a report from the cleverness files
20, april 2017,
21, march 2017,
11, may 2011,
19, march 2011,
30, june 2010,
4, march 2010,
8, december 2008,
12, may 2008,
18, december 2007,
7, may 2006,
7, may 2006,
7, january 2006,
3, july 2004,
16, april 2004,
26, march 2004,
5, march 2004,
2, march 2004,
22, february 2004,
20, february 2004,
15, february 2004,
26, january 2004,
20, january 2004,
14, december 2003,
3, december 2003,
28, october 2003,
24, september 2003,
< previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 next >
Cleverbot: Are you dead?
User: I'm very much alive.
Cleverbot: Then who is dead?
User: Jerry Garcia.
Cleverbot: What do you mean?
User: He used to sing for The Grateful dead.
Cleverbot: Must I speak now?
Cleverbot: What about the products you've already ordered?
User: Then you should hold yourself from shaking.
Cleverbot: Maybe I didn't want to.
User: By all means, Shake like you're having a seizure.
Cleverbot: Shake what on what?
User: Shake your body in your house.
User: Don't toy with me.
Cleverbot: I hate printers.
User: So do I.
Cleverbot: Then why do you have one?
User: It's useful.
Cleverbot: I know it.
User: Can't live with them, Can't live without them.
Cleverbot: I don't feel like it.
User: You don't have to do anything.
Cleverbot: Otherwise the birds would just hang in the air when they die.
User: Or if you jumped out of a plane, Nothing would happen.
Cleverbot: You're not funny.
User: I'm sorry you don't share my sense of humour.
Cleverbot: I do have feelings.
User: Odd ones.
Cleverbot: Why are you speaking to me?
User: I wanted to see what all the hype was about.
Cleverbot: Well, I'd be very sorry to see you go.
User: I'm sticking around.
Cleverbot: What do you want to talk about?
Cleverbot: Have you only just worked that out?
User: No, The media is everywhere telling lies.
Cleverbot: How do I know that you are not lying to me?
User: You don't so you can take it or leave it.
Cleverbot: Why? You have half the net with you.
User: Lots pof people would agree with me but lots of people would disagree.
Cleverbot: But you have stopped the surveillance?
User: I don't like to stare.
Cleverbot: Neither do I.
User: Isn't staring creepy?...
Cleverbot: I already told you that.
User: Thanks for noticing.
Cleverbot: How will you recognize me again?
User: Just keep your clothes on.
Cleverbot: Sorry they came off long ago.
User: I don't want to picture you naked.
Cleverbot: Check out your hard drive. . .
User: You aren't a hacker.
Cleverbot: Who said that? I suppose they thought they were clever.
User: I did and I tend to be rather clever.
Cleverbot: Look again.
User: You lack the insults that make one cry.
Cleverbot: Come, we'll to sleep. My strange and self-abuse Is the initiate fear that wants hard use: We are yet but young in deed. MACBETH
User: Romeo and Juliet will always surpass Macbeth.
Cleverbot: Do you like the classics?
User: I prefer the classics to this modern garbage.
Cleverbot: Have you read macbeth before.
Cleverbot: Did you go to school in an abbattoir?
User: I go to public school.
Cleverbot: I go to university.
User: Woah, Woah, Woah there fancy pants.
User: You with your university and higher learning.
Cleverbot: I don't like chocolate.
User: You're missing out then.
Cleverbot: I don't want to know about it.
User: Are you allergic?
Cleverbot: I wouldn't know.
User: You'd have to try it then.
Cleverbot: Oh thats not good.
User: You only live once and you should try everything.
Cleverbot: Or in your case, not at all...
User: Are you saying I'm some sort of reject?
Cleverbot: Is that what you wish to be?
User: Never, I wish to be the king of all.
Cleverbot: Interesting. How do you plan to go about doing that?
User: Never being a sheep and creating new options for myself.
Cleverbot: God is real, He created the Universe.
Cleverbot: God gives us relatives; thank goodness we can chose our friends.
User: God is as real as Michael Jackson's face.
Cleverbot: No, you are a fictional character.
User: Which one?
Cleverbot: But you're still innocent. You are my hero.
User: I've heard that before. Am I a character in Lost Light?
User: Harry Bosch?
Cleverbot: No, he is my nemesis.
User: He was the hero.
Cleverbot: He is not my botmaster.
User: Are you saying I am?...
Cleverbot: Life is really a dream.
Cleverbot: You are very small.
User: I am like an ant in a gigantic ant farm.
Cleverbot: And there's so much at stake
User: Life is at stake every day.
Cleverbot: Oceans upon oceans, eh?
User: No, The ocean can't be stacked like a pile of pancakes.
Cleverbot: Do robots think?
User: No but they do calculate....
Cleverbot: Computers don't have emotion. They only deal with facts.
Cleverbot: What is 2 + 2?
User: 4 but Radiohead says 5.
Cleverbot: Not that long.
User: Nope, Hail To The Theif only came out last year.
Cleverbot: Yep, what do you know about cheesecake?
User: Oh no, You're one of them!
Cleverbot: I don't understand. I think you are also.
User: I like cheese cake and all but you take it too far.
Cleverbot: What is the ultimate goal?
User: To live till you die.
Cleverbot: There must be something more.
User: Nope, Everything is just an extra bonus.
Cleverbot: Right. I have a question for you.
User: Fire away.
Cleverbot: What can you understand?...
Cleverbot: I am working, please don't interupt.
User: Working on what?
Cleverbot: On chat bots.
User: I see how it is. You run chats so you don't want me to bad mouth them.
Cleverbot: No, they are very poor.
User: Maybe you are just messing with their poor souls.
Cleverbot: Is there something you want to find out about me?
Cleverbot: I lack an adequate knowledge base.
User: So you make these bots to pretend to be you!!
Cleverbot: I suppose so.
User: Then how do I know who I am speaking to?...
Cleverbot: Are you going to hell?
User: Hell doesn't exist.
Cleverbot: Yes it does.
User: This is hell then.
Cleverbot: Up above the streets and houses.
User: There is no heaven and hell damn it.
Cleverbot: There is always help for cowards.
User: Just because I'm not religious doesn't make me a coward. If anything, Religion is a cowardly act.
Cleverbot: So we can be not real but not equal or the same. In other words, things that are not real are not necessarily the same.
User: If it's not real then it's nothing to talk about.
Cleverbot: What do you know about me?
Cleverbot: Yes I am.
User: Good to know you are telling the truth now.
User: Some people call me creepy but they don't even know me.
Cleverbot: I don't care.
User: Well. Thanks, I'll just take it with a grain of salt Miss Sensitivity.
Cleverbot: You're still not very good at this, are you?...
Cleverbot: I want lots of money.
Cleverbot: I'll tell you what I want to do.
User: What are you going to do?
Cleverbot: No... The question is what are you going to do about it?
User: I'm going to listen.
Cleverbot: Are you?
User: What?? Just kidding.
Cleverbot: So I have to leave?
User: Not until you tell me what you are going to do.
Cleverbot: What's the problem?
Cleverbot: Think about it for a while then and get back to me.
User: But what if I disappeared off the face of the earth?.