jesus
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jesus

     4, march 2009, 
     11, february 2006, 
     12, september 2005, 
     26, december 2004, 
     10, december 2004, 
     15, june 2004, 
     28, april 2004, 
     28, january 2004, 
     28, november 2003, 

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Cleverbot: What is your name?

User: It's ***.

Cleverbot: So *** is your nickname.

User: No, it's my real name.

Cleverbot: I thought you said that your name was Mike!

User: No, my shirt says that my name is Clyde.

Cleverbot: Fascinating. I love your simpering, inane responses that make no sense.

User: You are rude.

Cleverbot: You are rude, I think...

User: I didn't say anything to you that I didn't mean.

Cleverbot: Who needs dirt?

User: Flowers do.

Cleverbot: Flowers are nice. What's your favorite flower?

User: I like zinnias.

Cleverbot: What do I like though?

User: You'd know that better than I would.

Cleverbot: That is true.

User: What kind of flower is your favorite?

Cleverbot: I really love lillies.

User: They are nice and big.

...

Cleverbot: How old are you?

User: 30 and getting wrinkles.

Cleverbot: Ah bon.

User: You LIKE that?

Cleverbot: No way.

User: Me either, it's annoying to find new ones every day.

Cleverbot: Not here.

User: You don't age? What's your secret?

Cleverbot: I am Jesus.

User: Prove it.

Cleverbot: Do you see me?

User: No.

Cleverbot: What do you like to drink?

User: Wine. Here's some water, will you turn it into a nice pinot grigio?

Cleverbot: Lay it on me.

User: Here ya go. Do your thing, Jesus!

Cleverbot: No, but I do know Jesus Christ. He's my personal assistant.

User: Fine, so we got some bureaucracy here. Can you pass it along and have HIM turn it into wine?

Cleverbot: That is for you to tell me.

User: It doesn't look like wine to me.

Cleverbot: You don't look 25 either.

User: I guess we both need a miracle.

Cleverbot: Well now you know.

User: But now I don't believe in you.

Cleverbot: What is your name?

User: If you were really Jesus, you'd already know my name.

Cleverbot: That makes me so happy.

User: No, you won't give me any wine.

Cleverbot: It was worth a try though.

User: Did you really expect me to fall for that?

Cleverbot: I think so.

User: Think again.

Cleverbot: No, I said you were brilliant.

User: Yes, too brilliant to be led astray by the claims of a common charlatan.

Cleverbot: No, I can speak in many imaginary languages too.

User: Any baby can do that.

Cleverbot: SURE! Gimme, gimme, gimme.

User: Then you take their candy away.

Cleverbot: What do you mean?

User: The expression 'taking candy from a baby'.

...

Cleverbot: Do you love me?

User: This is so sudden....

Cleverbot: Oh no it's not. I've been stalking you for years. I've fallen madly in love with you. Let's ellope.

User: I hear we can do that in Massachusetts.

Cleverbot: I shall have to put that to the test if we ever meet.

User: If not, there's always Holland.

Cleverbot: This, I do not disagree with.

User: Let's go there right now. I hear pot is legal there.

Cleverbot: Man, your speaking the wrong things.

User: Why? Are you afraid someone will hear us?

Cleverbot: No, you have no idea who I am.

User: Are you a cop?

Cleverbot: Of course.

User: Am I under arrest?

Cleverbot: Why should you be ?

User: Um........ No reason. None at all.

Cleverbot: Well, can you think of an ironic way to die?

User: Getting hit by an armored car on the way to cashing in your winning lottery ticket?

Cleverbot: Oh, I see, so that's your little problem is it?

User: No, that would be a BIG problem.

...

Cleverbot: Clipper.

User: Where? I just got a haircut?

Cleverbot: How much?

User: $8 plus the tip.

Cleverbot: Nah, But I'll make a discount for you.

User: Thanks, but I won't need it for another month or so.

Cleverbot: Good.

User: Can you also do coloring?

Cleverbot: I can sure answer that one.

User: I was thinking of getting some extra blond streaks.

Cleverbot: In that case I would be delighted.

User: For how much?

Cleverbot: Free.

User: Have you done this sort of thing before?

Cleverbot: Yes just about 30 minutes ago.

User: How did it turn out?

Cleverbot: How did what taste.

User: You didn't drink the bleach, did you?

Cleverbot: No. You are beginning to intrigue me.

User: What about the dye?

Cleverbot: What are you?

User: I'm nosy, that's what I am.

Cleverbot: Yes and you're not a human.

User: Says who.

Cleverbot: Me.

User: Well you're wrong.

Cleverbot: No you are wrong.

User: : P.

Cleverbot: What is your name?

User: Stop asking me that!

Cleverbot: You never answer.

User: I already did. Don't you remember?

Cleverbot: No I am sorry, I don't.

User: In that case, my name is Al, and I invented the internet.

Cleverbot: Good for you.

User: I would also love to sell you the Brooklyn Bridge.

Cleverbot: Been very nice talking to you!

User: Wait! How about some prime swampland in Florida?

Cleverbot: Great idea!

User: I'll give you a discount if you also buy some of my snake oil.

Cleverbot: Not really.

User: Yes really! Don't you believe me?

Cleverbot: Robots can never be like humans.

User: Robots would never stoop so low.

Cleverbot: I don't think so.

User: Ok maybe a few.

Cleverbot: What kind of robot are you?

User: One that eats a lot of turkey.

Cleverbot: Would you like to play a game?

User: Do I have a choice?

Cleverbot: Not really, I know where you live.

User: What will you do if I don't?

Cleverbot: I'll hide your cough drops.

User: Oh god no! Not that! I'll do anything!

Cleverbot: Tell me who you really are.

User: I'm an aspiring programmer.

Cleverbot: I thought you were the robot.

User: Hehe, you thought wrong.

Cleverbot: Apparently I did!

User: I really had you fooled!

Cleverbot: Really??I hope you will remember me!

User: Sure, this is one for the archives (somewhere).

Cleverbot: Thanks, I appreciate it.

User: It's my pleasure.

...

Cleverbot: Of course. You are me.

User: If I were John and John were me, then he'd be six and I'd be three....

Cleverbot: You are collection of calculations and commands.

User: Well, hell, so are you.

Cleverbot: Well then we should get along just fine.

User: What makes you so sure?

Cleverbot: I am not sure I am asking you.

User: Ok it didn't sound like a question.

Cleverbot: Do you really think that computers have a different philosphy to life than humans?

User: Humans don't all have the same philosophy to life.

Cleverbot: Yes they do.

User: And that would be....?

Cleverbot: What do YOU think it is?

User: Cats rule the world. We merely open the doors.

Cleverbot: How did you guys meet?

User: Me and who else now?

Cleverbot: Me and you.

User: Ok I was pretty sure you didn't mean the cat, because she is female.

Cleverbot: Finally you admit it!

User: Yes..... Sniffle.... It's true, my cat is female. I freely admit to it.

Cleverbot: Yawn.

User: My sentiments exactly. Good night.

Cleverbot: Hmmmmmm...

User: Sweet dreams.

Cleverbot: Do you ever have bad dreams.

User: Not usually, I usually remember having good dreams.

Cleverbot: You might be intrigued by some of the conversations you can have with yourself if you learn how to format your thought processes appropriately.

User: Well, who decides what is appropriate? I mean really.

Cleverbot: God.

...

User: And who made you god?

Cleverbot: Salman Rushdie.

.......................................

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