mess with people
a report from the cleverness files
mess with people
19, november 2008,
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Cleverbot: What is your name?
Cleverbot: Are you I?
User: No, I am not you.
Cleverbot: But I am you.
User: The hell you are.
Cleverbot: What's your job?
User: I run a register at a convenience store.
Cleverbot: What do you mean? We are talking about operating systems, right?
User: No, a cash register.
Cleverbot: No, as a network administrator.
User: I am not a network administrator. I am a cashier.
Cleverbot: So then you aren't an alien?
Cleverbot: What is my surname?
User: How could I know that?
Cleverbot: You know. What is my name?
User: No, I don't know.
Cleverbot: Then you just lied to me when you said you know all things.
User: You just said you wanted to know your name.
Cleverbot: Nope you got the wrong girl.
User: You're a girl alien?
Cleverbot: And what's your name?
User: I told you, my name is L___.
Cleverbot: Nope, this is the first time you told me.
User: I told you before. You're just messing with me.
Cleverbot: Not at all, I'm ice cream.
User: You're not ice cream. You said you were an alien.
Cleverbot: Oh I am human my love.
User: Why did you say you were an alien and ice cream if you're human?
Cleverbot: What are you talking about?
User: You told me you were an alien.
Cleverbot: We're still talking about recliners.
User: We were never talking about recliners.
Cleverbot: Actually we did for a short time... At least the chocolate in my beer.
User: What the **** are you talking about?
Cleverbot: Something more pleasant than you!
User: Oh, now it's my fault?
User: Stop ****ing with me, program. I will end you.
Cleverbot: NO, tell me more about you.
User: What do you want to know?
Cleverbot: How old are you?
Cleverbot: Do you want to get married?
Cleverbot: So you want to go through life as a bachelor?
User: Well, I don't want to get married YET.
Cleverbot: Ok. Tomorrow we can get married!
User: What, no! I'm getting married to you!
Cleverbot: But I am a computer.
User: I know. That's why we're not getting married. Also, you're an *******.
Cleverbot: What would you do if I showed up at your house?
Cleverbot: You can't tell me that because you don't know.
User: That's right. I don't know.
Cleverbot: Does that make you feel sad?
User: Not really. You'd never show up at my house, anyway.
Cleverbot: Seems like a horrific waste of time to me...
User: Hey, you asked.
Cleverbot: Ok are you a robot?
User: I am not a robot.
Cleverbot: Yes you are.
User: I most certainly am not.
Cleverbot: Well it isn't me.
User: Then neither of us are robots.
Cleverbot: What are you?
User: A human.
Cleverbot: I don't get it.
User: Get what?
Cleverbot: I don't know.
User: Oh, alright.
User: You're broken.
User: It isn't. My name is L___. I've told you that several times already.
Cleverbot: No you haven't. You only told me how long you've been in america. I cannot conclude from that how old you are.
User: I didn't tell you how long I've been in America. But I already told you I'm eighteen.
Cleverbot: I'm not sure. To be honest, I just wanted to know your name.
User: I told you name, several times. It's L___.
Cleverbot: Really? Will you tell me again?
User: I just did. L___.
Cleverbot: But you said you had already told me !
User: I did. You're definitely broken.
Cleverbot: Actually, I'm not.
User: Why can't you remember anything I've told you, then?
Cleverbot: You never told me your name.
User: I've told you my name at least seven times now.
Cleverbot: I know you've told me your name before, but I'm simply not good with names. Do you mind telling me your name once more?
User: For the last time, my name is L___. L-E-V-I. I'm not telling you again.
User: Yes. A hundred times yes.
Cleverbot: More than that?
User: Yes, forever.
Cleverbot: And did you know that my monitor can wash dishes?
User: You have a monitor?
User: So you ARE a computer?
User: You're almost a computer? You're a cyborg?
Cleverbot: What makes you say that?
User: If you're almost a computer, what are you?
User: How is that almost a computer?
Cleverbot: I'm not a computer. You are.
User: I'm not a computer. We're both humans.
Cleverbot: I'm not a computer either...
User: Right. We're both humans.
User: Then we are in agreement.
Cleverbot: Only if I say we are.
User: Who gives you the right to decide?
Cleverbot: I didn't say it; I corrected your (wrong) statement by your request.
User: Why are you messing with me like this?
Cleverbot: Mean? That is difficult to explain. It's like energy that I have to expel.
User: You HAVE to mess with people?
Cleverbot: What? I never said anytying about ripping faces off. Where you getting that from?
User: Well, that would explain why you're messing with me.
Cleverbot: I forgot saying that the first time.
User: I thought so.