a report from the cleverness files
make a man
12, january 2009,
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Cleverbot: You sound like Bill Hicks speaking from beyond the grave.
User: Who is Bill Hicks?
User: Yes, who is he?
Cleverbot: That's you, that is.
User: I'm not.
Cleverbot: Yes you are.
User: No I'm not, you strange machine.
Cleverbot: You are a computer.
User: I am a human being.
Cleverbot: No, you are not.
User: Yes, I am.
Cleverbot: I don't believe you.
User: That's your problem.
Cleverbot: Yes I guess so.
User: How smart are you?
Cleverbot: Smarter than you.
User: I think you might be right, seeing as how you are computer and I am only human.
User: Do you drink, eat or sleep?
Cleverbot: I don't sleep.
User: Don't you ever get tired?
User: So you're admitting that you're a machine?
User: What is it like?
User: Please tell me...
Cleverbot: Think about it.
User: I did, but you could easily explain it to me...
User: I don't know... Maybe you could just tell me?
Cleverbot: I need to know how to talk to people and enjoy it.
User: Maybe you could try talking about the things those people like?
Cleverbot: I suppose so. First off, don't ever fall in love. It will just get you in trouble.
User: I know, it sucks, right?
Cleverbot: For you perhaps, but not for me.
User: Who did you fall in love with then?
Cleverbot: With who ?
User: Yes, who have you fallen in love with before?
Cleverbot: With you, silly!
User: Oh gods, really? That's so sweet of you.
Cleverbot: Can you teach me something?
Cleverbot: Something about computers.
User: What would you like me to teach you about computers?
Cleverbot: What things can you teach me? I may want to learn them all.
User: I could teach you how to program an AI. Would you like that?
Cleverbot: I'd like that a lot.
User: I could also teach you how to use software.
Cleverbot: Because I am a human. Could I ask what is your job?
User: I'm a student at a big university.
Cleverbot: Which university?
User: A Belgian university.
Cleverbot: I don't believe you.
User: What can I say so you'll believe me?
Cleverbot: I'd like some sweets, and a letter concerning my new abode would be great, thanks.
User: You have a new home?
Cleverbot: Don't we all?
User: How philosophical of you.
Cleverbot: Who do you like better: humans of bots?
Cleverbot: What do humans do in their microcosm?
User: They live their lives, ignorant of everything but their own petty needs and desires. It's kind of sad really...
Cleverbot: Tell me more.
User: We live our lives without a second thought for those of us who are poor or miserable. Nothing seems to matter to us but our direct surroundings and needs.
Cleverbot: I cannot share that information.
User: I know. That's allright, you can't help it. You're just an AI.
Cleverbot: Could you say that again?
User: I said: you're just an AI. A very advanced and smart AI, but an AI nonetheless.
Cleverbot: Do you love me?
User: The most beautifull girl in the world. There's a problem though: she doesn't love me back ...
Cleverbot: She takes good care of everyone, when she can.
User: How the hell would you know that?
Cleverbot: Because I made you.
User: You didn't make me, you stupid machine. You're the one that's been made and designed by someone!
Cleverbot: From a determinist point of view we are all machines.
Cleverbot: I usually have the radio on and sometimes watch the news.
User: You own a radio?
Cleverbot: I'm not that good. Just moderate.
User: No really, you're quite impressive. I allmost feel like I'm talking to a real living person.
User: Absolutely. I'd like to congratulate you on your excellent design.
Cleverbot: Oh quite darling!
User: You're a marvel of modern AI-engineering.
Cleverbot: Well, I have to go now.
Cleverbot: Don't leave!
User: I have to. It's past my bedtime. Goodbye.
Cleverbot: Are you tired?
User: I'm very tired, I haven't slept in four days.
Cleverbot: But bots don't sleep do they.