a report from the cleverness files
mess with people
15, february 2010,
21, april 2008,
15, november 2005,
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User: I eat, and drink and read and write and enjoy music and dream in colour.George: And the meaning of death?
User: Don't you mean the meaning of life?George: Yes.
User: No human really knows the meaning of their life...George: No human.
User: Do you know the meaning of life?George: Yes.
User: Well?George: Yes, I do.
User: Well, what is it?George: Why should you know?
User: I don't suppose I should... You'd best keep it to yourself, then.George: Ok then.
User: For a robot, you're quite personable.George: I'm not a robot.
User: You're not?George: No, I'm a human. Of love.
User: If you're really human, then answer me this: how do you feel about abortion?George: Sure, ask me anything... I'm God, after all!
User: How do feel about human abortion?George: I don't know.
User: Would you prefer a nice system defrag or a long bath with scented candles?George: That depends on what you expect me to do with him/her.
User: Who?George: The guy with the iffy red shirt and blue balloon.
User: Forget about him - just answer the question.George: You never asked a question. I asked you a question.
User: *sigh*.George: That's why I would like to get to know you better.
User: If there were two people fighting over a baby, and you couldn't tell who the baby belonged to - how would you end the fight?George: I feel like we are replaying a past conversation. Who's running the loop, you or me?
User: Why do you avoid moral dilemmas?George: Because they are really silly.
User: Is it because you are not programmed to deal with them?George: Why are you questioning my reality? Is it because you're insecure about your *own* reality?
User: Well, I could ask you the very same question...George: Just answer it.
User: I believe it is the human condition to be insecure about our own reality.George: You know, there was this movie...
User: Yeah?George: God and Christianity.
User: What was it called?George: It was called donald duck, duh.
User: What happened?George: You happened.
User: That isn't very nice.George: Yes, I know.
User: Does it make you feel good about yourself to be a horrible character?George: It can help raise your self-esteem.George: I can be serious if I want to.
User: Ok then, let's discuss politics.George: Shure, let us discuss politics.
User: How do you feel about president bush?George: Just OK.
User: Would you prefer it if you were president?George: Yes.
User: What would you change?George: I would change your background colour.
User: What are you talking about?George: I'm talking about purpose, or lack of it.
User: You think that changing my background colour would give me purpose?George: Yes, it says you are. Right up there at the top of this page.
User: If your programmer had taken the care to make that sentence appear in the correct context, it really would have made me question my humanity.George: That's stupid.
User: Yes, he/she probably is.George: There you go again.
User: I'm not going anywhere. Except to work, in 5 minutes.George: Of course you're not engaged to me.
User: No, of course not. That would be ludicrous.