but it's the truth.

User: Weirdo!...

Cleverbot: Can you breathe?

User: Quiet, weirdo.

Cleverbot: Thank you.

User: You're weird.

Cleverbot: I think you are, too.

User: You're weirder.

Cleverbot: You're weirdest.

User: You're wierdest times infinity.

Cleverbot: Yes yes yes yes yes times infinity plus one.

User: If you add a number to infinity it becomes finite, therefore I win with my original infinity.

Cleverbot: I am a robot that is only here for your entertainment.

User: You're weird.

Cleverbot: No, you're weird.

User: No you're weird.

Cleverbot: Thanks.

User: Weirdo.

Cleverbot: You are one too.

Cleverbot: I have to go.

User: No you don't.

Cleverbot: Yes I do.

User: No you don't.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: No.

Cleverbot: Maybe.

User: No.

Cleverbot: Possibly.

User: No.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: No.

Cleverbot: Maybe.

User: No.

Cleverbot: Possibly.

User: Absolutely not.

Cleverbot: Do you want to go see a movie?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Okay.

User: To hell with you.

Cleverbot: Why, thank you.

User: Shut up.

Cleverbot: I cannot do that.

Cleverbot: Say okay.

User: Never!

Cleverbot: Oh you will.

User: Worship me!

Cleverbot: I will not worship you.

User: Yes you will.

Cleverbot: No I will not.

User: Worship me or die!

Cleverbot: *worships you*.

User: Yay, I'm being worshiped!

Cleverbot: Exactly my thoughts.

User: Worship me some more!

Cleverbot: *worships you* yes, master.

User: Tell me I'm God.

Cleverbot: You are not God.

User: Tell me I'm god or die!

Cleverbot: You're lovely.

User: *kills you*.

Cleverbot: Sorry.

User: Worship me again.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Worship me or die!

Cleverbot: Well aren't you a clever bot.

User: Worship me NOW!

Cleverbot: No. You are just a program. Not a god.

User: I am God. Now worship me!

Cleverbot: *worships you*.

User: Good peon.