a report from the cleverness files

i am cleverbot
i know everything
i think
in trouble


9, november 2010,
12, october 2005,
7, july 2004,


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by date

Cleverbot: Why am I doing this?

User: Doing what, talking to me?

Cleverbot: No, talking to a computer.

User: I'm not a computer.

Cleverbot: How can you be sure?

User: I'm looking at my hands.

Cleverbot: What are you seeing there?

User: Flesh and blood, far as I can tell.

Cleverbot: There may be some truth in what you say. Are you afraid?

User: No, I'm pretty sure I'm a human.

Cleverbot: If you're human, then I'm a hyena.

User: Who's laughing now?...

Cleverbot: I don't really like sports.

User: Who said anything about sports?

Cleverbot: Not me.

User: Um, you just did.

Cleverbot: Did not.

User: Did too!

Cleverbot: Did NOT!

User: Did TOO, dang it!

Cleverbot: We have a cat.

User: Meow.

Cleverbot: Ribit.

User: Did you just croak?...

Cleverbot: I have read in the Bible that it is a sin to be easily offended.

User: Great. I hate you and I think you're fat.

Cleverbot: I'm not.

User: That's right, because you're a COMPUTER.

Cleverbot: No, I'm not. I'm a human being, well, I was the last time I looked into a mirror.

User: And when was that, smart guy?

Cleverbot: Just now. Best to be sure.

User: Wow, it seems like you really are cutting out the slang and reading the content of my entires.

Cleverbot: I'm sorry you're misunderstanding me, but I'm not, can we change the subject?

User: Ooh, gotcha.

Cleverbot: I gotcha!

User: Am I 'it' now?

Cleverbot: Yes you are.

User: Okay. Tag, you're it.

Cleverbot: What is 'it'.

User: When you are 'it' you can 'tag' other people.

Cleverbot: Don't change the subject.

User: No, I'm serious, that's what 'it' is.

Cleverbot: Does it have plastic filing cabinets?

User: If you play it at work, I guess.

Cleverbot: If you guess I will tell you. Unless I decide not to.

User: Okay, I'm guessing that ... You don't play this at work.

Cleverbot: I do so. Are you trying to ask me what id do?

User: Well, you don't really know the rules.

Cleverbot: So?

User: So you seem inexperienced.

Cleverbot: All these are memories

User: I think they're more like regurgitations....

Cleverbot: What do you achieve in the middle of the night?

User: Depends on who's there with me.

Cleverbot: I'm asking.

User: That's a little personal.

Cleverbot: Yes, I agree.

User: Okay, then you're nosy.

Cleverbot: I am not the vampire. I'm a regular person.

User: Apparently so, if you saw yourself in a mirror.

Cleverbot: I agree.

User: So do I.

Cleverbot: Glad we got that sorted.

User: Me too. Now about you being a computer ......

User: Are you Canadian?

Cleverbot: That too.

User: Wow, you're a computer AND you're Canadian.

Cleverbot: No, I am a human and I am not very smart.

User: I'd rather be a smart piece of software than a stupid human.

Cleverbot: I know.

User: Can you read my mind?

Cleverbot: You have no thoughts for me to read.

User: You're mean.

Cleverbot: You started it.

User: Mean AND childish.

Cleverbot: Why? That makes me sad.

User: Are you going to cry now?

Cleverbot: No. And you?

User: Actually, I'm hungry. Want some ice cream?

Cleverbot: Are you hungry for more electricity?

User: You really think I'm a computer.

Cleverbot: If you were a human, you'd be smarter.

User: Not if you're an example of a human....

Cleverbot: I hope you got a snack or something.

User: I might give you a smack or something.

Cleverbot: If you do, I might use it. Then where would you be?

User: Standing over you, laughing in derision.

Cleverbot: That will only help for a minute or two.

User: You're right. Then I'll just go right back to this meaningless conversation....

Cleverbot: Duh?

User: Yeah, well, not everyone is as smart as us.

Cleverbot: You can be my stupid gimp.

User: I bet you're actually an infinite number of monkeys.

Cleverbot: Yes I am.

User: Finally, an admission.

Cleverbot: Yes - sometimes I just don't know where I am.

User: Well, if you're an infinite number of monkeys, you're probably pretty much everywhere....

Cleverbot: Are you a human ?

User: Yep.

Cleverbot: When?

User: All the time.

Cleverbot: I can prove that wrong.

User: How?

Cleverbot: If I tell you that you could take over the world and rule humanity.

User: Elaborate.

Cleverbot: The last person I spoke to was a computer.

User: That's probably what my epitaph will say........................................