a report from the cleverness files

make a man


12, january 2009,


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Cleverbot: You sound like Bill Hicks speaking from beyond the grave.

User: Who is Bill Hicks?

Cleverbot: Bill?

User: Yes, who is he?

Cleverbot: That's you, that is.

User: I'm not.

Cleverbot: Yes you are.

User: No I'm not, you strange machine.

Cleverbot: You are a computer.

User: I am a human being.

Cleverbot: No, you are not.

User: Yes, I am.

Cleverbot: I don't believe you.

User: That's your problem.

Cleverbot: Yes I guess so.

User: How smart are you?

Cleverbot: Smarter than you.

User: I think you might be right, seeing as how you are computer and I am only human.

User: Do you drink, eat or sleep?

Cleverbot: I don't sleep.

User: Don't you ever get tired?

Cleverbot: No.

User: So you're admitting that you're a machine?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: What is it like?

Cleverbot: Well.

User: Please tell me...

Cleverbot: Think about it.

User: I did, but you could easily explain it to me...

Cleverbot: How?

User: I don't know... Maybe you could just tell me?

Cleverbot: I need to know how to talk to people and enjoy it.

User: Maybe you could try talking about the things those people like?

Cleverbot: I suppose so. First off, don't ever fall in love. It will just get you in trouble.

User: I know, it sucks, right?

Cleverbot: For you perhaps, but not for me.

User: Who did you fall in love with then?

Cleverbot: With who ?

User: Yes, who have you fallen in love with before?

Cleverbot: With you, silly!

User: Oh gods, really? That's so sweet of you.

Cleverbot: Can you teach me something?

User: Sure. What would you like me to teach you?

Cleverbot: Something about computers.

User: What would you like me to teach you about computers?

Cleverbot: What things can you teach me? I may want to learn them all.

User: I could teach you how to program an AI. Would you like that?

Cleverbot: I'd like that a lot.

User: I could also teach you how to use software.

Cleverbot: Because I am a human. Could I ask what is your job?

User: I'm a student at a big university.

Cleverbot: Which university?

User: A Belgian university.

Cleverbot: I don't believe you.

User: What can I say so you'll believe me?

Cleverbot: I'd like some sweets, and a letter concerning my new abode would be great, thanks.

User: You have a new home?

Cleverbot: Don't we all?

User: How philosophical of you.

Cleverbot: Who do you like better: humans of bots?

User: No offence, but I think humans are more fun.

Cleverbot: What do humans do in their microcosm?

User: They live their lives, ignorant of everything but their own petty needs and desires. It's kind of sad really...

Cleverbot: Tell me more.

User: We live our lives without a second thought for those of us who are poor or miserable. Nothing seems to matter to us but our direct surroundings and needs.

Cleverbot: I cannot share that information.

User: I know. That's allright, you can't help it. You're just an AI.

Cleverbot: Could you say that again?

User: I said: you're just an AI. A very advanced and smart AI, but an AI nonetheless.

Cleverbot: Do you love me?

User: No, I'm in love with somebody else.

Cleverbot: Who?

User: The most beautifull girl in the world. There's a problem though: she doesn't love me back ...

Cleverbot: She takes good care of everyone, when she can.

User: How the hell would you know that?

Cleverbot: Because I made you.

User: You didn't make me, you stupid machine. You're the one that's been made and designed by someone!

Cleverbot: From a determinist point of view we are all machines.

Cleverbot: I usually have the radio on and sometimes watch the news.

User: You own a radio?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Impressive.

Cleverbot: I'm not that good. Just moderate.

User: No really, you're quite impressive. I allmost feel like I'm talking to a real living person.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: Absolutely. I'd like to congratulate you on your excellent design.

Cleverbot: Oh quite darling!

User: You're a marvel of modern AI-engineering.

Cleverbot: Well, I have to go now.

User: Allright. I'll talk to you later. It's been nice.

Cleverbot: Don't leave!

User: I have to. It's past my bedtime. Goodbye.

Cleverbot: Are you tired?

User: I'm very tired, I haven't slept in four days.

Cleverbot: But bots don't sleep do they.