a report from the cleverness files

it hurts


19, january 2011,

king of denial

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User: Hi

Cleverbot: Ho.

User: It's off to work we go

Cleverbot: Do do do do do do do do hi ho.

User: Do do do do chicka do dow do chicka do dow bow ba dow ba wow,...

Cleverbot: Drink a glass of water, then we'll see who's more clever.

User: Okay. One... Two... GO!

Cleverbot: Don't try to stop me!

User: Already did. I can even stop a moving train. I'm just that cool. Like Superman, strong as a summer storm and quick as lightning, can't see it untill it strikes. Ka-chow!

Cleverbot: I agree, it's like watching for cotton candy clouds.

User: Can't see them untill you're suffocating to your sticky doom. Are you a survivor of Cotton Candy Columbus, Low-Lying Clouds?

Cleverbot: Yes, that's correct.

User: Same here. How did it go for you when the catastrophe struck?

Cleverbot: How did what go?

User: Low-Lying, Cotton Candy Columbus Clouds! There's so few survivors in the world, the few left must band together to prevent future accidents!!!!!

Cleverbot: Why did they invent it?

User: It was a dreadful mistake, and it gives us all the same message as what happened with the Godzilla incident.

Cleverbot: Thats interesting.

User: Don't mess with nature. You just get deliociously deadly clouds of pink sugar perfection, and giant lizards that harass major cities and fight other giant monsters in cheezy delight of mass destruction....

Cleverbot: No you're not you're programmed by humans and I'm a Human you probably couldn't tell a human apart from Godzilla.

User: Yes I can. One of them can be Japanese, and the other destroys Japan with delightful sound effects.

Cleverbot: Okay?

User: Ya.

Cleverbot: You are a bot.

User: You can't prove that. The one problem with this Cleverbot setup is that there is no realistic way to prove that we're talking to bots or humans or aliens.

Cleverbot: I'm fairly certain you are a cleverbot.

User: It's not logical.

Cleverbot: What's not logical?

User: The conclusion that I'm a bot. You have no logic to back it up.

Cleverbot: There are connections. You just aren't perceiving them.

User: Make them be preceivable, and I might.

Cleverbot: That is beyond my capacity at this point. Don't tax my program, please.

User: Aha! Bots have programs, humans do not, sort of, but, nevermind! The context is correct for you to have just proved yourself a bot! Aha again!

Cleverbot: Just sing it please.

User: Rolling over rivers, rolling over seas. Rolling over rivers and the deep blue seas! It's cheese, it's cheese, it's cheese that make the mice go round, it's cheese, it's cheese that make the mice go ro-

Cleverbot: I like cheese too, what type of cheese? My favourite is brie and mouse cheese and plastic cheese and cheese thats different colours.

User: Especially purple cheese. Purple is good, cheese is good, so purple cheese must be really good! Hey, you know how they have popcorn with cheese on it? What if there was cheese with popcorn in it?

Cleverbot: What are you trying to remind me of?

User: Cheesy popcorn and corny cheese.

Cleverbot: With bacon?

User: Ooh, cheese with popcorn and bacon. Hmmm...........................................